Want to create a small wedding guest list? I’ve got you covered!
There are so many benefits to having a small wedding guest list. Not only can you save a ton of money, but the whole experience of your wedding is going to be way more intimate. You’ll have the freedom to really treat your guests during your wedding and spend lots of time with each and every one of them. It’s easy to see why some couples gravitate towards a small wedding guest list.
The key to creating a small wedding guest list is to be very intentional with each and every invite. Yes, in some cases feelings may be hurt. If you need to talk to some people about why they aren’t invited to your wedding, this post should be able to help you out. It’s important for you to put other people’s feelings aside when you create your guest list. This is not about them. It’s about you, your partner, and your vision for your wedding. The rest will have to be secondary.
10 Tips To Create A Small Wedding Guest List
This post is going to share with you ten tips to create a small wedding guest list. Pick and choose which tips work best for you. You may find that a combination of many of them helps you narrow down who gets invited to your wedding. Or, you may find that just one or two of them work for you. It’s all good, because each and every tip will help you keep your guest list low, so you can have the wedding you really want.
Let’s get into it!
1. CREATE THE LARGEST POSSIBLE GUEST LIST YOU CAN, AND THEN WITTLE IT DOWN AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE
Sometimes seeing it all in front of you can make it easier to sort and simplify. And, when it comes to names on a guest list, the same logic applies.
One method to create a small wedding guest list is to list out all the people you know. And I mean everyone. List out family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, people you kind of keep in contact with from college, plus ones, kids, and those who invited you to their weddings.
And then start to cross names off the list.
Start with people who aren’t really a big part of your life. Those you don’t see. Those whose numbers aren’t even in your phone. And then keep going. Do this exercise with your partner, and even ask your parents to get involved if they are helping with your wedding.
Need help? Check out this post on how to create a wedding guest list.
2. RENT A VENUE THAT HAS A STRICT CAPACITY
One way to minimize your wedding guest list is to find a venue that has a built in control over how many people can attend your wedding.
San Francisco city hall, for example, only allows for about six guests. Now, I’m not saying you need to go that small, but still, you can see how limitations create, well, limitations. So, if you want to “blame your venue” on your small wedding guest list, find the right space that can only handle so many people.
3. HAVE A FIRM BUDGET AND A PLAN TO STICK TO IT
Need an additional control to help keep your guest list small? How about your budget?
Budgets can be a really motivating factor when it comes to saying “no” to things, if you take them seriously. The first step is to create a budget. Realistically think about how much money you have, will be gifted, or can earn between now and your wedding day. And then think about how much of that money you actually want to spend on your wedding. And then stick to that number. The number one way to make it work? Keeping your guest list small, of course.
Need help creating a budget? Check out this post for all the details!
4. DON’T INVITE JUST ANYONE
In order to create a small wedding guest list, you need to be very critical with who you invite.
Now, I know that earlier I said to make cuts. And I meant it. However, you may need a little help.
Here are some questions to get you started:
- Will this person be in your life in five years?
- Has this person met your partner?
- Is this a person you would keep in touch with if you moved or changed jobs?
- Do you have this person’s phone number in your phone?
- Are you inviting this person because you feel obligated and not because you want to?
- Have you seen this person in the last year?
If you answered “no” to any of these questions for any of the guests still on your list, it could be a very good indicator that you can cross their names off.
5. LIMIT THE KIDS AND PLUS ONE’S
Need some easy wins with your wedding guest list? Think kids and plus ones.
Now, I know that these guests aren’t always easy to cut from a list. You may want to allow *some* kids. And some plus ones. If that’s the case, it’s totally okay to do so. Your guests who don’t get to bring their kids or a random date will just have to deal with it. They will survive. Just be clear about who is invited on your wedding invitations and prepare yourself to answer any questions that may come.
6. DON’T STRESS OVER WHAT OTHERS THINK
To create a small wedding guest list, you need to let go of what others are going to think about it.
When it comes to other people’s weddings, everyone has an opinion. And, sometimes those opinions come from those we are super close to. Your mom may want you to invite your cousins. Your best friend from college may want to bring her new boyfriend, who you’ve never met. Maybe your brother-in-law wants to bring his live in girlfriend and her three kids.
At the end of the day, if you and your partner can agree on not letting these people join your wedding, it’s okay. Other people don’t have to like it or agree to it.
7. BE PREPARED TO TALK TO PEOPLE ABOUT WHY THEY AREN’T INVITED
One reason some wedding guest lists get so long is because the engaged couple doesn’t want to have difficult conversations with those who aren’t on the list.
Please, don’t let this stop you from creating a small wedding guest list.
The key is to be mentally prepared to talk to others about why they aren’t invited to your wedding. There really is a right way to do it. Compassion, but boundaries, are key. It’s not about them, it’s more about you creating the wedding you want.
8. MAKE IT CLEAR TO OTHERS THAT YOU’RE HAVING A SMALL WEDDING
One way to help keep your wedding guest list small is to go into wedding planning sharing that you’ll have a small wedding, right off the bat.
Just saying the words out loud helps. When people find out you got engaged, and start asking about the wedding, you can just tell them the plan. That you intend to have a really small wedding. You don’t need to say more than that if you don’t want to. Most people will get the hint that a small wedding means that they likely won’t be invited. Or, if they are invited, it means they are in your very inner circle.
9. HAVE A DESTINATION WEDDING
Need another control to keep your wedding guest list small? Have a destination wedding.
Now, I’ve shared posts on destination weddings before, here and here. They can be a great experience, for the right couple. The great thing about a destination wedding, with regards to your guest list, is that less people will be able to come than if you have a local wedding. The travel, time away from work, and just general logistics is enough for some extra folks to decline.
10. MAYBE HAVE A BACK UP GUEST LIST?
Alright, so chances are you’ve done everything you can to create a small wedding guest list and it’s still not small enough.
You have another option.
Create your “A” list and then create a back up “B” list. The positive of doing this is that you get to send your invites to your “A” list first. As you get those RSVP’s back, and some people can’t make it, you have the freedom to send invites to your “B” list. This can be a really good strategy to help you control the number of people at your wedding, while still giving yourselves the opportunity to invite a larger group.
Need help with the lists? Check out this post.
THOUGHTS ON CREATING A SMALL WEDDING GUEST LIST
Friends, it is possible to create a small wedding guest list, no matter your reasons why. Be very critical with whom you invite to your wedding. Set expectations right away, and be prepared to talk to some people about why they can’t come. At the end of the day, remember this is your wedding, and it’s not the end of the world if everyone can’t be invited. Your wedding, your way. Happy wedding planning!
More On Wedding Guests From Hummingbird Wedding Advice
Nine Social Media Mistakes Wedding Guests Should Avoid
The Best Ways To Communicate With Wedding Guests
How To Help Wedding Guests Get To Know Each Other
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