Ask Me Anything – Winter, 2023 - Hummingbird Wedding Advice

Another random ask me anything post, coming your way!

Once in awhile I like to do these kinds of posts. The ones that can answer questions that you may have in a couple of short paragraphs, rather than a long blog post. They hit the topics and move on. And, lots of questions get answered in the process.

The questions in this post are a mixture of crowd sourcing, social media scrolling, and common sense topics that should be addressed. Planning a wedding is no easy task. It’s important to feel like you can ask anything from those who may have a suitable answer for you. When it comes to planning and executing your perfect wedding day, it’s best to be prepared and use the resources you have.

Ask Me Anything – Winter, 2023

In this ask me anything post, I hope that some of you are able to find answers to your burning questions. Remember, you’re welcome to reach out to me if you have more questions. Leave a comment on this post, or direct message me on Instagram. I’ll happily respond if it helps you out.

Let’s get into it!

ASK ME ANYTHING: IS THERE A WAY TO PREDICT HOW MANY WEDDING GUESTS WILL SHOW UP TO MY WEDDING?

Friends, I have good news for you.

It is possible to predict how many wedding guests will show up to your wedding, well before you send invitations. All it takes is a little common sense and some math. This system may not be romantic, but if you like having a clear idea of how many people you’ll need to consider (or if you have room in your budget for more invitees), this should help!

To predict how many wedding guests will show up to your wedding, you need to follow the steps below, in a spreadsheet:

1. List out all invited guests and the number of people in each party in two columns. For example, “The Smith Family” would be in one column, and “4” would be next to it.

2. Assign a probability of 0%, 25%, 50%, 75%, or 100% to each party in a third column. See the notes below to determine the probability score you should give each guest.

- 0% – This percentage is for out of towners who are older, and haven’t traveled in years. This may also include those who live far away and have a newborn child, are sick, are cheap, or you aren’t that close to.
- 25% – This percentage is for folks who you would be surprised if they come. But there’s still a chance.
- 50% – The toss up’s. Your flakey cousin who says they want to join, but there’s a concert that weekend. The plus one that your sister says she is going to bring, if they are still together that day.
- 75% – Those who you know will make every effort to come, but may have some limitations.
- 100% – The DIE HARDS. Your close family who will never forgive themselves if they miss your wedding. Your MOH. The people who will never, ever, in a million years miss your wedding unless something catastrophic happens.

3. Take the number of people in each party and multiply it by the percentage.

- EXAMPLE: “The Smith Family”, 4 people, 100% probability = 4 people
- EXAMPLE: “Aunt Sally”, 1 person, 0% probability = 0 people
- EXAMPLE: Brother and “Plus One”, 2 people, 50% probability = 1 person

4. Add all the multiplied numbers together. This gives you a rough headcount.

5. Over time, adjust your calculation. You’ll eventually send invitations and receive back RSVP’s. As you get closer to your wedding, your number will be more and more accurate.

ASK ME ANYTHING: I’M GOOD WITH ASSIGNING TABLES FOR GUESTS TO SIT AT, BUT SHOULD WE ASSIGN SEATS?

Not every wedding has assigned seats at each table, but if you have the time and drive to do it, I say, why not?

Personally, I find that there are a lot of positives to assigning seats. Many guests appreciate it. Yes, it is a little extra work for you to think about who should sit next to whom at each table, but it’s not that much work when you’re already assigning tables.

Here are some of the great things that come from assigning seats:

Guests don’t have to think too hard about where they sit.
Guests get to sit next to friends/family/like minded folks.
It makes serving a sit down dinner easier for servers.

You get to make sure that the best tables and views are reserved for the folks you are the closest to, or traveled the furthest.
It’s easy to complete in Excel, with a paper and pen, or in many wedding applications.

At the very least, assign guests to tables. This will help make sure that guests aren’t stressed about where to sit. The major upside is that seating goes very smoothly, especially if your wedding is on the bigger side.

ASK ME ANYTHING: SHOULD WE HAVE A HEAD TABLE OR SWEETHEART TABLE?

Ah, the age old question. What’s best for you? The head table or the sweetheart table? Basically, when you sit down for a meal on your wedding day, who are you sitting with?

Let me clarify. Of course your new spouse will sit with you. But beyond that, will anyone else? Will it just be the two of you, or will you want to include additional folks in the mix? Let’s talk about what it all means to your experience.

The SWEETHEART Table

Oh, the name sounds so romantic, doesn’t it? And for good reason.

A sweetheart table is one where the newlyweds sit alone together. The benefit of it is that you get to have some privacy (while being in plain view of all your guests). You’ll be able to talk to each other, take in the moment, and try to eat some of that wedding food you paid so much money for.

If you opt to go the Sweetheart route, I think it’s an amazing choice. While it may not have the cool elegance of a long head table, it definitely makes up for it with experience.

The HEAD Table

This is where the choices really come into play.

A head table is one where the newlyweds typically sit in the middle, facing out, while some of their chosen guests sit beside them (also facing out). Everyone typically sits on the same side of the table and the look can be quite dramatic, depending on how many people are seated.

The nice thing about a head table is it allows for a great focal point during speeches. Because of their close proximity to the bride and groom, it’s easy for photographers to capture the glances and interaction. And, guests have a central place to look for the person speaking.

Here are some scenarios to consider with a HEAD table:

Scenario #1 – In most cases, members of the bridal party, like the maid of honor, best man, bridesmaids, and groomsmen, will sit to the sides of the newly married. I’ve seen it where the girls were on one side, and the guys the other. I’ve also seen it where there was a sort of “mix up” of genders. While the whole boy-girl-boy-girl look can be great for pictures, no matter what the seating arrangement is, I suggest that people sit next to those they enjoy conversation with.

Scenario #2 – An alternative to just the bridal party being at the head table, while still maintaining the “boy-girl-boy-girl” look, may be to allow members of the bridal party to sit at the head table with their respective dates next to them. This may improve their wedding experience, rather than having them sit with people they may not know that well.

The Verdict With Head Tables Verses Sweetheart Tables:

No matter what you opt to do during dinner, just go with your gut and stick to it. If you want the private moments with your new spouse, awesome. If you want to sit with your friends as well, excellent. And, if you want to mix it up and have some sort of bridal party/non bridal party inclusion, that’s great as well. You do what works best for your wedding and your experience.

ASK ME ANYTHING: HOW DO I DECIDE ON MY WEDDING SHOES?

I’ll admit, I spent a lot of time deciding what I was going to wear on my feet for my wedding.

I was going through a designer footwear phase, and really had big plans. There was some gorgeous Jimmy Choo’s, sparkly and glittery, and oh so pretty. However, when I got them home and walked around my tiny condo, I soon realized that I hated them. They were way too uncomfortable, and there was no way I could wear them to my wedding.

Then there was the Manolo Blahnik’s. You know the ones. The “Carrie” shoes. The ones that Big uses to “propose” to her in their amazing apartment? No? Well, if you watched Sex and the City religiously when you were in your 20’s, like me, then you would know what I am referring to. The shoes were a deep blue with an amazing glittery pendent on the top of them. They looked amazing on me. But yes, they too, were way too uncomfortable.

I also had a pair of black patent leather Christian Loubiton’s that I had treated myself to a few years prior. They fit my feet like a glove and were comfortable. However, they clashed with my gown, so they were not an option.

I ultimately decided to buy a pair of lacy white pumps from Designer Shoe Warehouse. They were a fraction of the price of the designer shoes, and they were amazing. They matched my lacy white dress, and I could actually walk and dance in them.

Thoughts On Wedding Shoes

Look, not all brides are going to want to wear heels. And that’s okay. If you’re more of a tennis shoe girl, find a way to “wedding” them up and rock them! One of my best friends wore cowboy boots at her wedding, and so did all of us bridesmaids. It was super cute. She got married at a ranch, and the boots fit the theme and her personality.

In the shoe department, don’t feel like you have to conform to some expectation of what to wear. If you like flats, or high heels, or sandals, or hate showing your toes off, make sure what you wear fits those things. Remember, your wedding, your way.

Just ensure you spend at least an hour walking around in the shoes you are thinking about wearing (preferably indoors, so you can return them, if needed), and feel confident you’ll be able to wear them all day. There’s nothing worse than sore feet on your wedding day.

For more tips on how to take care of your feet on your wedding day, check out this post.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Friends, I hope you liked this random ask me anything post. As I mentioned before, I write this blog for you. If you have any questions, feedback, or content ideas, send them my way. There’s no question that’s off limits. I’m happy to help, and appreciate your engagement with the blog. Happy wedding planning!