Why You May Want A Small Wedding Party

From experience, I can tell you that having a small wedding party can be awesome.

At first glance, having a small wedding party may not seem that great. If you have visions of your friends, all dressed similarly, standing with you at the altar, a small wedding party may not be for you. However, there are benefits to keeping your party small. For example, there are less people to coordinate with. And, more people can just enjoy your wedding as regular guests. More on the benefits later.

The great news is, even if you only have a few people as your maids of honor, best men, groomsmen, or bridesmaids, you can still have the full wedding experience. Plus, your friends can still be involved in your wedding. They just won’t have the titles or expectations that come with being in a wedding party. I’ll go over how that can all work later as well.

As you can probably tell, this post is going to go over the reasons why you may want a small wedding party. It will let you know how to make it happen, and how to help others deal with any disappointment they may have over not having a “title”. Hopefully it will motivate you to curate the wedding party that makes the most sense for your wedding.

Let’s get into it!

REASONS WHY YOU MAY WANT A SMALL WEDDING PARTY

First things first.

Let’s go over the reasons why you may want to have a small wedding party. Some people may see these reasons as the “benefits” of a small wedding party. It may be a judgement call for you. In some cases, the reasons may not appeal to you. This is totally okay, and will help validate your reasons for not having a small wedding party.

YOU WANT TO COORDINATE WITH LESS PEOPLE

A huge reason for having a small wedding party is that you don’t want to coordinate with a large group of people.

Think about it.

Prior to a wedding, and during a wedding, there is a lot of coordination. You have your partner to keep informed. You have your families. And, regular guests need to be in the know. When you add in bridesmaids and groomsmen, it can get even more complicated. Not only do you have to help dress everyone, and make sure they know the wedding day expectations and schedule, you’re doing it at a time where you have a lot of other items on your plate. It can be overwhelming to inform and keep tabs on a large group of people.

Plus, on your actual wedding day, working with a large wedding party can get complicated. There has to be a plan for getting ready, photos, and what everyone does during the ceremony. If you’re not up for being the center of information for a large group, a small wedding party may be for you.

YOUR CEREMONY SPACE IS SMALL

Have you ever tried to cram a large group into a small space? It’s not always pretty.

I know that many ceremony spaces have room for lots of people on either side. However, this isn’t always the case. In fact, my wedding would not have accommodated a large group. Our ceremony was originally supposed to be held outside, on a lawn, with lots of space. However, due to the weather, it was moved indoors at the last minute. Our ceremony space had room for three or four people on either side. This was no problem for us, though, because we only had two people each in our wedding party.

YOUR WEDDING IS SMALL, IN GENERAL

If you do not have a lot of wedding guests, having a large wedding party can seem a bit ridiculous.

For example, your wedding may have 50 people in attendance. If you and your partner each have six friends in your party, this means that 12 of your guests are actually in your wedding. Add in you, your partner, some immediate family members, and any guests who are doubling as your officiant, or providing a reading, and the number of people actually witnessing your ceremony in seats can get very limited.

This situation may appeal to you. However, if it doesn’t, it’s okay to keep your wedding party small so the majority of your guests can just enjoy your ceremony as witnesses.

YOU DON’T WANT TO DECIDE BETWEEN PEOPLE

One of the great things about having a small wedding party is that you’re less likely to have to pick between people.

Often, when wedding parties are chosen, couples try to be fair. It’s easy to think that if you pick one friend, you’ll have to pick another, just so there are no hurt feelings. Rather than pick one person over others, when you have a small wedding party, you can choose one or two people who make the most sense, and everyone else is treated the same.

HOW TO INCLUDE THOSE WHO AREN’T IN YOUR SMALL WEDDING PARTY

Alright, so if you do decide to have a small wedding party, but want to include certain people who aren’t in your wedding party, you may be curious what you can do.

Well, as it turns out, a lot.

Just because someone isn’t your official bridesmaid doesn’t mean that they can’t be involved in your wedding. If they are your friend, and have the ability to help, they likely will. And, for some people, they prefer to be involved without all the extra “bridesmaid expectations” also being present.

Below, I’ll go into how you can include your friends and family who want to be there, but who are not in your official wedding party. This can be applicable whether you have zero people in your wedding party, or a large group.

DELEGATE TASKS / COORDINATION

If you’re including someone in your wedding, it likely means that you’re asking them to help, right?

Now, what you ask others to help with depends on a few things. First, they have to want to help. And, they have to have the skillset to help with the item that needs assistance. However, if you have a guest coming to your wedding, who may have been in your wedding party if it was a larger wedding party, think about asking them to get involved.

For example, they can help with any crafty projects you have on your plate. Or, organizing one of your pre-wedding events, like a bridal shower. In some cases, they can simply help with the pre-wedding events, without actually being the one to plan them.

Here are some ways I asked others to be involved in my wedding (those who were not actually in my wedding):

A good friend put together all the flower arrangements ahead of the wedding. Yes, this was a lot of work for her. However, we paid for the flowers and this was her wedding gift to us.
Another good friend allowed us to host our post-wedding brunch at her house. We paid for all the food, and were very grateful that she let us use her space.

One of my best friends, who was not an actual bridesmaid, organized my bachelorette party. She’s very good at that sort of thing, and was happy to help out.

RECOGNIZE FRIENDS ON YOUR WEBSITE OR PROGRAMS

A very easy way to include someone in your wedding is to simply acknowledge how you know them.

This can be done on your website, or programs. A simple shoutout, or letting others know how you know them, can be a great way to honor someone who isn’t in your wedding. On your wedding website you can likely add these details in the space where you have your wedding party listed. Or, you can probably add a new tab to give certain guests “honorable mentions”.

If you’re creating wedding programs, the same logic applies. Your ceremony programs can be whatever you want them to be. So, go ahead and list out thank you messages to people who have been there for your relationship, or have helped you along the way. You don’t have to have someone in your wedding to make them feel special.

RESERVE SEATS FOR THEM DURING THE CEREMONY

No one wants to search for a good seat during a wedding ceremony, so why not reserve seats for your closest friends and family?

To do this is easy. You just need to have some sort of marker letting people know where to sit. This will signal a few things. First, that you love them being there for your wedding. Second, that they are an honored guest and important to you.

Fun tip here – if you reserve seats for certain guests, let them know about it. We had a row of reserved seats at our wedding and the guests they were meant for were never informed. They ended up sitting in the very back of the wedding, unable to see the majority of the ceremony. #weddingfail.

INVITE THEM TO PRE-WEDDING EVENTS

Weddings aren’t just about the weddings. There are other events that lead up to them. And, not everyone is invited to everything.

If you have someone who maybe would have been in your wedding party, if you weren’t having a small wedding party, you can still include them in the fun. Besides simply remaining in touch with them and being a friend, below there is a list of pre-wedding events that are perfect to invite most close friends to:

Wedding dress shopping
Bridal Shower
Bachelorette party / Bachelor party
Spending time together the night before your wedding
Rehearsal dinner
Getting ready with you the morning of your wedding

As you can see, there are lots of opportunities to include someone without actually making them a bridesmaid or groomsman.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

There is nothing wrong with having a small wedding party. In fact, there can be many benefits to it. If you’re on the fence, but it appeals to you, go for it! Those who were expecting to be in your wedding, but will instead be a guest, will eventually understand. Plus, you can still delegate tasks to them and include them in any fun pre-wedding events. Happy wedding planning!