Biggest best man mistakes, coming right up. Yes, we’re going to talk about them.
Now, if you’re like me, you know a fair share of men. The men I know tend to be kind of laid back when it comes to their weddings. Yes, they care, but not as much as their partners. They want certain things, but are not overly concerned about not getting their way. And, they pick their best men based on relationships, and not necessarily on having the right person for the job. So to speak, anyways.
Because a lot of grooms tend to be laid back about their weddings, best man mistakes can arise. This isn’t totally on the best man. It’s about the groom, too. Laying out expectations, what should be done, and holding others accountable for what you want all plays into it. The thing is, with a little effort, even the most common best man mistakes can be avoided. This I can promise you.
The Top 10 Biggest Best Man Mistakes (That Should Be Easy To Avoid)
This post is going to lay out the top ten biggest best man mistakes that should be easy to avoid. As mentioned above, some of these mistakes can be best avoided if the groom is in communication with the best man. More can be avoided if the groom holds his best man accountable. Others are completely in the best man’s control. You’ll see.
Let’s get into it!
1. ACCEPTING THE ROLE WHEN THERE IS TOO MUCH GOING ON
I’m going to say a controversial statement here. There is more pressure to be a maid of honor than there is to be a best man.
I know, I know. Shocking statement, right?
Maids of honor have a lot going when they sign up to be in a wedding. There are bridal showers, finding a dress for the bride, finding a dress for themselves, décor creation, and emotional support. And no, best men do not typically have as much on their plate. However, just as is the case for maids of honor, there are time and effort expectations put on best men. Events to plan. Places to be. Decisions to be made. And, if the best man has too much going on with his professional or personal life, he may not have time for all that effort.
Accepting the role of best man when you simply have too much else going on is one of the biggest best man mistakes. Remember, it’s okay to say no, or level set what you can do with the groom if he asks.
2. NOT ASKING ABOUT THE WEDDING WHEN YOU SEE YOUR FRIEND
I’ve got another shocking statement for you. Women tend to talk more about their weddings than guys.
I know. Right? Crazy statements here.
Here’s the thing. If you are a best man, you need to talk to the groom about the wedding. Even if you’re not getting together for wedding-related things. If you are getting together for any reason, make sure the wedding and pre-wedding events come up as a topic of conversation. This is so you can stay “in the know” as a best man. And, so you can offer support to your friend as he navigates this chapter of his life.
3. NOT PLANNING THE BACHELOR PARTY
I can’t tell you how many grooms I know who had no bachelor party, or one that was just thrown together with very little planning or effort.
And, look, both scenarios are fine, if they work for the groom.
However, there should be some sort of effort, from the best man, to plan something. Even if it’s super mellow. Even if there are only a couple people there. I’m not saying that every bachelor party needs to end up like The Hangover. But what I am saying, is that not planning, or even trying, is a mistake. It does a disservice to the groom, and there’s a missed opportunity to have some fun as friends.
4. NOT ATTENDING PRE-WEDDING EVENTS
Best man mistakes can happen, even if you’re not there.
Best men are part of the wedding. And, this isn’t just on the wedding day. Best men are part of the wedding, including pre-wedding events. If the best man isn’t at pre-wedding events, like engagement parties, co-ed showers, rehearsal dinners, or other things he is invited to, it’s going to raise some eyebrows. At the very least.
Long story short, show up. Pay attention to dates and locations. And, if you can’t make it, make it incredibly clear why not.
5. NOT INFORMING YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER ABOUT IMPORTANT PRE-WEDDING EVENTS
You know how best men should be in communication with the groom? There is another important person they should be in communication with.
Their significant other.
Why are best man mistakes that involve not informing someone, who may not even be in the wedding, so important? Because your significant other can let you know if there are any risks to you attending certain things. Maybe there’s something else going on that day? Perhaps it’s someone’s birthday, or there’s another event? Also, some pre-wedding events involve bringing your significant other. This fact alone means that you should keep them informed.
It’s just a good practice, all around.
6. RENTING YOUR SUIT OR OUTFIT AT THE LAST MINUTE
Some of the biggest best man mistakes have to do with attire.
Look guys, attire doesn’t just show up. It takes some coordination. And, with that coordination, comes risk. So, if you are told what suit or tux to rent, and wait until the day before the wedding to get it, issues may come up. The suit may not fit. Or, it may have some sort of defect. Or, oh my, it could be out of stock.
So, get your clothes early. Try them on. Make sure they will work. Trust me.
7. GETTING DRUNK BEFORE THE WEDDING
This is the kind of best man mistake that will linger forever more.
If you are the best man, or a groomsman for that matter, do not, I repeat, do not, get drunk before the wedding. Yes, okay, a little to drink is fine. But, don’t get wasted. Don’t do shots. Maybe a beer or two. A drunk best man is a cliché, and no one likes a cliché. Just be respectful, and get sloshed after dinner, if you have to.
8. NOT WRITING OUT OR PRACTICING YOUR BEST MAN SPEECH, OR WORSE, FORGETTING ABOUT IT ALTOGETHER
Guys, if you are the best man, chances are you’ll be doing some public speaking in the form of a best man speech.
With that speech, you’ll want to be prepared. This means writing out your speech. Practicing it. Remembering that it will actually be a part of the wedding day. Look, you don’t want to embarrass yourself by not being prepped for the speech. And yes, if you aren’t prepared, you will embarrass yourself.
9. GETTING TOO ROWDY DURING THE WEDDING
This best man mistake is along the same lines as getting too drunk before the wedding, but goes a step further.
Whether you are drinking or not, you should avoid getting too rowdy during the wedding. Yes, it’s a celebration. And, you may be super happy for your friend. Plus, it’s fun to get a little wild. But, there’s a limit. And, you don’t want to reach it or go past it. If you are the type to get a little too rambunctious, and it may be destructive, plan to reel it in. Your wedding hosts will thank you.
10. NOT STAYING UNTIL THE END OF THE WEDDING TO HELP LOAD UP CARS AND END THINGS PROPERLY
Look, here’s the thing.
If you are the best man, there are expectations. You are a part of the wedding. And, your friends, you know, the ones getting married, may need some help from you. It’s not cool to just bounce when the party is over and go do your own thing. Stay. Help your friends load up stuff in cars. Make sure you’re not needed. And then go on to the next event. It’s the right thing to do, and part of your role.
THOUGHTS ON THE BIGGEST BEST MAN MISTAKES
Friends, there truly are some easy to avoid biggest best man mistakes out there. Really, all it takes is a little common sense and some ability to plan and be prepared. When it comes to being a best man, your best bet is to stay in touch with the groom, ask questions, follow through, and be in control of yourself during the wedding. It all boils down to that, and you’ll be the right guy for the job. Promise.
More On Grooms & Groomsmen From Hummingbird Wedding Advice
12 Tips For Grooms Getting Ready On Their Wedding Day
Why You May Want A Small Wedding Party
Did you find this post helpful, inspiring? PIN it to your Wedding Party Board on Pinterest!
Leave a Reply