Are you aware of all the people you don’t need to invite to your wedding? Getting pressure to invite certain people, but want some justification to not invite them? This is the post for you!
For some reason, when you are getting married, everyone (and their mother) starts to wonder if they are invited or not. Some invitees are a no brainer. Others you may need to think about. Still more are a flat out no. The thing is, it can be hard to determine the ones to think about and the no’s, when you may be getting pressure to send out invites to everyone you know.
This is why knowing the people you don’t need to invite to your wedding is crucial. Weddings are expensive, and they come with limitations. It’s rare that a couple will have the budget and space to invite literally everyone, and they may want to keep things small for personal reasons. Knowing where to make cuts with their guest list, unapologetically, can be helpful.
13 People You Don’t Need To Invite To Your Wedding
This post is going to list thirteen people you don’t need to invite to your wedding. Now, of course, if you see this list and want to invite someone from it, go ahead. This is your wedding. You do not have to take the advice in this post. You do you. However, if you are on the fence, wondering what the “right” thing to do is, this post can be helpful. Remember, it’s okay to not invite certain people to your wedding. They will survive.
Let’s get into it!
1. FRIENDS YOU JUST MET
For us, this may have been the most awkward and confusing of all the people not to invite to our wedding.
Friends we just met. New friends. Friends with potential to become good, long term friends, but you’re just not there yet.
Look, of course, you can invite your new friends to your wedding. However, you may want to pause for a moment. Or at least have criteria for how long you’ve known these friends before you send an invite. It’s okay to not invite them, and even acknowledge that it’s awkward that they aren’t invited. If they are your “real” friend, they will understand.
2. PEOPLE WHO YOU DON’T REALLY ENJOY BEING AROUND
Man, I wish I had this advice when we designed our guest list. People you don’t really enjoy being around are people you don’t need to invite to your wedding.
One guest in particular stands out to me. In fact, one couple. I mean, this couple were our “friends”, and I had known them for a long time. But, at the time, they were not in a good place. And they weren’t being good friends. There was drama, before and during the wedding. If I could go back, I wouldn’t have invited them and just faced the “consequences” of it. And, by the way, I never talked to them after the wedding again.
Here’s the thing. Surround yourself with people, on your wedding day, who you enjoy. End of story.
3. FAMILY YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IN A LONG TIME
Just because you share blood does not mean you need to share an invite with someone.
If you can’t recognize a family member, or don’t even know how you’re related, it may be time to think about omitting their invite to your wedding. Yes, you may get a guilt trip from your parents. You may even get a guilt trip from that family member who doesn’t get the invite. This is okay. If they are not a part of your life, they don’t need to come to your wedding.
4. ANYONE YOU USED TO DATE
Oh boy. Do I need to go there? Sure.
Exes are people you don’t need to invite to your wedding. Unless, of course, they have morphed into platonic friends who your current partner knows and approves of. Yes, it can be tempting to show off your new love. Or, if you have children with your ex, you may feel compelled to include them in your wedding day. However, things can get weird in these situations. Think about what’s really best for your wedding before sending invites to exes.
5. FRIENDS WHO DIDN’T INVITE YOU TO THEIR WEDDING
Are wedding invites all about evenness? If someone invites you to their wedding, do you have to invite them to yours? How about the opposite? If they didn’t invite you to theirs, can you not invite them?
Look, every situation is different. Maybe you weren’t invited to someone’s wedding because you were new friends a long time ago, and now you are close. Or, maybe you weren’t invited earlier this year and now are on the fence about sending them an invite. Use your judgement here. Do you want these friends at your wedding? Do they bring you joy? Will they add to your day? Can you afford the extra heads? Is there space? If yes to all of these questions, send the invite.
6. PEOPLE WHO LIKELY WON’T BE IN YOUR LIFE FIVE YEARS FROM NOW
They say that people are in our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. If you are thinking about sending an invite to someone who fits into the reason or season categories, consider those people you don’t need to invite to your wedding.
Of course, you do you. If the invite makes sense in this season, send away. However, if you do not see certain invitees in your life five years from now, you don’t need to invite them to your wedding. Period. Wedding invitees should be important to you. Worth keeping in touch with. They shouldn’t be just anyone.
7. FRIENDS WHO YOU ONLY SEE AT A CERTAIN LOCATION (LIKE THE GYM OR A CLUB)
Alright, hear me out now.
Sometimes in life we make friends because we go to the same place. For example, you may have friends who you only see at the gym. Or a club. Or church. Perhaps you grow close to these friends, talking to them about your life. Maybe you even grab a bite to eat with them. However, when you really think about it, they aren’t that big a part of your life. Yes, you like them. Yes, you’re confiding in them. But still, they don’t really know your every day life. They have probably never been to your house. And, if you stopped going to the place where you know them, it’s unlikely you’ll keep in close contact.
I hate to say it, but these are people you don’t need to invite to your wedding. Unless you really, really want to.
8. PLUS ONE’S (WITH ZERO BOUNDARIES)
Sorry to all the single people out there who require a date at weddings. I’m going there.
Plus one’s are the extra invite you give to single people. Perhaps you allow people who are casually dating to bring their new love interest. Or, you allow single people to bring a friend. Or not. Here is my thought on it. If you are inviting single friends to your wedding, and they already know a lot of people who will be at the wedding, they don’t need to bring an extra friend. If you are inviting a single person who doesn’t know anyone, maybe allow a plus one. The thing is, just because someone is single, does not mean they get to have an extra invite.
9. CHILDREN (UNLESS YOU REALLY LIKE THE CHILD)
Again with the controversy. Children are people you do not need to invite to your wedding.
Will some people not attend your wedding if they cannot bring their kids? Absolutely. Will some people scoff at you, and think that you’re being unreasonable? Maybe. And look, this may be a cultural thing, but where I come from, kid-free weddings are a real thing. Kids require extras at weddings, and not every wedding has the budget or space for all of that. Plus, some people want a certain decorum at their weddings and kids just, well, don’t have a lot of decorum.
If you’re not sure what to do about not inviting kids, check out this post on providing childcare at your wedding, and this one on having a kid-free wedding (or not).
10. FRIENDS OF FRIENDS (INCLUDING YOUR PARENT’S FRIENDS)
We all know certain people through other people. Perhaps someone you’re really close to is really close to someone else. In these situations, you do not need to invite the friend of the friend.
This is true for even the closest of relationships. Just because your sister has a best friend, does not mean that you need to invite the best friend. Unless, of course, you are also close to the best friend. Your parents may be social butterflies and have lots of friends. You do not need to invite them to your wedding. Just let it go.
One caveat to this, though, is if your family (or friends) are helping to pay for your wedding. In this case, make some concessions. If your parents are paying for your wedding, maybe let them invite a few friends, if you like these people and your wedding isn’t going to be super small. Just saying.
11. YOUR BOSS OR COWORKERS
Remember earlier when I mentioned you didn’t need to invite people who you only know from one place? Work counts as that one place, too.
The thing about work is that we tend to spend a lot of time there. I mean, if you go into an office or location, you may spend over forty hours a week with certain people. That’s more than I spend with my family, and I spend a lot of time with my family! And while, yes, it can be awkward to not invite people from work to your wedding, it can be a slippery slope. If you invite one, you may feel like you need to invite them all. Or, you may feel obligated to invite your boss or certain people because it can be better for your work life. Here’s the thing. Do what you feel is right. Obligatory invites are not cool. Invite people who you feel close to, who you can see in your life for the long term. Anyone outside of that statement are people you don’t need to invite to your wedding.
By the way, if you want ammo telling certain people they are not invited to your wedding, check out this post.
12. ANYONE WHO YOU THINK WILL BE JUDGEMENTAL
Yes, I’m aware that almost anyone can be judgmental. And, yes, I’m aware that throwing an event, especially a wedding, opens up even the most thoughtful people to be judged. Still, judgy people are people you don’t need to invite to your wedding.
Let that sit for a minute.
If you are feeling some sort of anxiety because you just know that a certain friend or family member will judge you at your wedding, consider maybe not inviting them. I’m serious. Of course, some invites can’t be avoided. Or can they?
Here’s the thing. You want your wedding filled with positive thoughts. Great attitudes. Good moods. If you aren’t sure someone will vibe with that, maybe delete them from your guest list, if possible.
13. PEOPLE WHO TEND TO RUIN EVENTS
Alright, last one.
People who tend to ruin events are people you do not need to invite to your wedding.
Got a friend who overdrinks and acts a fool? Have a cousin who is always fighting with her husband, in public? I’m serious when I give you permission to not invite them to your wedding. Or your pre-wedding events in general. If certain people can’t handle themselves at events, they don’t need to come ruin your wedding, too. End of story.
THOUGHTS ON PEOPLE YOU DON’T NEED TO INVITE TO YOUR WEDDING
Friends, there are just some people you don’t need to invite to your wedding. Is it hard to tell certain people that they aren’t invited? Sure. Is it awkward to plan a wedding, knowing that some people think they will be invited and they aren’t going to be? Absolutely. Still, a wedding is just that. It’s a wedding. An event that should allow the couple to be surrounded by their closest, or most favorite, friends and family, who will continue to be a part of their lives for years to come. Invite accordingly. Happy wedding planning!
Want More Advice On Wedding Guests From Hummingbird Wedding Advice? Check Out The Posts Below!
13 Ways To Entertain Wedding Guests (Other Than Dancing)
Social Media Mistakes Wedding Guests Should Avoid
Entertaining Table Games For Your Wedding Guests
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