Wedding Planning Perfectionism: How To Let Go

Wedding planning perfectionism. I could argue that it’s the source of all the things that give wedding planning a bad rep.

I mean, think about it. Perfectionism is the thing that causes us to doubt ourselves. To compare our plans to others. Perfectionism makes us overspend, and overwork, on things that just don’t need a lot of money or time spent on them. Wedding planning perfectionism will haunt you well after your wedding is over, too, if you let it. Letting go of it is freeing.

The thing is, saying you’ll let go of being a perfectionist is easier said than done. For some people, it’s just ingrained into their being. And, for others, we’re in denial. I like to say I’m not a perfectionist, but deep down I know, and you know, that it’s simply not true. Being a perfectionist is just something that we are, and bucking against it for something as substantial as a wedding is just plan blasphemy.  

Wedding Planning Perfectionism: How To Let Go

This post is going to give you tips to help you let go of wedding planning perfectionism. Remember, this is mainly about a state of mind. In order to properly implement these tips, you have to be in the right mindset. This means that taking care of your mental health, and setting up whatever controls you need to set up, to remind you of what’s really important, is crucial. More on all of that later.

Let’s get into it!

FIRST, MANAGE YOUR ANXIETY 

The number one way to let go of wedding planning perfectionism is to manage your anxiety.

Anxiety can make it seem like the littlest things are a big deal. It will enhance negative experiences. Anxiety will keep you up at night, make you nervous about things that have not happened, and be a massive warning sign that you need to work on your mental health. So, manage it.

What does this look like? Well, I go into it more in this post, but in short, you need to take care of yourself. Sleep. Eat properly. Exercise. Spend time with loved ones. Rest, when you can. Get your finances organized, and communicate with your partner. Talk to a mental health professional, and listen to their advice. Managing anxiety is the first step to let go of wedding planning perfectionism.

THEN, STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHER PEOPLE

Alright, now that we’ve talked about the biggest impact to mental health, let’s get into mindset.

First tip is to stop comparing yourself to other people.

Remember, everyone has struggles with planning their wedding. If they don’t, they have struggles in other areas. Even those who seem like they have unlimited funds, a supportive team around them, the best body, and the perfect partner, are going through something.

What is real, though, is your wedding, and your wedding planning experience. So keep your eyes on your own paper, so to speak. It will help you stop the comparison game.

NEXT, REMEMBER THAT PINTEREST AND SOCIAL MEDIA AREN’T REAL

Let’s delve deeper into the comparison game. What sparks the biggest ignition when it comes to comparison?

Pinterest and social media.

Look, they aren’t real. I mean, yes, unless the images are AI generated, they are real. But they really aren’t. Photos won’t tell you about the stress and costs behind planning something. Videos won’t share the drama behind the scenes. Social media projects the best possible version of whatever you’re looking at. It’s not fair to you if you compare your own wedding to it.

AND, MENTALLY PREPARE THAT THINGS WILL GO WRONG

Back to mindset. Things will go wrong at your wedding.

Sit with that knowledge. Accept it. And remember, anyone who tells you that their wedding was perfect was lying to you. No wedding is perfect, which is why wedding planning perfectionism isn’t going to serve you.

Things will go wrong. Not to plan. Against what you want, or thought would happen. They just will. The key is to know it, and then have the mindset that whatever comes up, you will be able to deal with it. You have friends and family and vendors who will all support you when little, or big, issues come up. And, at the end of your wedding day, all that really matters is that you’re married to your loving partner. The rest will be okay.

BRAINSTORM ALL THE RISKS AND COME UP WITH MITIGATION PLANS

Now that we all know that things will go wrong, can we all agree that no wedding is perfect?

There are some that come as close to perfection as possible, though.

I’ll share with you how they did that. They planned for issues. People who brainstorm what can go wrong, and how to either prevent it or deal with it, will have as close to a perfect wedding as they possibly can. This is because when things go wrong at those weddings they are easily and readily remedied so the plan can get back on track.

So spend some time brainstorming risks and risk mitigation. It will help your wedding be a huge success. 

BE SURE TO MEDITATE BEFORE YOUR WEDDING

Mediation is your friend as you try to let go of wedding planning perfectionism.

This is not just because meditation will help you accept that things will go wrong. And, it’s not because meditation will help you brainstorm ways to prevent or deal with the things that go wrong.

It’s because meditation helps calm you altogether. Getting into the practice of it, well before your wedding, is key. Start a few months ahead of the wedding. Sit with your thoughts, your mantra, and your breath. Set a timer, and just be. When your wedding day comes, you’ll be in the flow to meditate and be at peace with whatever happens.

OF COURSE, BE CONFIDENT IN YOUR DECISIONS AND DON’T SECOND GUESS YOURSELF

Perfectionism is all about second guessing, isn’t it?

Think about it. When you’re trying to be perfect, you pause. Reflect. Think about how things could be improved, be better. Look for the flaws and what’s wrong with absolutely everything. I mean, it’s exhausting!

So, let it go. Be confident in your decisions. Don’t second guess them. Go with the best choice for you, at the moment, and feel good about it. End of story.

GET SUPER CONSERVATIVE WITH YOUR BUDGET

One thing about wedding planning perfectionism is that it can often come down to the money. Or, the lack thereof.

Here’s the thing. Having a solid budget is key to manage any perfectionism or anxiety. This means that you pad each item of your budget, conservatively. For example, if you are going to spend between $3,000 and $5,000 on a wedding photographer, plan on $5,000 until you get a solid quote back and hire someone. And then make the line item realistic.

Being conservative with your budget will mean that you have flexibility and float later on. And this, my friends, will help you feel better about planning the perfect wedding.

DON’T LISTEN TO ANY HATERS

Sometimes there’s little bugs that get in our ears. And I’m not talking about flies.

Don’t listen to haters. Your friend who tells you that parts of her wedding were better than what you’re planning. Your mom who reminds you that a decision you made isn’t what she would have chosen. Just let them go. Some people are not going to be fully supportive of your wedding planning, and that’s okay. They are just hating. Let them.

TAKE TIME AWAY FROM WEDDING PLANNING

Sometimes you need perspective to let go of wedding planning perfectionism. This means breaks from wedding planning.

Just take time away. A weekend where you do nothing for your wedding. A day of the week that is dedicated to binge watching terrible reality shows and cleaning your house. It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you step back from the wedding. Sometimes a little space is all you need to get in a better mindset.

BE SURE TO TRUST YOUR VENDORS

Remember, when it comes to wedding planning, you have a team. And that team includes your wedding vendors.

These are trusted professionals who should know what they are doing. When they give you advice, take it. When they validate your choices, accept it. Don’t doubt yourself, and don’t doubt them, until they give you reason to. And, even then, give them the benefit of the doubt. No one is perfect.

NOW CREATE A MANTRA FOR YOUR WEDDING DAY

Do you know what a mantra is? Essentially it’s a word or phrase to help you stay calm and focused.

For your wedding, you may need a mantra. This will help you manage anxiety and let go of perfectionism.

Some examples of mantras? How about:

• No wedding is perfect, but mine will be amazing.
• I’ve got this.
• I can let go of the small stuff, every single time.
• Breath.
• I love my partner, and my partner loves me.

Or something like that. Make up your own, and repeat it to yourself whenever you need it.

AND REMEMBER WHY YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED IN THE FIRST PLACE

You are not getting married so you can have the perfect wedding.

This is because, one, the perfect wedding does not exist. But it’s also because weddings are about the start of a marriage. They aren’t about flowers, catering, or gowns. Weddings are about uniting two people who want to be together. Those people want to build a life, work together, and be each other’s companion. Keep in mind that your partner is what is important, not the wedding.

THOUGHTS ON WEDDING PLANNING PERFECTIONISM

Friends, letting go of wedding planning perfectionism is so difficult. However, you can do it. Or, at least, manage it. Remind yourself that the perfect wedding does not exist. What does exist, though, is the perfect wedding for you. So, be confident in your wedding planning. Be realistic with your budget, lean on your team, and tune out the haters. You’ve got this! Happy wedding planning!

More On Wedding Planning From Hummingbird Wedding Advice 

12 Wedding Planning Time Saving Hacks

How To Handle Unsolicited Wedding Planning Advice With Grace

What To Do If You Overspend Your Wedding Budget

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