Wedding planning stress is easily the worst part of being engaged.
The good thing is that for the most part, being engaged is fun. You are excited, and you get to imagine a long term future with the person you love. Plus, some parts of wedding planning are great. Looking at venues, tasting food menus, and picking out wedding dresses can all be really enjoyable. However, there is a downside to wedding planning that can cause a lot of stress. Making a million decisions, spending money you might not have, and introducing the opportunity for family drama can all add up.
It’s important for you to know that it is possible to manage wedding planning stress with some strategies and intention. You just have to work them into your life. If any of these ways to manage stress feel good, you may even keep them going long after the wedding is over. By being intentional, planning ahead, and making certain activities a priority, you can reset your mind and get back to enjoying the wedding planning process.
How To Deal With Wedding Planning Stress
From how you treat your body and mind, to how you incorporate other people, and when to reach out for help, this post should help you with handling wedding planning stress.
Remember, not every suggestion will work for everyone, so do what speaks to you. Don’t be afraid to try new things, either. You never know what will work with your stress level. Suggestions that were never appealing before might just become your savior to deal with stress going forward.
Let’s explore the ways to manage wedding planning stress:
Self Care
The first way to handle wedding planning stress is to take care of your body and mind.
Though you may feel you don’t have a lot of time in your life for these things, it is important to try. Keep in mind that many of these suggestions really don’t take much time at all. In fact, for just a couple minutes a day you can hit them all if you wanted to. It doesn’t take much effort to help your mindset, if you’re ready to try.
Meditation
Some people believe that you need to meditate both morning and night, every single day, for twenty minutes a pop, to reap it’s benefits. I’m here to tell you that isn’t true. You can spend as little as 10 seconds a day meditating and still feel better after it. It doesn’t have to be a huge commitment, but it does help if it’s consistent.
There are lots of ways to incorporate mediation into your day. You can make a choice to spend three minutes of breathing and relaxing before you get out of bed each morning. Or, before you go to sleep at night. You could spend two minutes meditating before you start your work day, or before you start your commute. Setting a timer for a specific time of day also helps. For example, you could decide that every day at noon you will meditate for a few minutes, no matter what.
If you aren’t sure where to start, try out Headspace or Calm to help you. They will walk you through timed exercises and techniques. From what I know about meditation, there really is no wrong way to do it if you focus on your breathing for a period of time. As you get better at it, you can also focus on sensations, sounds, a mantra, or whatever works for you, but starting with your breath works for most beginners.
For more details on meditation, and how to start, check out this post from A Lady Goes West.
Exercise
Yes, you’ve heard this from me before. Exercise is essential to self care. And you should be doing it.
Not everyone enjoys exercise. And there is good reason for it. It takes time and effort. Exercise doesn’t always feel good while you’re at it. Plus, it can be difficult to figure out what you like and where you will do it. My suggestion with a beginner to exercise is to start reasonable and start small. Because once you get into it, and start an exercise routine, your stress levels will go down. I promise.
If you aren’t sure where to start with exercise, think about what you’ve enjoyed in the past. It may be a dance class, yoga, going for a run, or playing tennis with another person. Whatever it is, try and make that happen in your life on a regular basis. Just like with meditation, set a time and commit to it. Make plans with a friend if you need a buddy. Make the effort to get dressed and get started. Honestly, for most people, once you get into the exercise it’s easy to keep going until the end. The getting there part is the hardest.
You may feel like you don’t have time to incorporate exercise into your everyday routine with all the wedding planning you have to take care of. Try and find three, 30 minute blocks a week to start with. They can be at any time of day that works for you, and they can be for any exercise you enjoy. Just block off the time and get moving. Your stress levels will decrease just by doing this.
Socialize
Alright, most of us spent the better part of the last year not socializing, so this may be seem like a strange suggestion.
However, I think if you are experiencing wedding planning stress you need to socialize more than ever. Grabbing some coffee with a friend, scheduling a virtual wine date, or going out to lunch are all great ways to vent and gather some support from a listening ear. You’ll get to express some of your stress to another person who can hopefully put it in perspective. Plus, hearing about the lives of other people can also help you get out of your own head and put your wedding planning stress in a new light.
Veg Out
When in doubt, veg out.
Now, let’s not go crazy with this. No one is saying to lay on the couch day after day to manage stress. Everything in moderation, friends. One effective way to deal with stress is to simply relax. This means letting it all go and putting zero pressure on yourself to accomplish anything for a set amount of time. Notice I mentioned a set amount of time. Let yourself enjoy a night off from wedding planning every Saturday night. Or, whatever works for you. Just give yourself guilt-free permission to ignore the planning part, and simply enjoy it doing nothing.
Prioritize
It’s pretty easy to get overwhelmed when you have to do a million things at once.
This is where prioritizing your tasks comes in. If you are able to break down tasks in to manageable chunks, it will help alleviate some wedding planning stress. For example, say you have to find a florist, a photographer, and a caterer. Start with the one that you care the most about, or who you think will be in the most demand, such as a photographer. Pick a day where you will focus just on finding photographers in your area and reaching out to them for availability. Don’t spend time that day working on anything else, until you are able to complete this task.
As you go about your wedding planning, keep up this practice so you aren’t wasting time on the items that you can take care of later. This will help you get the most important tasks completed first, and then you can move on from there.
Delegate
The whole thing about weddings is that you’re not doing them alone.
When you start to get stressed out, delegate to your support people. I know this can be hard for many of us who love to stay in control of everything. However, there is a trick to it. Delegate the items that you really don’t care about, or give guidelines to the person you are asking to help. For example, I asked my fiancé to take care of hiring the band for our wedding. I already knew the band who I liked, but I didn’t want to deal with the contract, negotiations, scheduling, or logistics.
Luckily my fiancé was able to handle all of that with just some quick updates to me about how it was going. And, I was able to focus on the stuff I actually enjoyed.
Get Organized
I can’t get anything done if there’s a mess to sort through, and chances are you are the same way.
When it comes to wedding planning, there are a million tools out there to help you stay organized. Some of them may be helpful, and some may be overwhelming and a total waste of your time. I find it’s helpful to create a simple list of tasks to get done. Once you have a list, you can look at what needs to get done first, and go from there, crossing things off when they are accomplished.
How and where you create that list is up to you. It could be through a wedding planning app, a spreadsheet, or a simple piece of paper. It could be an actual top down list of words, or you can make a mind map maze if that is more helpful for you. Either way, get the tasks out of your mind and onto something tangible so you can work with it.
Risk Analysis
Risk analysis is key when it comes to planning any project, including a wedding.
One thing that may be causing wedding planning stress is playing the “what if” game with yourself. What if it rains? Or no one comes? What if my dress doesn’t fit? The list can go on and on. It can also drive you crazy if you let it take over. If this is causing you stress, you may want to list out all the risks that could go wrong on your wedding day and come up with a mitigation plan for each one. For example, if you’re concerned that your dress won’t fit, you can plan to stay intentional with your exercise, or you can reach out to an alterations place to see what they can do with the dress for you.
One by one, go through all the risks that are on your mind and think of ways that you can fix them should they become an issue. This will give you peace of mind, and allow you to refer back to your plan should something come up.
Communicate
If you’re feeling some wedding planning stress, communicate with those who can help you.
This may mean your fiancé. Or your parents. It could be your friends, or even a health care professional. Talking to others about your stress and anxiety can help relieve some of that pressure you’re feeling. They might be just a listening ear, or they could take some of the work off your plate, depending on who they are. The key is that you don’t keep it all bottled up. Wedding planning and being engaged is supposed to be enjoyable, and it’s important to try and make that a reality.
Time Block
Do you enjoy multitasking and toggling between tasks? Well, it might be causing some stress if you’re doing it while wedding planning.
Time blocking is when you set aside a block of time for a specific task. You turn off all other distractions during this time, including the sound on your phone. You may even set a timer for this. When it comes to wedding planning, have a list of tasks to complete during this time. For example, you might set aside one hour to email back your photographer and florist, set an appointment for your dress fitting, and look up potential favor ideas. When the hour is up, take a break if you need it, or keep going if you are into the task.
If you time block your wedding planning, telling yourself that you will intensely focus on a certain group of tasks for a specified amount of time, you will get stuff accomplished. This is particularly helpful with the less fun tasks, whatever that means for you.
Change Plans
If you are experiencing so much wedding planning stress that you are starting to hate the thought of having the wedding you are planning, it may be time to change your plans.
Look, I know this may sound daunting. But hear me out. You may have stress over your venue, the size of your wedding, the costs, the date, or certain guests. It may be outside factors like a family member’s behavior or extra pressure your job is putting on you at this time. It could even be the person that you are marrying. The stress you are feeling could be from a lot of things, but remember that there is always the option to change your wedding plans.
This could mean canceling the big wedding and eloping. You may want to postpone as well. Changing plans could mean ending your relationship and moving on. It could even be as simple as going with another photographer or florist. Whatever it is, remember that all of these are options, even if they may be difficult to accomplish in the moment.
CLOSING THOUGHTS
Well friends, hopefully you are able to manage your wedding planning stress a bit better with these suggestions. When in doubt, take care of yourself, lean on your community, create lists, and really consider all of your options. Wedding planning isn’t for the faint of heart, and some stress can be anticipated, but it shouldn’t be an awful experience. With some tweaks and changes, you can actually start to enjoy planning your wedding again.
More From Hummingbird Wedding Advice:
How To Create A Wedding Health & Beauty Plan
Seven Things Wedding Guests Actually Care About
How To Have A Wedding For Less Than $5,000
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