If you have to cancel the wedding you’ve been planning, know that this is a situation no one really wants to find themselves in.
Different from postponement or eloping, some couples decide that it’s best to cancel the wedding altogether. Maybe they have decided that getting married isn’t for them. . . or maybe they are breaking up. If you find yourself in the latter category, all I have to say to you is that it’s better to end things before you get married than after. Once your married it’s infinitely more difficult to break up, and that much more stressful and heartbreaking.
However, you’re now going through a difficult time and there is business to take care of if you have to cancel the wedding.
HOW TO CANCEL THE WEDDING
1. NOTIFY YOUR VENDORS
There are a bunch of steps to this that really need to be followed closely, so I’ll lay them out for you in the proper order.
- Make a list of everyone you have a contract with.
- Review all the contracts before making your calls. This is essential in case the vendor references the contract in your conversation, or states something that is incorrect. Be prepared.
- Call the vendors with the end goal of being polite, professional, and see if there is a way to get your deposit or a portion back. This is where seeing the contract comes in handy. Some vendors will not budget on this. Others will be more willing to give you a refund. However, deposits exist for a reason and there is a chance you will not get the refund. It doesn’t hurt to ask and try, though.
- Follow up all calls with an email so you can get the agreement of the new arrangement in writing.
- Once you have called all vendors you have a contract with, check to see if there are any vendors you booked that you don’t have a contract with. Perhaps you have a friend of a friend who was going to do your hair, or something like that. Or someone you were meeting with and talking to, and now you’re not. Send them a text/email/call and let them know you won’t be proceeding. You’ll want to do this because they may have the date booked for you, and at some point they will contact you to see what the logistics are. And you don’t want to be blindsided when that happens.
2. TELL YOUR GUESTS
If you’ve already sent out invitations, you could send out mass texts or emails. You could have a close family member or friend do this part. Just take your list of invitees and make sure each one is notified that the event is cancelled.
You don’t have to share the reasons why. Let’s be clear about that. All anyone needs to know is that the wedding will not happen, so don’t make plans, and don’t send a gift.
If you haven’t already sent the invitations, or save the dates for that matter, I would only call/email/text those who you have told would be invited to the wedding. If you’re up to it, you could make a social media announcement. But just let those who need to know, know.
3. TIME FOR RETURNS
Get together anything you’ve bought for the wedding that can be returned, and any gifts you have received that can be returned. If you have received gifts and cannot return them, offer to reimburse all the guests who provided those gifts for you. This is the right thing to do. You’ll probably have guests who will not take your money, but they will all appreciate the offer. For anything that cannot be returned, look into options to re-sell, or donate so they are not a total waste (unless you plan on using the items).
4. PICK UP THE PIECES
This is the mental part of it and I have no real advice to give you other than take it one day at a time. Maybe you split up and it’s amicable. It may be that you decided that a big wedding isn’t the way you guys want to go, but you’ll still stay together. Perhaps you broke up and you’re devastated. No matter what, it’s a change in plans, and not an easy thing to decide or endure. So be kind to yourself.
More From Hummingbird Wedding Advice:
How To Deal With Wedding Planning Stress
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