Engaged Over The Holidays? Here’s Your Survival Guide!

Are you one of the lucky ones who is engaged over the holidays? First off, congratulations! Holidays are an exciting time to be engaged. However, being engaged over the holidays can add a bit of nuance and stress. Luckily, this survival guide will help you make the most of this special time!

Maybe you got engaged during the holidays this year, or you are in the midst of your engagement. Either way, the holidays can be a tricky time to navigate family, discuss your wedding, and get used to being a fiancé. Oh, and we should also mention, plan a wedding at the same time. It’s enough to make most people’s head spin.

The great news is, you can prepare yourself to not only survive, but thrive this holiday season while enjoying your engagement. All you need is to have a little intention and a game plan. After looking through this “engaged over the holidays survival guide”, you should feel fully prepared to tackle all the challenges that may come up. Consider it my holiday and engagement gift to you!

Engaged Over The Holidays? Here’s Your Survival Guide!

This post is going to share with you all my tips on being engaged over the holidays. It will encourage you to work with your partner to set expectations, and be on the same page. It will also give you tips on conversations to avoid, or boundaries to set, with your family or anyone else you may be spending the holidays with. In essence, it will prepare you for how this holiday season may be different, and help you set the tone for future holidays in your marriage.

Let’s get into it!

GO OVER ANY NEW HOLIDAY EXPECTATIONS WITH YOUR PARTNER

Like it or not, engagements mean that you are about to marry into a whole new family.

While expectations may have been fluid when you were dating your partner, a confirmed future marriage can mean that others have a new vision for how you are going to celebrate the holidays. It’s important to discuss holiday expectations with your partner so there are no surprises as you get close to the actual holidays.

This may mean that you’ll have to compromise with your partner. You may have to pick a holiday to spend with your family, or one with theirs. Or, you and your partner can talk about what works best for you both and go from there. Be sure to factor in what is important to your partner, and ask them to factor in what’s important to you. It will help you each decide, together, how you will spend the holidays. Plus, it will help set the precedent on how you experience the holidays once you’re married.

AVOID CONFIRMING ANY WEDDING DETAILS YOU’RE NOT SURE ABOUT

If you’re going to see family over the holidays, you’re bound to get questions about your wedding. Be careful what you share with the broader group.

Of course, share what you’re comfortable with. This may mean confirming when and where the wedding is. Or any of the other details. However, don’t confirm anything with anyone unless you’re totally sure it will be received the right way. For example, don’t agree to invite just anyone to the wedding, unless your guest list is already set and vetted. It can set you up for hurt feelings or hard decisions later on if you jump the gun too soon on these sorts of things.

And, while we’re on the topic of being careful what you say about your wedding, be careful when you receive advice. I know this is a wedding advice blog and I dole out opinions all week long, but all advice (even mine!) should be taken with a grain of salt. You know what will work for your wedding, and what won’t.

SCHEDULE SOME SPECIAL TIME ALONE WITH YOUR PARTNER

The holiday season can be hectic and overscheduled. Because of this, if you are engaged over the holidays, you should take some time to be alone with your partner.

What does this look like?

Well, it can be actually spending the holidays with your partner. Or, you go out on a date. Or away for a night or two. It can be whatever works for you and your schedule. All you need to do is make sure you have time alone, without pressure to impress or be with others. Take that time to enjoy each other. Talk about the future, and what you’re looking forward to. This is a special time of year to be engaged, so make the most of it!

DON’T BE AFRAID TO START NEW TRADITIONS

Getting engaged, and getting married, can be a big reset on traditions.

Family traditions that we grow up with can mean a lot of pressure to keep them going as we age. If you are engaged, and subsequently married, it can give you permission to change things up. It’s the perfect time to start new traditions with your partner. The new traditions can be as simple or involved as you want them to be – the point is that they are authentic to you and your relationship.

GIFT EACH OTHER SOMETHING SPECIAL, BUT BEWARE OF OVERSPENDING

It can be tempting to spoil your fiancé over the holidays, but keep in mind there’s likely a big price tag with that wedding you’re planning.

Take some time to think of a really thoughtful gift for your partner this season. It can even double as an engagement gift. However, because you are likely saving for wedding over your engaged holiday season, make sure you have the budget for whatever you spend. The gift should be thoughtful, and memorable, but not take away from your overall wedding budget.

GIVE GIFTS AS A COUPLE, WHENEVER IT MAKES SENSE

One of the perks of being engaged over the holidays is that you can start gifting as a couple, if you haven’t already been doing so.

Giving one gift from both you and your fiancé is a great way to stay a united front and also save a little money. This is an especially good strategy if you have little kids to shop for, as they will be so excited to receive something. Gifting as a couple also sets the precedent on how things are going to be going forward, and this is what your families should expect.

PUT WEDDING PLANNING ON THE BACK BURNER UNTIL THE NEW YEAR

I’m a big fan of taking breaks, especially when you’re working hard.

Unless your wedding planning is way behind schedule, or you’re getting married in January, chances are that you can take a breather from wedding planning during the holidays. Now, if you find that you have extra time to plan when the holidays hit, go for it. However, if you need it, take the rest. Enjoy your time away from it all, and don’t stress about wedding planning being yet another thing you need to take care of right now. In all likelihood, you can get back into it in January with extra energy and gusto.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Friends, being engaged over the holidays is both special and stressful. You may find yourself in awkward situations if you’re not careful. However, you have a unique opportunity to set new traditions during this time. Don’t be afraid to enjoy yourself and pause wedding planning for a little bit. The goal here is to be present with your partner. Happy wedding planning!