Bridal Shower FAQ

I’ll caveat that this advice is geared towards a traditional bridal shower that can have lots of people gathered in one place.  NOT the kind that you’ll do during a global pandemic. Here is a post about Virtual Bridal Showers, and another one dedicated to Virtual Bridal Shower Activities.

I’ll get back to it now. . .

Let’s talk a little bit about bridal showers!

A bridal shower is supposed to be a fun opportunity to celebrate a bride, introduce friends and families to each other, and receive gifts. The setting can range from a casual living room to an elegant restaurant, and the there is only one rule – don’t throw one for yourself!

If you wish to have a shower and no one is really offering, ask your Maid of Honor to host, or a few of your friends to host one together.  Your mom, sister, or close relative could host it, too (though in some groups this is frowned upon).  Though you shouldn’t be the official host, you can absolutely give some input on things you want and don’t want at the celebration. 

BRIDAL SHOWER FAQ

Question: Who gets invited to a bridal shower?

The short answer is to invite people who you are close to, who are also invited to the wedding. Now, this last part is important. Do not, under any circumstances, do not EVER invite someone to your shower if you know they will not be invited to your wedding. This is so tacky. And it’s happened to me. Sigh. So tacky.  In general though, closer friends and family are invited to join in the celebration.  

Question: I feel weird opening presents in front of others. Do I have to?

It depends. You could avoid opening presents and just skip that part of the shower, unless your family or host will be clearly offended if you don’t do it. Or, consider asking guests to bring the gifts unwrapped, reducing waste and increasing time.

Question: Do I have to write Thank You cards?

Yes. Absolutely. 100%.  If you don’t send thank you cards in a timely manner it will definitely give off a vibe to your guests that I don’t think you want to give.  Thank you cards don’t have to be elaborate.  A simple “thank you for coming, I love the blender.  Can’t wait to see you at the wedding!” is all you really need to include.  So, please please please, send them.   

Question: I have a Host for my bridal shower, but they have never done this before.  Where do they start?

There is a first time for everything, right? Your Host will first need to decide a date/time, place, and get input from you on who to invite. After that, they will have to determine what food and drink will be provided, what activities will be available (if any), and how the party will flow. I find it helps to create a list of items to do, recruit some help, and determine a feasible and flexible timeline.

Question: Do I have to register before my bridal shower?

Your guests will definitely not want to show up empty handed.  Which means that if you don’t register for gifts they won’t have guidelines, leaving them to their own imaginations of what you will like.  This creates so much opportunity that you will receive something that isn’t exactly your taste. So, yes, if you want to receive certain gifts you will need to provide some details. However, you do have other options if you really don’t need anything. See the next question.

Question: What if I don’t need anything or don’t care to receive gifts?

Consider an alternative to traditional shower or registry gifts. For example, I asked all my guests to bring a bottle of wine for me to share with my husband at a certain point in our wedding (anniversary, Valentine’s Day, first fight, ect). I ended up with lots of bottles and it was awesome. If wine isn’t your thing, consider gift cards to restaurants, lingerie, books, or something else that may mean something to you and your significant other.

Question: How do we send out invites?

This can range from a Facebook or evite invitation to a fancy invitation received in the USPS mail. Really, it depends on the budget and how much effort your host wants to put into it.

Question: What do I wear to my bridal shower?

Often brides will wear something white or light colored, but this is your shower! Wear what you like! Consider the time of year and location, as well as how comfortable you will be.  I would error on dressing up compared to your guests as these types of events often have lots of photos and you will be the center of attention.

Question: Should my fiancé come?

If it’s a co-ed shower, absolutely your fiancé should come. Your fiancé should probably come if you’re in a same-sex relationship. If you’re heterosexual, I’ve seen it where the fiancé is there for a bit at the beginning, or they help open gifts or load up at the end of the shower. Don’t feel like your fiancé can’t be there at all if they are willing to help and be there with you.

Question: When should my bridal shower be held compared to when my wedding is?

For the most part showers are two to five months before the wedding. There are no hard and fast rules, here. Sometimes guests you want present can only come for one event and a shower can even be held a day before the wedding so everyone is included.  Pick a date that works best for you, and make it work. 

Question: How long should the bridal shower be?

Usually 2-3 hours is a good amount of time to allot.

Question: What activities should we do?

This depends on the bride and host. I’ve been to silly showers where we pinned certain body parts on a man (OKAY, I hosted that shower). . . and showers where we played no games at all and had an elegant lunch. And everything in between. My own personal shower had advice cards, date suggestions, and also coordinated games where guests played trivia games about me and made wedding dresses out of toilet paper. Activities can be a fun break for guests but they aren’t always conducive to the event. Depending on your vision, communicate with your host about what you want guests to do.

So there you have it, friends.  The best piece of advice I can give you about your bridal shower is to enjoy your friends and family, take lots of photo’s, and have as much fun as you can.  

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