Ah, the post-wedding blues. They are so common. And no one ever talks about them.
What are the post-wedding blues, you might ask? Well, they are the feelings of sadness that you get once your wedding is done. For me, they didn’t hit until my honeymoon ended. But, when they did, the feelings were tangible. And, it was awful.
After planning your wedding, and then experiencing it, and having so much going on, it’s normal to feel like something is missing once it ends. There’s so much work and excitement that goes into planning a wedding. And then, poof! It’s over. It’s no wonder that post-wedding blues can take over.
Yes, some people feel relief once their wedding ends. But, not everyone. You may feel like it could have gone better. Or, that it was amazing and you wish you could do it again. Weddings can bring up emotions about people who couldn’t be at ours. Or, emotions about who was actually there. And, no matter what you’re feeling after your wedding, it’s important to be prepared.
Post-Wedding Blues (And 12 Tips To Beat Them)
Luckily, if you’re aware that you may have some feels after your wedding, you can plan for them. At the very least, you can feel a bit less alone with what you’re feeling. Plus, you can be proactive with actions you and your partner can take after the wedding to thwart those post-wedding blues, or at least lesson the blow once the wedding is over.
Let’s get into it.
1. REMEMBER, IT’S OKAY TO FEEL SAD
This is something that I tell my toddler all the time. It’s okay to feel sad.
When something good happens in our life, and then it’s gone, it’s normal to be sad that it’s over. Your wedding was probably really important to you. It was a big part of your life, perhaps for a long time. And now, it’s in the past. For some people, it’s almost like grieving a loss. Remember, if you’re sad, it means that your wedding was meaningful.
2. DO WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD
When I’m sad, I like to do what makes me feel better. This is different for everyone, so you’ll have to figure out what works for you.
For some people, it could mean prioritizing your mental and physical health. Focusing on sleeping enough, eating right, and meditating. For others, it could mean indulging in comfort food, or letting loose with friends. And still, some people feel good after a long cry and pity party. Whatever it is, do it. Of course, you don’t want to adopt unhealthy habits, but it’s okay to give in a little bit if it helps you get through these feelings.
3. TALK TO YOUR NEW SPOUSE
You’re married! This means that you should be able to open up to your spouse if you’re feeling post-wedding blues.
It’s important to do this because your partner may be able to find ways to support you. Or, they could be feeling their own sadness, too. They may be able to help you feel better, by reminding you about the next important chapters in your life and what you have to look forward to.
If your partner isn’t innately supportive, it’s okay to let them know what you need. This could be a great learning opportunity for them to understand how to be there for you when times are a little rough.
4. START PLANNING FOR A NEW EVENT OR ADVENTURE
When one door shuts, go open another! If you’re bummed that your wedding is over, start looking for the next event to plan or adventure to go on.
Perhaps it’s your honeymoon, or another big trip. You could start a business. Or, just have a really fun night out with your spouse or friends. You could start a home project, or maybe start discussing having a baby with your partner. Starting a new hobby or taking a class can be exciting, too. It could even be as simple as reading a book, seeing a movie, or binging a TV show. Whatever it is, finding another thing to focus on will likely get your mind off your wedding.
5. TALK TO A PROFESSIONAL ABOUT YOUR POST-WEDDING BLUES
If you’re really down, and don’t know how you’ll come out of it, it may be time to talk to a professional.
The thing about therapy is it is supposed to help us understand coping mechanisms that will carry us through life. Talking to a professional therapist will help you come to terms with your emotions. And, they should be able to provide you tools to help feel better. These days, it’s super easy to find a therapist, with many online options.
6. KEEP YOURSELF BUSY
When I’m feeling down, it helps if I’m able to keep myself busy. So, make a plan for each and every day.
Don’t know what to do?
Well, start with socializing with others. And, exercising can really boost those serotonin levels. Work on something that you didn’t have time to work on when you were planning your wedding. Take care of those post-wedding items, like selling things you don’t need anymore, sending thank you cards, or changing your name. Put away anything you’d like to keep from your wedding, and re-organize your home. Trust me, there’s lots to do!
7. REMINISCE ABOUT YOUR WEDDING
Ah, remembering the good times.
If you’re missing your wedding, go back and remember it. Look at photos from it with your partner. Read every single card that you received. Find a special place for your guest book. Try on your dress again and hang out around the house with it. Visit your venue, and think about the memories you have. Frame your favorite photos, or frame your vows. All of these things will help you look back with fondness on your special day.
8. MAKE SOMETHING TANGIBLE TO REMEMBER YOUR WEDDING
Now, this post-wedding blues cure isn’t for everyone, but if you’re even just a little crafty, it can help.
Creating a scrapbook or photobook can help honor your wedding and give you something to work on. If it’s a scrapbook, you can gather together things like wedding invitations, save the dates, vows, pictures, cards, and bits of fabric, and put them in it. Turn to Pinterest if you need some inspiration. You can even add in your vows.
For a photobook, there are lots of online options to upload photos and have them laid out in gorgeous pages. You can then have the book printed and shipped to you. My advice? Don’t skimp on this part. Make the book amazing. Splurge on the upgraded paper, binding, and cover. This will be a cherished part of your home for a long time.
9. SOCIALIZE WITH PEOPLE WHO WERE AT YOUR WEDDING
One of the best things about a wedding is talking about it later on. So go ahead and do that with your friends who were there!
If you’re near your friends, go to dinner or on a walk. Or, have them over so you can test out some of your new wedding gifts. If they live far away, get on a Zoom call with them. Continue the celebration with your former wedding guests and learn about their experience at your wedding. It will allow you to talk about the wedding, and trust me, it will help you feel better.
10. LET GO OF WHAT WENT WRONG
Though almost everything went according to plan at my wedding, there were a few things that didn’t. And they really bugged me in the weeks that followed. You can even learn about them in this post.
Though eventually I came to terms that the microphones didn’t work well, my husband missed parts of our vows, and we got stranded at our venue after our wedding, it wasn’t a pleasant feeling at first. I had planned my wedding so much, and tried to mitigate every little thing that could go wrong. It was just so annoying that things did.
Listen, if you’re plagued with some regrets or thinking about what went wrong at your wedding, it’s time to let it go. No wedding is perfect. You, and everyone else, did their best. It’s time to move on.
11. SHARE YOUR WEDDING TIPS
Not ready to let go of your wedding? Why not help others plan theirs?
No, you don’t need to become a wedding planner. You don’t even need to start a business. Though you could, if you found a calling while planning your wedding. You can also start a blog, a podcast, or even just a social media page. If you have something to share, go for it. Cultivate a community who can learn from you. And, you’ll learn too, in the process.
This can even be as simple as going back to any Facebook wedding groups that you joined while engaged and answering questions that others post. You can also share a whole post to them about what your wedding taught you. Doing so will feel great, and will help others.
12. FOCUS ON YOUR MARRIAGE
Hey! You’re married! And now is the time to focus on that, and what that means. The whole point of your wedding was to get married, so this is the start of that life.
Not sure what actions you’re supposed to take to focus on your marriage? Well, you can check out this post on having a happy and healthy marriage for some pointers. You can also just talk to your partner about the kind of marriage you’d like to have. Discuss your dreams and what you can do to achieve them. Doing so will help you both look forwards and not dwell on the past.
CLOSING THOUGHTS
The post-wedding blues happen to the best of us. Remember, a little sadness is okay, but you don’t want it to overtake your thoughts. It’s important to find healthy ways to move on, honor your wedding, keep busy, and start living an amazing married life. If you can’t, consider discussing what you’re going through with a professional. You’ve got this!
More From Hummingbird Wedding Advice:
How To Deal With Wedding Planning Stress
How To Create A Wedding Health & Beauty Plan
Six Lifestyle Changes That Will Help You Feel Your Best On Your Wedding Day
Did you find this post helpful, inspiring? PIN it to your After-The-Wedding Board on Pinterest!
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