6 Tips To Reduce Your Guest List

Almost everyone finds themselves in a position where they need to reduce their guest list before their wedding.

It’s easy to get overly excited about who to invite to our weddings when we get engaged. You and your partner may have even gone through all the steps to create a wedding guest list, and feel confident in it, at first. However, there may be reasons that you realize later on that motivate you to cut your guest list down. And, no matter the reasons, they are totally valid.

While you can cut guests from your list at will, there may be a more methodical way to do it. It all comes down to looking at the potential people who may be invited to your wedding, and critically thinking about why you’d want to invite them. With a little pragmatism, and keeping in mind the reasons why you want to reduce list, you can create a guest list that makes sense for your wedding.

This post is going to go over tips to reduce your guest list. It will review with you what makes sense, and how to apply each tip to your situation. Remember, your wedding is not about other people. It’s about you, your partner, and the next chapter in your lives. When it comes to who is there to watch it all start, you’ve got to be a little critical.

Let’s get into it!

WHY YOU MAY WANT TO REDUCE YOUR GUEST LIST

First things first. The reasons why you may want to reduce your guest list.

Now, this list is not all inclusive. In fact, you may have other reasons why you want to reduce the number of people at your wedding. And, that’s totally fine. This is your wedding, and no one else has the right to judge how many people are, or aren’t there. They also shouldn’t judge why certain people are there over others. There are very few people who can just invite anyone and everyone to their weddings, and actually want them all to come.

Here are the main reasons why you may want to reduce your guest list:

You want to keep costs down, either because you’re at your maximum budget, or just want to have a less-expensive wedding.
There may be pandemic-related restrictions that you need to adhere to. These could be self-imposed, or based on your location.
Your venue may have limited space.
There may be a “goal” guest count that you have in mind, for whatever reason.

You may be uncomfortable with a large wedding and want to keep it small.

THE GOOD NEWS ABOUT YOUR GUEST LIST

While it’s easy to invite a lot of people to our weddings, and scary to think about them all coming, there is some good news.

Not all of them will come.

Older people, those who live far away, families with young children, and those who are already booked that day are more likely to decline your invitation than other people. Even if everyone is close and available, you’ll still have those who decide not to come. In fact, you can count on 15% to 30% of those who you invite to decline coming to your wedding. So, even if you end up inviting a few more people than you were originally thinking, chances are that the numbers will even out by your wedding day.

Now, onto the tips!

1. TALK TO YOUR STAKEHOLDERS FIRST

Before you start to whittle down your guest list, talk to the other stakeholder who may have something to say about who you invite.

This includes your partner. It may also include your parents, or your future in-laws. Essentially, if someone is helping you pay for your wedding, they are a strong stakeholder in who may be invited. Talk to these stakeholders about the reasons why you want to reduce your guest list. In some cases, they may help you cut some names right away. And, in others, they will make the case to keep some names. In either scenario, they will be aware that some people will be taken off the guest list.

2. KEEP PEOPLE ON THE LIST WHO YOU WOULD LOVE TO BE AT YOUR WEDDING

When you start to reduce your guest list, first pick out the people who you really want to be at your wedding.

These are the people who you wouldn’t want to get married without them being there. It may include your partner’s immediate family, your immediate family, your best friends, and any other people who are close to you. These are the people who absolutely need to be invited. These people will vary from wedding to wedding, so it’s important to look at who is essential to you. And, if you find that no one is essential on your wedding guest list, that’s okay, too.

3. QUESTION EVERYONE ON YOUR EXISTING GUEST LIST

Once you have given your stakeholders a heads up that there may be reductions to the guest list, and picked out the people who absolutely have to be invited, it’s time to ask some questions about the people who are remaining.

Now, these questions are not all inclusive. They are meant to get you thinking. You don’t have to rule out someone just because the answer to one of the questions makes it seem like they shouldn’t be invited. At the end of the day, you’re curating your wedding guest list, and you can invite whomever you want.

However, here are some good questions to ask yourselves about your guest list:

Who do we really, really want there?
Are there people on the list who are based solely on our family’s wants?
Who has been supportive during our engagement?
Is anyone on the guest list someone we don’t know?
How often do we talk to the people on the list?

Who would we buy dinner for, if we went out to eat together?
Who is a seasonal friend?
Who will be a part of our life after the wedding?

Hopefully the answers to these questions will help you narrow down your guest list even more.

4. LOOK AT “EXTRA” GUESTS

Alright, the next tip has to do with the “extra” guests. You know. The ones who come with the guests who are actually invited, out of convenience or comfort for them.

This is where we talk about kids and plus one’s.

One of the easiest ways to reduce your guest list is to not allow any kids or dates. Now, you can make exceptions to these rules. And you get to make up the rules to those exceptions. Maybe certain kids are allowed to come. Maybe certain guests can bring their significant other. You’ll have to look at each situation and invite accordingly.

For more tips on inviting kids (or not), check out this post. For tips on plus one’s, this one is for you.

5. REVIEW WHO WILL UNDERSTAND IF NOT INVITED

Another way to reduce your guest list is to review who will understand if they aren’t invited.

These are the people who you may not be that close to. The people who maybe didn’t invite you to their wedding. The new friends, or the friends you haven’t seen in a while. These are the distant relatives who your mom wants you to invite. Really, it could be a lot of people, depending on your wedding and how close your relationships are. If you know up front they will understand if they aren’t invited, consider taking their name off your guest list.

By the way, if you need tips on talking to someone who isn’t invited to your wedding, check out this post.

6. ANALYZE WHO WON’T COME ANYWAY

The last way to really reduce your guest list? Determine who won’t come anyway.

Now, I touched on this earlier, but let’s explore it further.

If you are inviting people who live far away, have young kids, don’t have a lot of money, are super pandemic conscious, or aren’t into celebrating, chances are they will decline your wedding invitation. Of course, the case could be made that you should invite them. Because they won’t come. However, it’s up to you. Inviting people to your wedding can cost money, if you’re not going the digital route. So, even if they decline your invite, you may find that you spent money just seeing if they might come.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Reducing your guest list can be a daunting task. It’s one that takes a bit of tact and intention, in order to get it right. It’s best done before you send out any invitations. In fact, I could write a whole other blog post about un-inviting people from your wedding! Remember that this is your wedding. You get to invite anyone you want. And, not invite anyone you don’t want. However, there is a right way to do it. Follow the tips and you’ll get there. Happy wedding planning!