I think we can all agree – sending Thank You cards when you receive a wedding present is an essential thing to do. If you don’t, it’s just not a good look.
However, there’s more that goes into it than sending beautiful Thank You cards guests within three months of your wedding (yes, most wedding professionals suggest this as a goal to send). I’d like to remind you about THREE important Thank You card considerations that you may not have thought about yet.
I’d like to share my thoughts on some of the most overlooked Thank You card decisions:
1. WHEN TO ORDER THANK YOU CARDS
Do you order Thank You cards before or after the wedding?
Ordering cards after the wedding is typical if you want a picture of your wedding on the card. It’s a cute touch for sure, but if you go this route you need to take in consideration the timing.
Some photographers take months to get your photos back to you. You’ll then need to choose one (or multiple), order cards, receive them, and then start on the sending. This could mean that your Thank You’s don’t reach your gifters until well after the event.
I’ve been to weddings where I didn’t receive a thank you card until nearly a year afterwards. And you know what? I started to wonder if they even got my gift! It makes for a somewhat awkward conversation when you want to make sure they know you got them something.
My advice – unless you are confident in the timing, just order the cards before the wedding. However, if you can get it done and still send out the Thank You’s within three months of your event, go for it.
2. WHEN TO SEND THANK YOU CARDS TO
Do you send cards when you receive the gift, or after the wedding?
Because so many people register online, it’s common for gifts to show up at your door well before the wedding. This is especially true during a global pandemic when guests are not as able to attend your nuptials. It’s safe to say that when you share your online registry with others (usually when a Save The Date or Invite goes out), you’ll start seeing gifts arrive.
This leaves a question – do you send a thank you right away? Or do you wait until after the wedding when you are sending out a LOT of cards at once?
If you send the card right away, the positive is that the gift is fresh and you’re done with that particular card. Later on, when your hand is cramping from writing so many, you don’t have to worry about that one.
But what if you want to send a card that has a picture FROM your wedding on it? Or mention the wedding (Dear Aunt Sally, it was so wonderful seeing you in your beautiful orange suit at our special day. . . . Dear Jeff, you were such a fun dancer at our wedding…). If you send the cards ahead of time, you won’t be able to do either of those things. Also, if you wait, you’ll be in the groove of sending cards and it won’t be so bad.
My suggestion is to wait until after the wedding to send the cards. . . but still send them within the recommended three month timeframe.
3. WHO TO SEND THANK YOU CARDS TO
Should you send a card if the guest didn’t get you a gift?
If you ask most brides and grooms (and others, if you don’t like those titles), they will tell you that you definitely send a Thank You card if you receive a gift. But what about the folks that come to your wedding empty handed? And there will be those folks.
Do you skip the card altogether?
Let’s think about it a moment – what if they DID get you a gift and it got misplaced? In that case, if you don’t send a card they will think you’re rude. Of course, they may ask if you received their gift (see awkward conversation above), but in a lot of cases they won’t.
Here’s what I suggest – send a card anyway and thank them for coming. Thank them for taking the time to be there with you and your spouse on your special day. Don’t mention a gift. Chances are, if they DID get you something, they won’t even notice the gift isn’t mentioned. And if they didn’t get you something, maybe this will remind them and prompt them to send you something. And you’ll look like a class act either way.
There you have it, folks! THANK YOU for getting this far!
More From Hummingbird Wedding Advice:
Why You Should Have An Unplugged Wedding
Five Things That Went Wrong On My Wedding Day
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