11 Ways To Include Your Future Mother In Law In Your Wedding

Want to include your future mother-in-law in your wedding but not sure how? This post has the tips for you!

For the most part, we can all agree that the mother of our future spouse should be involved in our weddings. Unless the woman is a terrible person, or has some severe issues, we likely want her to know what’s going on and feel a part of the wedding. For the sake of this post, let’s assume that this is the case for you. That you want to include your future mother-in-law in your wedding, but aren’t sure how.

The key with including your future mother-in-law in your wedding is to either invite her to join in pre-wedding events, or to delegate things to her. At the very least, there should be communication about the wedding from you, or your fiancé, to her. Being intentional about making your mother-in-law a part of your wedding helps set the stage for your future relationship with her. You’re about to be family, after all.

11 Ways To Include Your Future Mother In Law In Your Wedding

This post is going to give you eleven ways to include your future mother-in-law in your wedding. Remember, I’m making the assumption in this post that you have a decent relationship with this person. If she is abusive, or has some serious addictions or mental health issues, you don’t need to include her in the wedding. You don’t even need to invite her if things are really bad. However, if things are mostly normal (nothing is ever perfect), this is the post for you. Many of the tips in this post are for brides specifically, however, there are tips for everyone.

Let’s get into it!

1. INVITE HER TO YOUR BRIDAL SHOWER

One easy way to include your future mother-in-law in your wedding is to invite her to your bridal shower.

Now, of course, if your bridal shower is going to be some rowdy event with your close friends, you may want to rethink the invite. If your bridal shower is going to more like a bachelorette party, it may not be the right place for your future mother-in-law. However, if your bridal shower will be tasteful, and you think that she’d enjoy herself, make sure she’s invited. She will get to know more of your family and friends, and learn more about the wedding and you in the process.

2. INCLUDE YOUR FUTURE MOTHER-IN-LAW IN YOUR WEDDING DRESS SHOPPING

A really sweet way to include your future mother-in-law in your wedding is to bring her along when you go dress shopping.

Bringing someone to see your potential wedding dresses is a big deal. You’re looking for support, and you’re only holding those spots for your inner circle. Chances are you’re already inviting your mom and bridal party, so why not include your fiancé’s mom? It can give her another chance to meet “your people” and it’s a good time.

Need tips on wedding dress shopping? Here’s the post for you.

3. ASK FOR HER INPUT ON YOUR WEDDING GUEST LIST

One biggie wedding-related input that your future mother-in-law probably should be involved in is helping to create the wedding guest list.

Now, I’m all about the stance that if you’re not paying for the wedding, you really don’t get a vote on who is invited. That said, it is a nice gesture to invite your mother-in-law to provide names of family or friends to invite, just in case. If she is not helping to pay for the wedding, you can give parameters to her. These parameters may consist of just inviting family, or close friends, or giving her a limit of number of people to invite.

Still, it’s a good way to include her and make her feel like she’s a part of the overall wedding planning.

4. HELP HER PICK OUT AN OUTFIT

No matter who your mother-in-law is, if she’s coming to your wedding she will be wearing clothes. And, she may need help deciding what to wear.

So, help her.

This may mean that you go shopping online with her. Or she sends you pics or links to certain outfits and you provide feedback. Maybe the two of you actually go shopping and she tries outfits on. Give her the attention and feedback she deserves during this time. It can be a great bonding moment, and really special.

5. ASK HER FOR HELP ON YOUR REGISTRY

Asking for input on your registry is such an easy way to include your mother-in-law in your wedding.

All you have to do for this one is talk to her about things she uses all the time in her life. Maybe she received some of them at her wedding. Maybe some were handed down through her family. Take notes, and add those things to your registry. Easy peasy.

Need help creating a registry? Check out this post.

6. LET YOUR FUTURE MOTHER IN LAW PLAN THE REHEARSAL DINNER

One thing that became very clear to me when I got engaged is that traditionally, the groom’s parents plan the rehearsal dinner.

Of course, you may not be having a traditional wedding. This is totally okay. You do you, as long as it works for you and your partner. However, you can still see if your fiancé’s mother wants to take charge of the rehearsal dinner. She may not have the funds to pay for it, and may need some help in that respect, but she can still do the venue research, pick the food, and determine the details.

7. ASSIGN SOME DIY TASKS TO HER

Is your future mother-in-law crafty? Why not ask her to help with some DIY projects?

These projects don’t have to be complicated. They could be as simple as printing off signs and putting them into frames. Or picking up some flowers and creating some pretty locations around a venue. See what she’s into and assign away. Some people love to have a reason to be crafty.

8. HAVE LUNCH WITH HER TO TALK ABOUT WEDDING PLANNING

Really not sure how to include your future mother-in-law in your wedding planning? Why not just plan a time to talk to her about the wedding?

It could be over lunch, drinks, dinner, breakfast, or on a walk. It can even be a virtual conversation online or a phone call. Just give her an update on what’s going on. Tell her about some major decisions you’ve come to. Or, tell her about some things you and your partner are still working through. Disclose to her major dates that she needs to know about, and suggestions for travel or what to expect with the wedding.

Just talking to her about it could make her feel more included and allow you to work through some ideas you’ve been pondering.

9. SEND HER UPDATES AS YOU MAKE DECISIONS AND PLAN YOUR WEDDING

Need another easy idea? Why not just give your future mother-in-law updates on your wedding?

This, too, doesn’t have to be intense or invasive. It can be as simple as a text message or email every week with an update. You can let her know what’s happened, what’s going on right now, and what’s next. Maybe tell her what you’re excited about, or anything that has changed. There might be a particular aspect of the wedding that interests her a lot. Give her updates on that part the most. Chances are she will appreciate the continued communication and will enjoy being “in the loop”.

10. INVITE YOUR FUTURE MOTHER IN LAW TO JOIN YOU AS YOU GET READY ON YOUR WEDDING DAY

Everyone knows that getting ready with a bride on her wedding day can be a really fun, and sometimes chaotic, experience.

So why not invite your mother-in-law to join in?

Maybe you’re able to help her get her hair and makeup done. Or you’d like her to hang out and enjoy herself. Maybe you’d like an extra set of hands to help meet a food delivery driver or make sure everyone stays on schedule. In any case, allowing her to be there should be seen as an honor on her part.

11. ASK HER HOW SHE WANTS TO BE INVOLVED

Still need help including your future mother-in-law in your wedding? Just ask her how she wants to be involved.

Her answers may surprise you.

And, you may disagree with her answers right off the rip. This does not mean that you can’t come to a happy compromise or middle ground. Come with a curious mindset when you ask her, and be open to her answers. If she really has no desire to be involved, that’s okay. However, she may have some requests or suggestions that you can deal with. Remember, again, at the end of the day, you will be married to her child and she will be your family. Try and make something work so the olive branch is there for her in the meantime.

THOUGHTS ON WAYS TO INCLUDE YOUR FUTURE MOTHER IN LAW IN YOUR WEDDING

Friends, there are so many ways to include your future mother-in-law in your wedding. Each situation is different, though, so you may need to be creative in order to get your fiancé’s mom involved. If weddings really aren’t her thing, that’s okay. You can still let her know what’s going on. If she wants to be involved, find ways to include her that are actually helpful for you. You’ve got this! Happy wedding planning!

More On Families & Relationships From Hummingbird Wedding Advice

Dress Planning Tips For The Mother Of The Bride (Or Groom!)

14 Low Risk Wedding Planning Tasks To Delegate To Friends & Family

How To Deal With Family Drama Around Your Wedding

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