How To Find A Wedding Officiant

Pretty much every couple getting married will need to find a wedding officiant.

A wedding officiant is typically seen as an essential part of the wedding day. These are the people who make your wedding legal. Yes, they may say some wise words. They may lead the whole ceremony. But, at the end of the day, wedding officiants take care of official business. They are responsible for the actual wedding paperwork and for making sure your wedding was a legit affair.

All of that to say is, wedding officiants are pretty important. And, yes, in some cases, wedding officiants are not required. Some locations allow for couples to “marry” themselves. However, even if a couple can marry themselves, most choose not to. While it’s not always easy to find a wedding officiant that meets your vision and style, once you do they can enhance your wedding even if they aren’t required in every circumstance.

This post is going to walk you through how to find a wedding officiant. It will deep dive into what a wedding officiant is, the main types of officiants, and how you know you’ve found the right one. Of course, there are other options outside this post but the main ones are explored here. The key is to know what you’re looking for, and then find a wedding officiant that matches that vision.

Let’s get into it!

WHAT IS A WEDDING OFFICIANT?

Before we get into how to find a wedding officiant, let’s talk about what a wedding officiant actually is.

The definition of a wedding officiant is that they are someone who is legally permitted to officiate a marriage ceremony. They may be a religious figure, but this is not a requirement for a legal wedding. An officiant helps see the wedding ceremony through. Essentially, they are the one in charge.

Once you are married, an officiant will sign your marriage license and will usually make sure it gets sent in a timely fashion to the right municipality for recording. However, some officiants will simply sign and let the couple send off for recording.

Wedding officiants typically meet with couples ahead of time to align on the wedding ceremony and the plan. They will discuss any readings wanted, what will go into the vows, and how everyone can work together. Some officiants will defer to the couples to design the ceremony, and others have their tried-and-true methods. In either case, it’s important to find a wedding officiant who aligns with your vision.

THE DIFFERENT TYPES OF WEDDING OFFICIANTS

There are about four main types of wedding officiants. Now, of course, there are other types of officiants out there. And, within the types below there are lots of variations. However, to make things simple, I’ll lay out the major types of wedding officiant.

Religious leader or celebrant. These officiants are confirmed or affiliated with a religion. They may be a leader at their church, or part of the clergy. It might be that they are contracted through the church to perform weddings. In either case, they have gone through some sort of study, accreditation, or program to be qualified enough to represent a religious wedding service.
Judge. Judges perform a lot of weddings. In particular, courthouse weddings. Of course, it’s likely you can hire a judge to perform a wedding outside of the courthouse, but their main jam is at their place of work.
Private officiant. These are professional wedding officiants who are certified to legalize weddings, have experience, and are not necessarily affiliated with a religion. Many private officiants perform weddings as a side business, though some have it as their main profession.

Certified friend or family member. These are usually amateur wedding officiants. The ones who get ordained online for free, and are then able to legalize marriages.

HOW TO CHOOSE THE RIGHT KIND OF OFFICIANT

Alright, so now that you know the major types of wedding officiants, let’s talk about how you go about choosing the right kind of officiant for your wedding.

Where you get married is a big factor. If you want to get married in a church, chances are that you’ll need to go with an officiant who is part of that church. And, if you’re doing a courthouse wedding, a judge is likely the one who will marry you.

Beyond that, you have more options. To start narrowing down the route you want to go, think about your wedding ceremony. It may help to create a detailed vision, as outlined in this post. Talk to your partner about the kind of vows you may both want to say. If you’re open to creating your own ceremony, a friend or family member may be the right choice. If you don’t want to design your own ceremony, a professional may be the right one.

By the way, if you need help with your wedding vows, check out my free guide! It’s got quizzes, examples, and all the tools you need to make your vows amazing!

HOW TO FIND A RELIGIOUS LEADER TO OFFICIATE YOUR WEDDING

So you’ve decided to go with a religious leader for your wedding ceremony. What next?

Well, if you already belong to a church, you need to speak to the leader of that church to find out about the process to get married there. If you don’t belong to a church, you’ll need to reach out to leaders of churches you want to get married at, to find out their process. You can also ask your friends and family for referrals, especially if you don’t want to get married at a church but still want a religious leader to be your wedding officiant.

Once you find a leader who may be a possibility to marry you, you’ll need to meet with them. They will be able to tell you their requirements of you, before they commit to officiating. Depending on the leader, they may require marriage classes, pre-marital counseling, or some other step before they agree to officiate.

Of course, you’ll want to discuss your vision for the ceremony with them and see if it aligns with their regular practice. Be sure to ask questions about their methods, rituals, and approach. Any misalignment, and you’ll know that you’ll need to find a different officiant. Flexibility varies among religious leaders, so it’s best to know your non-negotiables going into the meetings to see if you’re a fit.

HOW TO FIND A JUDGE TO OFFICIATE YOUR WEDDING

Of all the possible wedding officiant types you may want to find, finding a judge may just be the easiest.

Now, of course, there are always nuances to everything. However, for the most part, judges as wedding officiants are pretty straightforward. Typically, a judge will precede over weddings that take place in courthouses. Usually you will not get your choice of judge. If you do have an opinion about what judge you would like to marry you, you may be able to schedule your wedding while they are working.

The positives of having a judge marry you is that they are easy to find. And, the process is tried and true. The downside is that you may have very little flexibility in the ceremony itself. Every location is different, but if you want your ceremony to be a certain way, you may find that courthouses have very little variation in their offerings.

HOW TO FIND A PROFESSIONAL WEDDING OFFICIANT

It should be relatively easy to find a professional wedding officiant. However, there still is some effort needed to find the right one for your wedding.

The great thing about a professional wedding officiant is that they know what they are doing. They are comfortable with public speaking, and understand how to make wedding ceremonies incredibly special.

With quick online searches on sites like Wedding Wire, lots of professional wedding officiants will come up as options. You’ll want to find one who has great reviews, recommendations from trusted sources, and some decent experience. These officiants should also have a website or social media account that details their approach and methods.

Before you hire a professional wedding officiant, you’ll want to do a pre-meet. During this meeting, discuss your vision, non-negotiables, and how your wedding ceremony aligns with their practice. See if you get a good feeling about them, and if you can picture them at your wedding. If so, and their price matches your budget, you should go ahead and book them. By the way, most professional wedding officiants cost between $400 to $800 USD, but this varies by location and experience.

HOW TO FIND A FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER TO OFFICIATE

Last one! Let’s find a friend or family member to officiant your wedding.

Of all the weddings I’ve been to, this has by far been the most common choice for couples. Usually there are no costs associated with it, and you get to have someone who knows and loves you officiate your wedding ceremony. It’s a beautiful thing.

There are some drawbacks, though. Non-professional wedding officiants are just that. Non-professionals. This means that they may not be very comfortable with public speaking. And, you may need to guide them a bit when it comes to the flow of the ceremony and what to say.

To find the right wedding officiant among your friends and family, you’ll want to find someone who is reliable, able to get certified to officiate in your location, will be responsible with the paperwork, is okay with public speaking, and will work with you and your vision. This person does not need to know both you and your partner incredibly well. It’s okay if they are close to just one of you. Often, officiating your wedding ceremony will be their wedding gift to you.

THOUGHTS ON HOW TO FIND A WEDDING OFFICIANT

Friends, there are only a few ways to find a wedding officiant. Talking to your local church, going to the courthouse, looking up options online, or asking a trusted friend are the main methods. The key is to know what you’re looking for. Each major kind of wedding officiant is perfect for certain types of weddings. Understanding where your wedding falls into will help you find a wedding officiant who is perfect for you. Happy wedding planning!

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