Dress planning tips for the mother of the bride, or groom, coming right up!
Weddings can be a big deal for the mothers. You know the mothers I’m talking about. The mothers of the ones getting married, of course. Not only is it a huge occasion that they may have imagined for their kids since they were newborn babies, but weddings are an event. An event that comes with traditions, expectations, and of course, the drive to look good.
When it comes to dressing up, many mothers of the couple getting married may need some tips. This is totally fair. Depending on the mom, of course, they probably want to look incredible at the wedding but not steal the show. They want to dress appropriately, but also have a level of elegance and comfort. They want to match the wedding but not blend in too much. In short, there’s a lot to think about.
Dress Planning Tips For The Mother Of The Bride (Or Groom!)
This post is going to share with you dress planning tips for the mother of the bride, or groom. Now, this is not a style blog. I’m not going to go into the best dresses for your body type and age. That may be a post for another day. This post is all about a planning strategy. One that will allow you to have a calm experience and also find the dress that will be perfect on the big day.
Let’s get into it.
LOOK FOR DRESSES THAT MATCH THE WEDDING THEME OR COLORS
First things first. Let’s talk about the wedding itself.
Now, this is something that my own mother-in-law first brought up to me (hi, Rita!). She wanted to wear a dress that matched the wedding. One that would compliment what the bridesmaids were wearing, the bouquet colors, and of course, what my own mother was wearing. At first I thought it didn’t matter. I really didn’t mind if she wore an “off wedding” color if it was a color that suited her. However, as time went on, I realized that she was right. Photos would be better if she matched with the theme.
The takeaway here is clear. Let the theme of the wedding drive your style. Of course, don’t wear a dress that is not going to work for you. But, be flexible when it comes to colors, cuts, and fabric.
WHEN TRYING ON DRESSES, TAKE PHOTOS AND SAVE THE LINK IF YOU FIND IT ONLINE
When you are the mother of someone getting married, it’s important that you keep track of your dress options. Not only so you can solicit opinions later (more on that next), but also so you can find your options easily.
So, if you go dress shopping, take photos. Photos of the dress on the hanger. Photos of the dress while you’re wearing it. A simple mirror selfie type photo will suffice. And, additionally, if you are shopping online, save the links to the dresses that are the most appealing to you. This will help you share those options with others via text or email, and also allow you to find your options later on. No one wants to shop online for dresses, identify a great option, and then be unable to find it later.
CHECK WITH THE ENGAGED COUPLE BEFORE COMMITTING
If no other tip in this post on dress planning tips for the mother of the bride stays with you, let this one stick.
Before you commit to a dress, check in with the couple on your choice. As I mentioned before, you can send them photos of you wearing your options. Or, send them links so they can see what the dresses look like. Of course, one person in the couple may not have a strong opinion. This is fine. Maybe neither of them care what you wear. However, it is still courteous to check.
Once you know their opinions, take their advice. Don’t go rogue here. It’s their wedding, let them have some say in how you dress (even if you are the mom!).
BE SURE TO DRESS FOR THE WEATHER
Now, I know that moms are seasoned pros when it comes to dressing for the weather. For years you had to dress yourself, and your children, appropriately.
That said, let me remind you to look into what the climate will be on the wedding day. This may mean that a sleeveless dress on a summer day, with a light pashmina will work better than a dress with long sleeves. Or a dress with heavier fabric will be more practical for a winter wedding. Find out the fabric that the bride and bridesmaids will wear, too, to help guide you.
ALLOW FOR ENOUGH TIME FOR ALTERATIONS
No good dress planning post will be complete without a tip regarding alterations.
Now, I’ve written about dress alterations before, and you can find that post here. Alterations can sneak up on you. They can take time, and they can cost money. No matter how confident you are in the dress you are buying, you should plan on alterations, just in case.
To be safe, identify a good alteration specialist ahead of when you receive or buy your dress. And, allow for the alterations to be complete at least one week before the wedding. Some alterations can take an hour, others can take weeks, so plan accordingly.
DON’T WORRY ABOUT WHAT YOU “SHOULD” WEAR
Sometimes mothers of the bride and groom think that they need to dress in a “matronly” way. I’m here to say that you don’t have to.
Look, if you are more comfortable “dressing your age”, go for it. We all have our style. However, if you’d like to wear something a bit “young”, form-fitting, or with a “wow” factor, you should go for it. As long as you’re comfortable, and the dress has the blessing of those getting married, you’re good. My own mother was a knock out at my wedding in a form fitting red dress she looked amazing in. Was it the typical mother of the bride look? Not really. But I didn’t care because she looked great.
REMEMBER THAT NO ONE GETS “DIBS” ON FIRST PICK
I will try to tread this tip with compassion and empathy.
Sometimes, when it comes to mothers whose children are getting married, there can seem like there’s a level of competition. Meaning that if one mom chooses her dress first, the other has to follow suit on a similar dress, or one that will not clash entirely with it. And, some people may believe that the mother of the bride is somehow entitled to the “first dib”.
Look, friends, this is not the case.
No mom should have first choice just because of the role their adult child plays in the wedding. The key here is that the outfits of those who will be in family photos do not clash with each other. Complimentary colors and styles are key. Everyone should be comfortable with what they wear, and everyone should look great.
So, the tip here is to work together instead of racing to be “first”.
PAY ATTENTION TO THE LENGTH OF OTHER’S DRESSES
Alright, along with working together, dress planning tips for the mother of the bride should include addressing the length of your dresses.
Usually, the wedding dress will be quite long. However, bridesmaids dresses vary in length. Most weddings have a uniformity to the length of the wedding party’s dresses, and that length may be something to consider when you pick your own dress out. Of course, if you are more comfortable with a certain length that the bridesmaid dresses are not, and the couple getting married don’t mind, go for what you prefer. However, the photos will look more cohesive if every dress is relatively the same in length.
HAVE FUN WITH THE EXPERIENCE
My biggest tip here? Don’t stress about this part of being involved in a wedding.
Weddings can bring out the best in us, and they can also bring out a ton of stress. Yes, it may seem like a big deal to pick the perfect dress to wear to your kid’s wedding, but it’s not the biggest deal in the world. Enjoy the process. Chances are you will only do it one time, for this child. So, take your time. Try different styles. Seek opinions. You will find the one, and you will look incredible.
THOUGHTS ON DRESS PLANNING TIPS FOR THE MOTHER OF THE BRIDE (OR GROOM!)
There really is no right or wrong way to go about dress planning for the mother of the bride, or groom. The key is that the couple of the wedding, and the mom, both agree on the dress. If you have a child getting married who has no opinions, that’s great. Follow my tips on matching the wedding and finding out what others are wearing to help guide your choice. If your kid has strong opinions, listen to them. They know what they want their wedding photos to look like, and this is something you can give them. Happy wedding planning!
More On Wedding Dresses From Hummingbird Wedding Advice
9 Things You Should Do Before You Put On Your Wedding Dress
Pro’s & Con’s of Renting Your Wedding Dress
All About Wedding Dress Alterations
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