Ask Me Anything About Wedding Planning, Winter 2024

Ask me anything about wedding planning, winter 2024 edition!

Occasionally, I get a question that could be turned into a full blog post. When I do, I go ahead and write a full post. However, there are questions out there that really can be answered in a paragraph or two. They don’t need a full 1500-word blog post. That’s why sometimes I like to write “ask me anything” posts. They get to the point, and they get a lot of answers out there.

The thing is, when you’re planning a wedding, lots of questions can come up. In fact, there are no bad questions. And, every wedding is different. Just because something seems straightforward or easy to understand doesn’t mean it’s not worth going over. Quite the contrary. Plus, it’s fun to find out a bunch of answers at once, right? Right.

ASK ME ANYTHING ABOUT WEDDING PLANNING, WINTER, 2024

This post is an ask me anything about wedding planning, winter 2024 edition. There have been a few of these in the past, an example can be found here. This post is going to go over topics that have to do with lighting and draping, categorizing guests, including your partner, and DIY projects. It’s all over the place. Just warning you in advance.

Let’s get into it!

ARE LIGHTING AND DRAPING WORTH IT?

When it comes to having a super “extra” wedding, and places where you can really save on your budget, lighting and draping are definitely non-essentials. 

Lighting refers to all the accent lights around the room. The twinkle lights that twirl around a large indoor pillar. Or wrap around a fence near the dance floor. I have more details on lighting in this post. Draping is similar. It’s where you have drapes hung near a doorway or on a wall to give off a certain color or illusion.  Both can really transform a room or space.

The thing is, it can cost a lot of money and time to set up lighting and draping. In some spaces, you really need to hire a professional for it to look right. In fact, most venues will require you to hire a professional if you want to have lighting or draping. This can be a huge expense.

So, are lighting and draping worth it?

• Consider if your venue needs lighting and draping. Maybe it just needs one. Or neither. Lighting can be great to set a mood, or enhance a space. Draping can add drama or cover up something that is taking away from the space. Some venues need them, others don’t.
• If you find that your venue needs lighting or draping, look at your budget. The cost of labor, delivery, and effort can really stack up. However, lighting and draping can help you save on other décor.
• Ask your vendors if they offer lighting as part of their packages, if you feel you need it. Many photographers, venues, and DJ’s will supply lighting as part of their services (it may cost extra, though).
• If you’re totally on the fence with lighting or draping, consider your guests. Will the lights or drapes enhance their experience? If so, it may be worth the splurge. If not, skip them and move on.

IS IT OKAY TO PUT MY GUESTS IN DIFFERENT CATEGORIES?

I’m a big fan of categorizing guests. Maybe it’s the nerd in me.

Look, I like to stay organized. Hyper organized. I like to organize my organization, if you will. Our guest list was no exception.  

What’s the point, you might ask?  

Well, when it comes to your guests, communication is key.  Communicating where to be, when, what to wear, who is invited to what, when, where. . . and it can be overwhelming when you think about it. Yes, you can have mass communication to your guests via your invitation and wedding website, but what about any subgroups?  The folks who maybe need to know where the rehearsal dinner is?  Or what time to start getting ready with you the day of?  Or the folks who are maybe in the ever-controversial “B” list (side note – maybe let’s call the B-List the wish-list. These are the folks you Wish you can invite if your mandatory guests decline)? Or the folks who get save the dates, and the ones who don’t? 

Enter the organization of the organization, or the categorization of your guests. 

Below are categories I suggest for various guests: 

• Bridal Party: These guests will need to know about rehearsals, expectations of day-of coordination, what to wear, as well as expected attendance at showers, pre-wedding parties, etc.  You’ll want a method to keep them strait so you can keep them informed.
• Immediate Family: These guests will probably be at rehearsals, maybe involved in the wedding itself with speeches, special attire, and, again, you’ll want to keep them informed. 
• “Regular” Guest: The guests who may get save the dates, will definitely get an invite, and probably don’t need to know about the rehearsal and extra wedding events.  You could have subgroups in here for anyone who will be invited to showers and bachelorettes or engagement parties.  
• Out of Towners: Guests who should get a save the date, who may be invited to the rehearsal dinner or after wedding brunch, and who will most likely need help picking a hotel to stay at, and maybe transportation.  You can also look at this sub-group as one that is less likely to attend your wedding, due to the extra effort and costs of travel. 
• “B” or “Wish” List: Folks who you can keep track of as possible invites, but may not be in the first wave. These are the ones you are thinking of inviting, but due to cost or space limitations, you’ll need to make sure other guests don’t take up those resources. 

So there you have it – if you are inclined to organize your organization, have fun with this!  Otherwise, keep your regular guest list in whatever method works for you.

HOW DO I MAKE MY PARTNER FEEL INCLUDED IN MY WEDDING PLANNING?

I’ll share with you guys a little bit of manipulation. Now, this isn’t something that I use frequently on adults. I use it all the time on my kid, though. And in cases of weddings, where someone else wants to make the decisions and you are left wondering if you even get a say. . . this is a good technique.

Here’s the thing. There are some people who are happy having their mother, maid of honor, or even their partner plan their wedding. They are totally cool to sit back and show up the day of, seeing what was planned for them. If you are that person, then this ask me anything question isn’t for you.

But. . . what if you are the kind of person who really does want to plan their wedding? Who has a strong vision about what will work for them or not? And there is someone else who thinks they have a say, for whatever reason, and you aren’t always seeing eye to eye?

Here’s what you do.

First, do your research about the topic at hand. Maybe it’s the DJ to hire. Or the linens to order. Or the color of the bridesmaids dresses. Find two or three options for the item to decide on that you ARE OKAY WITH.  Any one of them would work. You might have your favorite, but you’re absolutely fine with the other choice(s).

Second, ask the other person their preference and let them pick which one they like the most. And go with that choice.

That’s it. This technique worked when I was planning my wedding with my now husband. It works with my co-workers. This technique works with my child (do you want the carrots or the broccoli? Oh, the carrots. Great!  You get the carrots! Good choice!).

Also, keep in mind that in the long run, many items at weddings don’t have a lasting effect. So please feel free to delegate items like the guest book, signage, and chairs to someone else who can take it and run with it. It’ll free you up to make more major decisions. 

HOW SHOULD I PLAN FOR DIY PROJECTS?

I think almost all brides (and maybe grooms) will at least get some motivation to consider getting crafty and create some items for their wedding. From designing their own invitations, centerpieces, to creating bouquets, and signage, or even making their own dress (YES!  Some talented people do this!), there always seems to be some hands-on element that appeals to each individual.

So, where do you start?

Well, first browse for inspiration. Look at Pinterest, Instagram, and wedding websites.  See if you can spot crafts that appeal to you and your talents.  When you find something you want to try out, map out your project.

1. List out all the materials you will need to purchase, and include where you intend to buy them from.
2. Determine the time it will take to complete this project. This is an important consideration because you may be up against the big event and you don’t want to stress the night before to complete something.
3. Figure out where you will store your creation.
4. Have a plan B in case the creation doesn’t meet your expectations. Creating something is a bit of a risk, so this would be your mitigation plan.
5. Price out the cost to buy materials and create, verses the cost to buy. Maybe it’s more expensive to create the item(s), but you really want to enjoy the process of doing so. That’s okay! 

Once you have your intended scope, schedule, and costs determined, you can go and enjoy the creation!  If you are using a hot glue gun, keep some ice water handy, and be as safe as possible if you’re using power tools, too.

For more tips on DIY projects, check out this post.

THOUGHTS ON ASK ME ANYTHING ABOUT WEDDING PLANNING, WINTER 2024

Friends, there are tons of questions out there about wedding planning, winter 2024. Feel free to send me an email, a comment, or an Instagram message if you have one. I’ll try my best to answer it and may even turn it into a blog post. Planning a wedding is no easy feat, and there are tons of answers out there for you. I’m here to help! Happy wedding planning!

More Answers To Questions From Hummingbird Wedding Advice

What Makes The Best Maid of Honor Speeches?

Should You Provide Wedding Guest Transportation?

Are These Hidden Wedding Venue Costs Worth It?

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