Are you starting to feel overwhelmed with wedding planning?
Look, wedding planning can be stressful for just about anyone. Not only does it require an immense amount of decision making and coordination, but it can be expensive. Plus, you may have pressure from your family to plan a wedding you aren’t totally on board with. All while you’re likely busy with work and life in general. It’s a lot.
The thing is, you need to understand your balance. The balance of being a little stressed out, compared to being overwhelmed with wedding planning. It’s important to watch the signs of overwhelm that may be impacting your wellbeing and mental health. Because, let’s be honest here. Weddings are important, but they are just weddings.
10 Signs You’re Overwhelmed With Wedding Planning
This post is going to give you ten signs that you’re overwhelmed with wedding planning, and a suggested remedy to treat them. A quick disclaimer is that I’m not a doctor. I’m not a psychologist. I do have a degree in psychology, but that does not qualify me to give medical advice. This post is meant to help you determine if you may need to focus on your mental health rather than your wedding, and to help identify when you need to change course. If you feel completely unwell, mentally or physically, please seek professional help.
Let’s get into it!
1. WEDDING PLANNING IS KEEPING YOU UP AT NIGHT
The first sign that you’re overwhelmed with wedding planning is that your wedding planning is keeping you up at night.
Here’s the thing. Sleep is everything. Sleep balances out our daily lives. It gives us energy. Our skin and bodies function better with a good night’s sleep. And, while yes, sometimes it’s okay to go through a period of life where sleep is a luxury, for the most part it’s a basic human right. And your wedding planning stress should not impact your sleep.
Remedy: Let’s approach sleep from two angles. The first is your stress level. To combat your wedding planning stress, you should keep a list of what you need to take care of handy so it’s not all in your head. It may also help to keep a notepad by your bed so you can put off thinking about your wedding until the morning.
The second approach is to make your bed a wonderful place to sleep in. Turn off screens before bed. Do a meditation. Clear away clutter. Sometimes a shower or bath will help you relax. Improve your sleep hygiene and you’re sure to get better sleep no matter what.
If you want more tips on sleeping better before your wedding, this is the post for you.
2. YOUR PARTNER IS TELLING YOU THAT THEY ARE OVERWHELMED
Alright, why would your partner telling you that they are overwhelmed be a sign that you’re overwhelmed with wedding planning?
Well, because you and your partner are in this together. If your partner is feeling the stress, it could mean that your capacity is the same as well. Or, it could mean that you need to watch out because your partner won’t be able to take on more of the load. Basically, this is an indirect sign that you need to be careful and tread lightly for both of your sakes.
Remedy: Do an analysis of your mental load and wedding planning stress. If you feel like you have more capacity, you can help take on some of the stress your partner is carrying. If you’re at your max, you may need additional help, or to cut some tasks out of your wedding planning altogether.
3. YOUR SPENDING IS STARTING TO GET OUT OF CONTROL
You know what’s really easy to do when stress levels are high? Throw money at a problem.
Now, of course, this is a privilege. And there are lots of ways to solve issues with money. These ways include dipping into our savings accounts or going into debt. Neither of these are ideal ways to deal with stress and problems. Both of these ways will create more stress later on. It’s a vicious cycle. Spending too much, or not knowing how much you’re spending, is totally a symptom of being overwhelmed.
Remedy: You need to regain control of your wedding spending. This means sitting down with your bank account statements and recording how much is going out. It helps to also have a forecasted amount of what is to come. If you need help setting up a solid system, this post walks you through how to create a detailed but manageable wedding budget.
4. YOU CAN’T KEEP TRACK OF EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO DO
You know what makes me overwhelmed? Trying to remember what needs to get done.
If you are starting to forget wedding planning tasks, lose track of what needs to get done, or feel anxiety when you have to sit down and accomplish tasks, it’s a sign that you’re overwhelmed with wedding planning. And, this is understandable. Wedding planning is hard. There are a lot of things to take care of. They can’t all be done at once or out of order.
Remedy: You need to get organized with a checklist, app, or spreadsheet of items to get done. This should be all inclusive, listing out all your tasks and when you will do them. By breaking out your wedding planning tasks and deciding what to take care of now, verses later, you’ll track your current priorities and feel more in control.
5. YOU’RE NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO YOUR WEDDING (OR JUST WANT TO GET IT OVER WITH)
Oh, this is not a fun sign that you’re overwhelmed with wedding planning.
The first rule of getting married is that you should be looking forward to actually getting married. Your wedding day should be an exciting one to plan. One that you want to be at and enjoy. The mere thought that you’re not excited about it, or you’re dreading it’s arrival is just not okay. It’s a sign that you’re not planning the wedding you’d like to have. No fun at all.
Remedy: If you aren’t looking forward to your wedding, it’s time to think about the parts you aren’t looking forward to. Analyze if you can modify or cut those parts out of the equation altogether. Maybe you hate your dress. See if you can get another one. Perhaps your wedding is just too big for your liking. Consider downsizing your guest list, or planning a smaller ceremony before your larger one. See what you can change so you do look forward to your wedding, and focus on the good stuff.
6. YOU FEEL LIKE NO ONE IS HELPING YOU (BUT YOU NEED HELP)
You know what makes me feel overwhelmed? Doing it all, myself.
If you feel like you are planning your wedding in a silo, and you’re all alone, it’s no wonder you’re feeling overwhelmed. There’s a lot to complete, and you’re likely taking on other’s requests and preferences as you plan. Being engaged is supposed to be fun, and not a time where you’re totally on your own. It’s completely fair why you would not want to plan a wedding alone.
Remedy: You need to ask for help. In fact, don’t ask. Delegate. If someone puts something on your plate, give it back to them. If possible, hire a wedding planner or day of coordinator to help you out.
7. YOU’RE NOT PLANNING THE WEDDING THAT YOU’D WANT TO HAVE AND ARE UNMOTIVATED TO GET TASKS DONE
You know what overwhelms me? Planning things I don’t want to do.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I love planning in general. It’s kind of my thing. But, when to comes to planning things that I don’t really want to have happen, well, it’s a total drag. If you find that you’re planning a wedding you don’t really want to have, chances are you’re feeling the drag, too.
Remedy: If you’re not that excited about your wedding, and motivation to get planning done is lacking, you need to re-evaluate what you’re working towards. Who’s wedding are you planning? Is it for you and your partner, or for someone else and their expectations? If it’s the latter, it’s time to stop and think about the wedding you really want. Yes, this may mean changing course on some things. However, I’d rather see you disappoint some people now, than disappoint yourself for having a wedding that isn’t for you.
8. YOU FEEL FATIGUED, STRESSED, OR UNHEALTHY
Sometimes we can feel rundown and we aren’t really sure why.
Let me know if this sounds like you. You’re tired. Maybe your appetite is waning, or you’ve gained some weight and you’re not sure why. Perhaps you used to work out all the time, and now you can’t remember the last time you exercised. While you may be wondering what’s going on and then letting it go immediately after, you might want to look at your stress levels. In particular, if you’re planning a wedding, think about if you’re overwhelmed with it all.
Remedy: Maybe you’re well on your way to planning the wedding you really want, but the stress of balancing it is getting to you in a negative way. If so, you need to prioritize some actions and dial back others. For a season, set boundaries on activities that do not bring you joy or are not essential to your day to day life. Schedule time to relax. Time to get outside. See a doctor if you’re really concerned. Basically, it’s okay to say no to things that are not serving you, until you’re past the wedding.
For wedding wellness tips, here’s the post for you.
9. WEDDING PLANNING IS CONSUMING ALL YOUR FREE TIME
Sometimes we just don’t have time to plan a wedding, and this can make us feel very overwhelmed.
If you are working a ton, and have almost no free time, it’s no wonder that you’re overwhelmed with wedding planning. Maybe you have a job where you have to travel a lot. Or, the hours are intense. Either way, it’s time to lean on your support structure. You can’t necessarily get out of work, unless you find a new job, but you can lighten your load.
Remedy: If you are having trouble getting it all done, it’s time to ask your partner to step up. If they are unable to, lean on your wedding party, your family, or another source. If you have the budget for it, hire a wedding planner. All of this will help reduce your overwhelm and free up time in your life.
For tips on balancing wedding planning and working full time, see this post.
10. WHAT WILL HELP WITH BEING OVERWHELMED WITH WEDDING PLANNING:
Okay, this isn’t really a sign. But it’s important. Before we conclude, let’s boil down the take-aways if you’re overwhelmed with wedding planning.
- Get clear with your wedding budget and tracking what you spend.
- Create a wedding planning to do list, checklist, or schedule so you can focus on one thing at a time.
- Delegate tasks to other people (your partner, family, friends, or paid professionals).
- Hire a wedding planner and a day of coordinator, if you have the budget for it.
- Make self care a priority (proper rest, social events, meditation, hydration, exercise, diet).
- Create boundaries with plans that do not serve you, wedding suggestions you do not like, and saying “no” to excess requests.
- Reconnect with your partner with a weekend away, a date night, or a wedding planning session.
THOUGHTS ON BEING OVERWHELMED WITH WEDDING PLANNING
Friends, it’s not any fun to be overwhelmed with wedding planning. Planning a wedding is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and it should be mostly enjoyable. If you find that you’re not having fun, or your stress is impacting your health, it’s time to re-evaluate and find a remedy. You’ve got this! Happy wedding planning.
More On Managing Stress From Hummingbird Wedding Advice
Why Wedding Planning Is So Stressful
How To Deal With Wedding Planning Stress
Three Ways To Be Centered And Relaxed On Your Wedding Day
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