10 Tips For The Introvert Bride

Do you consider yourself an introvert bride?

Not sure what I’m talking about? Let me explain a bit further. An introvert is someone who tends to feel drained after too much socialization, and feels the need to retreat. They enjoy their own company. Most introverts do not enjoy being the center of attention. Having too much focus on them, and too much socialization, can create anxiety and stress greater than if they were more extroverted.

Knowing all that, can you relate?

If so, you’re in the right place. The thing is, being a bride means that you’ll be the center of attention on your wedding day. This poses unique challenges for the introvert bride. As mentioned above, the stress of being the center of attention and knowing that a lot of socialization will take place can create unpleasant feelings of dread and anxiety for the introvert bride. The good news is that you can minimize this exposure on your wedding day, if you plan ahead.

This post is going to go over ten tips for the introvert bride. Now, of course, the same logic applies to the introvert groom, though, to be honest, grooms usually do not garner as much attention as brides do. And, introversion/extroversion is a spectrum. It’s not an all or nothing thing. So, if you are an extroverted introvert, or an introverted extrovert, these tips should help you as well. Basically, these tips are for anyone who feels like they will be overwhelmed by the attention and socialization on their wedding day. Pick and choose what you feel will work best for you and your wedding.

Let’s get into it!

1. IF POSSIBLE, HAVE A SMALL WEDDING

Let’s go with an obvious tip, to start us off.

One way to minimize attention and socialization is to have a small wedding. Now, of course, the ability to have a small wedding depends on your culture and situation. For some, it’s expected to have a big wedding with lots of people. It would be blasphemy to go against that. For others, having a small wedding is much more doable.

My suggestion? If you are an introvert bride, try and keep your guest list as minimal as possible. Not only will it reduce the amount of attention and socialization you’ll experience on your wedding day, but it will be easier on your budget, too.

2. FIND TIME AHEAD OF THE WEDDING TO BE ALONE

Unless you are the most extroverted extrovert on the spectrum, I will give this tip to just about anyone.

Find some time to be alone on your wedding day.

Even if it’s just for five minutes. Take the time to be with yourself. Do whatever you’d like during that time. If scrolling the internet provides you peace, do it. Maybe you’d rather have a cup of coffee in silence while sitting on a balcony. No problem with that. Whether it’s meditation, exercise, or just sitting alone listening to a podcast, do what feels right to you, with zero interaction with anyone else. It will be a grounding and calming exercise for you.

3. KEEP THE CEREMONY SHORT

This tip was given to me by an introverted friend.

During your ceremony, you’ll definitely be the center of attention. The two people getting married are supposed to be the focus of everyone else during the ceremony. Yes, there are other parts of the wedding that will make you the focus, but your ceremony has the least amount of distractions and the most amount of expectations compared to every other part of your wedding.

By minimizing the amount of time for your ceremony, you’ll minimize the amount of time others will focus on you. Unless you’re having a tried and true religious ceremony, there is no time requirement here. So, keep it short. I give you permission.

For tips on your wedding vows, even private ones, check out my FREE GUIDE here!

4. AVOID PUBLIC SPEAKING

This may seem like a no brainer, but let’s go with it.

For most introverted people, public speaking is among their biggest fears. And, when it comes to your wedding day, there may be some pressure to speak publicly. From your ceremony vows to your thank you or welcome speech, some introvert brides feel obligated to say something.

Here’s the thing, though. Your wedding, your way.

When it comes to your ceremony, you can totally go with traditional vows, private vows, or “repeat after me” vows. Each of these types are laid out in my free guide, if you want to delve deeper. The point is that you can have meaningful wedding vows without saying them in front of all of your wedding guests.

And, when it comes to a thank you speech, brides often get an “out”. Many grooms or families will welcome and thank everyone. If you’re an introvert bride, and want to thank everyone, you can always write each wedding guest a welcome note or thank you card and have them receive them at your wedding. Or, you can have someone else thank everyone on your behalf.

5. GO FOR THE FIRST LOOK

Want to know a surefire way to squelch wedding jitters? Have a first look.

Just in case you don’t know, a first look is a preview of you in your wedding outfit for your partner. First looks are usually private, with the couple and their photographer. It allows the couple to greet each other, talk, and get some of the excitement and anxiety out of the way. For me, personally, a first look really helped. It was special, and I felt amazing afterwards.

If you are a traditional bride, you may not want to do a first look. This is fine, and this is your choice. However, if you feel like you need to control your wedding day anxiety, I highly recommend it.

6. HAVE SOMEONE BE YOUR “INTROVERT BRIDE SHIELD”

One of the beautiful things about your wedding day is that everyone will cater to you and your needs. This means that you can request special favors and assignments to those close to you, and they will usually gladly oblige.

So, if you are an introvert bride, and are worried that people will come up to you and talk to you too much at your wedding, ask a trusted friend to guard you. This could be someone in your wedding party, or just another guest at your wedding. This person would stick by you during cocktail hour and the reception, and help interject into conversations. They may also be prepared to interrupt conversations and grab you for “urgent needs” if you’re too overwhelmed.

Sometimes just knowing someone is there, looking out for you, is enough to lessen the anxiety.

7. CHOOSE A VENUE THAT HAS A QUIET ROOM THAT YOU CAN GO TO

Remember earlier when I suggested that you spend some time alone before your wedding day? Well, have a plan to spend some time alone during your wedding as well.

To do so, you’ll need a plan. Ideally, your venue will have a private and quiet area that you can sneak off to, if needed. This area should be calming, and it should be unknown to the majority of your wedding guests. You may want to prep this area with your phone, some ear buds, a beverage, a snack, or whatever may make you feel calm and collected.

Even if you don’t use this spot during your wedding, it can be calming to know that it’s there if you need it.

8. GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO CHANGE YOUR MIND

I know this is true for both extroverts and introverts, but decisions can be difficult.

When you are an introvert bride, you have to make a lot of decisions. And, those decisions may seem great ahead of your wedding, but daunting as you get closer. Maybe it’s the decision to have a first dance at all. Or, the decision to go ahead and give a thank you speech with your partner. It may be the decision to have a big wedding party, or the decision to have a grand exit. No matter what it is, you may need to give yourself permission to change your mind if you have second thoughts or anxiety about your previous choice.

Yes, I know, in some cases changing your mind may cost you money. Or disappoint people. You may have to communicate the change to a bunch of stakeholders and it can be a lot of work. However, if changing your mind gives you peace, go with it. Again, your wedding, your way.

9. SKIP TRADITIONS THAT DON’T SUIT YOU

When we plan weddings, we often feel like we have to stick to tradition.

Now, if you’ve read my blog before, you will know that I am not a fan of sticking to traditions just for the sake of it. Of course, if a tradition is meaningful to you, and you want it in your wedding, do it. However, if a tradition gives you the creeps or you just don’t think it fits with your wedding, skip it.

For the introvert bride, this may mean that you skip the public wedding vows. Or you sit with your wedding guests during dinner instead of on display at a head or sweetheart table. Perhaps you opt out of a first dance, parent/kid dance, or dancing in public in general. No matter what your reasons are, it’s okay. Some people may be disappointed, but if they know you they will accept it and move on.

10. DON’T MAKE PLANS RIGHT AFTER YOUR WEDDING (OTHER THAN TO RETREAT)

No one told me how busy the days after my wedding would be.

We had a lot of family in town for our wedding, and we went on our honeymoon two days afterwards. This meant that we had to cram a lot of socialization into the days before our wedding, the wedding day, and the day afterwards. Basically, the day was packed.

Would I change anything that happened? No way. I loved having a welcome party, rehearsal dinner, and post-wedding brunch. However, if I could do it all over again, I would maybe plan on a little downtime at some point after our wedding. We really didn’t get a break until we arrived at our honeymoon, and I was completely exhausted.

My tip here? Find an opportunity the day after your wedding to spend half the day, or the full day, to yourself. It’s not selfish, it’s self-care.

THOUGHTS ON TIPS FOR THE INTROVERT BRIDE

There is no reason why the introvert bride can’t enjoy her wedding to the fullest. This is true even if her wedding is a big affair with tons of guests. The key is to plan ahead and identify times to retreat and take care of herself so she can recharge and join back in. Feel free to skip traditions that don’t suit you, and to change your mind if you need to. Your wedding, your way. Happy wedding planning!