Should You Have a Wedding: Six Reasons You Should, Four Reasons You Shouldn’t

Should you have a wedding?

Many, many people have asked this important question over the ages. And, to be honest, it’s a good one. There are tons of reasons why couples really don’t need to have a ceremony and reception. For example, planning can be stressful, expensive, and time consuming. However, most couples who get married still have a wedding to initiate their marriages.

Why? Because weddings can be amazing. They are a celebration of a new chapter. Plus, it brings all your family and friends together for one purpose, to celebrate you and your partner. And, of course, if you plan your wedding strategically it doesn’t have to be stressful, expensive, or time consuming. Just saying.

Should You Have a Wedding: Six Reasons Why You Should, Four Reasons Why You Shouldn’t

This post will help answer the “should you have a wedding” question. It will go over all the reasons why you should, and all the reasons why you really shouldn’t. Remember, not every reason to have a wedding, or not, is applicable to everyone. For example, if your family will pay for your wedding, the cost may not be as important to you than if you had to pay for it yourselves. Every situation is different.

Let’s get into it!

SHOULD #1: WEDDINGS ARE A WAY TO CELEBRATE YOUR MARRIAGE WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY

One massive reason why you should have a wedding is because they are the best way to celebrate your marriage with your family and friends.

It’s a celebration like no other. Gathering those you are closest to, just to celebrate the start of your marriage. Most people will never experience it again, even for birthdays, graduations, and other milestones. Plus, there’s pre-wedding events that are like mini-celebrations. It’s all a beautiful thing.

SHOULDN’T #1: WEDDINGS CAN BE REALLY EXPENSIVE

I have a phrase that has to do with money. People spend money that is of value to them.

Because weddings can be pricey, you and your partner need to ask yourselves if having one is of value to you. For instance, is it worth it for you to spend money on your wedding? Does it excited you out to spend money on a gown, or does the thought make you want to puke? Will that final price tag make you feel accomplished, or will you have regrets? If you have the money, and find that a celebration is of value to you, no worries. If not, on either of those accounts, it’s a sign you shouldn’t have a wedding.

SHOULD #2: HAVING A WEDDING CAN BE A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE

Yes, of course, some people get married more than once. Let’s not go into the specifics of that.

Here’s the thing. Having a wedding is usually a once in a lifetime experience. Not everyone gets to have it. Having one is a privilege, not a right. If you get the opportunity, why not make the best of it? Throw a wedding that is meaningful to you, and enjoy every part of the process.

SHOULD #3: WEDDINGS ARE A REASON TO DRESS UP AND LOOK AMAZING

Along the same lines as that “once in a lifetime experience” is how you may look on your big day.

If you are a bride, chances are you’ll wear an outfit that you’ll only have the chance to wear once. It may also be the only time in your life where you get an expensive outfit, curated accessories, fancy shoes, and a glam squad to get you dolled up. If you’re a groom, it’s kind of the same logic. This is a fantastic opportunity to look your best. It’s fun, really, I promise.

SHOULDN’T #2: YOU DON’T REALLY LIKE BEING THE CENTER OF ATTENTION

Okay, back to reasons against why you should have a wedding. One is that you don’t like being the center of attention.

I’ll caveat this tip with a few points. One is that the people giving you attention on your wedding day love you. They want the best for you, and they are happy for you. The second is that you have a partner with you, who is also getting attention. There is no mandate that you speak at your reception, and you can keep your ceremony short and simple.

That said, you maybe shouldn’t have a wedding if you get a ton of anxiety about being the center of attention. It may not be worth it for you.

SHOULD #4: PLANNING A WEDDING IS AN AMAZING OPPORTUNITY TO GET TO KNOW YOUR PARTNER IN A NEW WAY

This is a fantastic reason why you should have a wedding. You will get to know and understand your partner more in the process.

What does this mean, exactly? Well, wedding planning involves discussions about priorities and values. It requires time management, money management, and decision making. There will be problem solving involved as well. Working with your partner, you will discover how they are with all of these things. Planning with them will point out what’s important to them, and how you can support certain skills once you are married. It’s a unique opportunity to see them in a new light.

SHOULDN’T #3: YOU MAY BE TOO BUSY TO PLAN A WEDDING

Should you have a wedding when you have no time to plan it?

Short answer is, maybe.

If you really are swamped, and can’t take another thing on, you may have options. Perhaps a friend or family member, or even your partner, will plan the wedding for you. Or, you may be able to afford an actual planner. However, if you really have no one, and no money, and no time, you may want to skip the wedding altogether.

SHOULD #5: WEDDINGS MAY BE VERY IMPORTANT TO YOUR FAMILY’S TRADITIONS

Some people should have a wedding because it really is important to their families.

And this is not just the whole being married part. The actual ceremony may be important. Some people have grandmas who have talked about buying a gown for their granddaughters. Some people have dads who have curated a garden in the backyard for their son’s weddings. And, of course, some people just have families who love celebrations.

If this is you, I would consider this a huge reason to have a wedding. If you’d like more information on traditions, this is a cool article from Minted.

SHOULDN’T #4: YOU MAY NOT CARE ABOUT BEING TRADITIONAL

On the flip side of having a wedding because your family is rather traditional, there’s also skipping the wedding because you, yourself, are not.

And, look, that’s okay.

If you don’t really see yourself as a bride or groom, and don’t want all the effort and fanfare, a wedding is not a necessity. You can totally get married, if you want, without an actual celebration. Sign some docs and move on with your life, right? It’ll be alright.

SHOULD #6: WEDDINGS ARE A PUBLIC AFFIRMATION OF YOUR COMMITMENT TO MARRIAGE

Should you have a wedding because it’s a public affirmation of your commitment to marriage? In my opinion, absolutely.

Marriage is not always easy. Things come up. People change. Love changes. By taking the time to affirm your commitment, with your vows, in front of others, and then celebrate that you did that . . . it’s at least one control point to making your marriage work.