Eloping Advice: What To Do & What Not To Do

Do you need eloping advice? Tips on what to do, and what not to do? This is the post for you!

Gone are the days when eloping was a “bad thing”. These days, many couples opt to elope. It doesn’t carry the same “hush hush” stigma that it used to have. Eloping is not a sign that a couple “had” to get married due to a pregnancy or in secret because their families didn’t approve. Nowadays, eloping is a sign that a couple had their reasons and having a small and simple wedding, with minimal guests, meant something to them.

Though there is less judgement now with eloping, and it’s still pretty common, there are some major things you should do, or not do, if you choose to elope. These do’s and don’ts are meant to help you have an amazing wedding day experience, and to be realistic about how others will treat your wedding if you keep it quiet and simple. More on both of those things later.

This post is going to give you eloping advice. It will share what you should do if you elope, and what you should not do. The point of this post is to help you enjoy your wedding day if you elope, and to give you inspiration on how to make it a memorable experience for you, your partner, and any guests who may be there. One key benefit of eloping is it’s simplicity and how low-stress wedding planning to be. Let’s keep it that way, shall we?

Let’s get into it!

ELOPING ADVICE: WHAT TO DO

This section will let you know the things you should do if you’re planning to elope. None of the tips in this section are meant to add to your to-do list, or cause stress. They are all meant to help make your wedding day experience special, allow for some “regular” wedding day elements to enter if they appeal to you, and to make sure you’re using the right tools to minimize stress. Take or leave what works for you.

MAKE IT SPECIAL

The number one eloping advice is to make your day special.

The reason you’re eloping is a personal one. It may be budget. Or you don’t want to “deal” with planning a wedding. Maybe you have familial relationships and things are just easier this way. Chances are, though, that you’re not choosing to elope because you don’t care about your wedding. Chances are that you care a lot. So, make it special.

This means planning a day that works for you. Being very intentional about how that day is spent, who is with you, what you wear (more on that later), and how the day goes. Take some time to visualize your wedding day, decide what you want, and then take action to go for it.

SET A BUDGET

One of the main benefits of eloping is that you’ll save money. Keeping things simple, and with minimal guests, means that your wedding will be less expensive, naturally.

It does not mean that you shouldn’t set a budget, though.

Why bother setting a budget when you know you’re not going to spend a lot on your wedding? Well, for starters, it holds you accountable. Budgets mean that you’re paying attention, tracking, and making sure you don’t go overboard. Plus, budgets give us peace. So create one, even if you are eloping.

Need help creating a budget? Check out this post.

HIRE VENDORS WHO ARE MEANINGFUL TO YOU

Even small weddings may need vendors. Though it may seem like overkill, you should hire vendors who are meaningful to you.

When I think of small weddings, vendors like an officiant, photographer, and perhaps a florist or hair and makeup artist come to mind. You may want to skip the DJ or band, but I’ll leave that up to you. The same goes for catering, as you may want to go to a restaurant after your wedding, or order some take out, not needing a large catering spread. Take some time to think about the actions you want a professional to take care of, and then go seek the right vendor for that action.

GET DRESSED UP

Simple eloping advice here. Dress like you’re getting married.

Yes, you’ll want to make sure you and your fiancé are comfortable. Maybe dressing up isn’t your style. However, you should still dress like you’re getting married. No, you don’t need a large ball gown and tux. But you should be at least a step dressier than you usually wear. Make yourself feel like you’re getting married, since you’re going through the process of a wedding anyway.

SKIP THE GUILT

For some, eloping means that they are disappointing someone. Perhaps it’s a friend or family member who is not invited. Or it’s themselves, and their past vision for what their wedding would look like.

I’m here to tell you to let it go.

Weddings are not always what we thought they were going to be. Not our own weddings, and not the weddings of our friends and family. Sometimes things just turn out different. And, it’s okay. You have your reasons for eloping. And they are valid. Forgive yourself for any guilt, and be okay with your situation.

INVITE THOSE YOU ARE CLOSEST TO

Eloping advice, when it comes to guests.

You can still have them.

Eloping does not mean that no one can come. It means that your wedding is small and simple. So, invite others. Send invitations, if you have time. Make it special for all involved. If you want certain people there with you when you get married, and your partner agrees, create a guest list. Don’t feel like you can’t just because you’re technically eloping.

KNOW YOUR TRAVEL LOGISTICS, IF APPLICABLE

Some people decide to elope while traveling. If this is you, don’t skimp on the logistics.

This means you know what to expect when you get to your destination. That you have updated travel paperwork. That you’ve looked into the requirements to get married there. You should know where you are staying, and how you will get around once you are there. Not knowing these things, and stress will ensue. And no one wants stress around their weddings, even if they are eloping.

COMMUNICATE THE PLAN

Some people like the thought of eloping because they don’t like the thought of communicating.

I’m going to give you some eloping advice here. You still need to communicate the plan.

Even if it’s just to your fiancé and your officiant, because they are the only ones who will be at your wedding. You still need to create a plan and make sure that those who need to know it, know it. If you have guests, or a maid of honor, or vendors, or whomever, tell them the plan. You don’t get a pass just because you’re eloping.

EAT GOOD FOOD

Okay, yeah, you want to keep things simple catering-wise when you elope. This does not mean that you can’t eat good food.

What does this look like when you have a simple wedding? Maybe it’s dinner at a nice restaurant. Or takeout from somewhere delicious. Perhaps you hire a chef to cook for you at your hotel or home. Just make sure the food is good. Your wedding day is not the time to “eat whatever”. Make it special.

ELOPING ADVICE: WHAT NOT TO DO

Alright, now that we’ve talked about eloping advice regarding what you should do, let’s talk about what not to do when you elope. Keep in mind, some of these tips have to do with feelings and mindset about eloping. They may not apply to you. Others are much more practical. You’ll be able to tell the difference as you get to them.

DON’T FEEL PRESSURE TO HAVE A BIG WEDDING

Okay, mindset advice number one. Don’t feel pressure to have a big wedding.

There are many, many weddings that were once started with the idea of eloping. Big weddings where the couple wanted to keep things small but were pressured to make things big. Maybe they were pressured by family, friends, or just society. No matter the reason, the pressure is real.

Resist the urge to give in, if you want to elope. Stick to your guns. Keep in mind you can always have a big party later on.

DON’T KEEP THE FACT THAT YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED FROM THOSE WHO SHOULD KNOW

When you have a small wedding, it may feel strange to talk about it with others. Maybe you feel guilty or awkward sharing that you are getting married and certain people are not invited. Or you don’t want to make a big deal about it, in general. While all this is valid, don’t hide that you’re getting married.

What does this mean? This means that you should share with others that you are getting married, if they are the kind of people in your life who should know. Don’t feel like because you are eloping, this has to be a secret. Let others in on your plans. Yes, this may open the door for pressure to have a different wedding than you want. If so, see the tip above. Just be open about your life, and be unapologetic about it. Others will appreciate the honesty.

DON’T FEEL LIKE YOU NEED TO KEEP IT SECRET AFTER YOU’RE MARRIED

Okay, so maybe you’ve already gotten married. The elopement is over. Perhaps not everyone knew you got married and now it feels extra weird to share.

Just do it anyway.

Tell others you got married. This does not have to be weird. Maybe you put something online, if that is your style. Or you send out little postcards announcing your marriage. Maybe you make some calls. Just be up front. The longer you wait to share, the more hurt feelings there will be from others later on.

DON’T FORGET TO MAKE IT LEGAL

This is eloping advice that applies to everyone. Don’t forget to make your marriage legal.

Just because things are small, does not mean you get to skip this step. Unless, of course, you aren’t into a legal marriage. If this is the case for you, you do you. However, if you’re intending to be legally married, make it legal. Look up the requirements where you live, and where you plan to get married, if they are not the same place. Talk to your officiant about the requirements. Make it happen.

DON’T EXPECT GIFTS

One thing about small weddings, and eloping, is that you aren’t going to get a lot of gifts. And, this is probably okay with you.

Just saying, though, that if you intend to elope and still create a registry, chances are you aren’t going to see a lot of traction on that registry. Yes, some people will send you some money after you get married. And, some may even send you gifts. But not everyone you share the news with will. This is okay, because it’s a trade off from not throwing a big wedding.

THOUGHTS ON ELOPING ADVICE: WHAT TO DO AND WHAT NOT TO DO

Friends, I hope this eloping advice was useful to you. If you need more resources, check out this post on making your small wedding special. When it comes to eloping, do what works for you. Remember, though, that you may experience pressure or guilt trips from those around you. Be clear about your vision, budget, and plans. Be honest with those who should know what’s going on. You’ve got this. Happy wedding planning!

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