Depending on your situation, there may be many reasons why you should pay for your own wedding.
We all know that weddings are expensive. Or, at least, they can be. And, you and your partner may feel that you won’t be able to afford the wedding that you want to have, unless you have extra sources to contribute to it. Perhaps you are looking into asking your family to help with your wedding. Or, you are interested in taking out a loan.
However, there are many perks to paying for your own wedding, without the aid of others. The biggest of which is that you get to avoid the downsides of borrowing or asking for money. More on that later. Plus, when you are in control of the budget, you get to make all the choices without worrying about other’s opinions. More on that later, too. I’ll also mention that when you pay for your own stuff, it just feels great.
9 Reasons Why You Should Pay For Your Own Wedding
Look, the thing is that there are lots of reasons why you may not want to pay for your own wedding. Perhaps your parents really want to contribute, while still giving you and your partner free reign to make all the major decisions. Or, you have a grandparent who will feel pride in taking care of a certain aspect of your wedding. Or, you’re comfortable with debt.
However, there are still reasons why you may want to pay for your own wedding, and we’ll explore them in this post.
Let’s get into it!
1. YOU AND YOUR PARTNER CAN CHOOSE EVERYTHING
My dad used to have a saying. It was “you’re not independent until you’re financially independent”. And, it rings true when it comes to weddings.
If you pay for your own wedding, it’s all your money, and subsequently your decisions that get to be made. When no one else has given a financial contribution, you and your partner are totally free to curate the day you want. Any comment that come your way from your family (or friends), can be deflected away.
2. YOU CAN AVOID COORDINATING WITH OTHERS WHEN YOU PAY FOR YOUR OWN WEDDING
When someone else is helping to pay for your wedding, they may feel that they need to be included in all the pre-wedding events. And, that they have to sign off on what is chosen.
When you pay for your own wedding, you can just schedule all your events, without worrying about who else can be included and when they are available. Of course, if you want to invite your parents to your tastings, venue tours, or to try on wedding dresses, that’s totally fine. However, they may be more understanding if they can’t make it to some of the less fun events (like dress fittings, picking up suits, or registering), if they aren’t financially contributing.
3. YOU CAN AVOID ASKING FOR MONEY
Look, we all know that asking our families for money can be awkward and uncomfortable. I even wrote this post all about Asking Your Family To Help Pay For Your Wedding.
One of the great things about paying for your own wedding is you can totally avoid asking your family for their contribution. Depending on your family dynamics, this can be a very good thing. Some families get weird about money, even if they have it. Others may bring up times money has already been borrowed or given. Not having to have the conversation can make life easier.
4. YOU CAN HAVE THE WEDDING OF YOUR PREFERRED SIZE
These days, weddings are just not as big as they used to be. Not only is this because of the pandemic, but some couples want to have a smaller wedding in general.
If your family is helping to pay for your wedding, there may be pressure from them for you to invite certain people. This could increase the size of your wedding to a level that you and your partner are not comfortable with. And, it could also mean that you’re then unable to invite who you really want to be there. If you pay for your own wedding, the pressure may be off to invite anyone other than those you and your partner really care about.
5. YOU CAN TAKE MORE RISKS WITHOUT WORRY WHEN YOU PAY FOR YOUR OWN WEDDING
It’s entirely possible that you and your partner don’t want to have a traditional wedding. Or, maybe you just want to mix things up a little. If you accept money from others to pay for your wedding, they may tell you that you need to stick to traditions you don’t enjoy.
If you pay for your own wedding, you have more leeway to take risks. What does this look like? It could mean serving different types of dinner. Or, having your wedding at an unusual time of day. It could mean that you skip some traditions that just don’t suit you. Basically, you’ll have more freedom to change the typical wedding plan to match what you and your partner enjoy, without feeling like you’re disappointing anyone else.
6. IT FREES UP GIFTED MONEY FOR OTHER STUFF WHEN YOU PAY FOR YOUR OWN WEDDING
Now, this reason may seem a little counter-intuitive, but hear me out.
It’s entirely possible that your family does not help pay for your wedding, but instead gives you money as a wedding gift. If this is the case, and you paid for your own wedding, you’ll have the ability to use that gifted money for other things. This could be towards a new home, or to pay off school, buy a better car, or go on a trip with your new spouse.
7. IT’S A GREAT WAY TO BUDGET AND PLAN FIANCIALLY WITH YOUR PARTNER
A side benefit of paying for your own wedding, with your partner, is it’s a great opportunity for the two of you to work together.
Having a set budget for a project, like a wedding, will teach you a lot about each other. Managing money can be a big stressor, so the two of you will have to remain engaged, vigilant, and collaborative to make sure that your wedding doesn’t go over budget. It will be a good preview for your married life. Essentially, paying for your own wedding will let you and your partner practice money management together.
8. YOU AND YOUR PARTNER GET TO WORK TOGETHER
Along the same lines as managing the budget for your wedding with just your partner, when you pay for your own wedding, you and your partner can work together in general.
Now, I know that even if your family helps contribute, you’ll still get to work with your partner. However, if you are the only ones paying for your wedding, you’ll have less parental input. You and your partner will be the main sponsors, so you’ll have to plan and compromise together. My advice? Start with prioritizing what you both find the most important to spend money on. From there, work to make those things happen.
9. THERE’S LESS FAMILY DRAMA WHEN YOU PAY FOR YOUR OWN WEDDING
So, what’s probably the most major reason to pay for your own wedding? Well, of course, you’ll have less family drama.
With money, emotions can come into play a lot more easily. Add in some history, entitlements, disagreements on tiny (or big) details, and a lot of drama can ensue. If you take money out of the equation, yes, you may still have some family drama associated with your wedding. However, your family may become more accepting of what you choose to do. So take that for what it is.
CLOSING THOUGHTS
Look, there’s no right or wrong way to pay for your wedding. In some situations, someone may genuinely want to help pay for yours, and you’re okay with that. In others, you may find that you and your partner have it all covered and you don’t need help from anyone else. It’s all about what works best for you. However, there can be some perks to paying for your own wedding. Happy wedding planning!
More From Hummingbird Wedding Advice:
Planning To Sell Your Used Wedding Items?
9 Financial Conversations You Should Have With Your Partner
7 Wedding Budget Myths, Busted!
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