Are you the first to get married among your friends? Feeling a little strange about it? No worries, this post has the tips you need.
Marriage is a beautiful milestone. Getting engaged is usually filled with lots of emotions like excitement, love, and of course, nervousness. If you are the first to get married in your friend group it may feel a bit like unchartered territory. And, it can be slightly isolating. Not only will you be the first to get married, but you’ll be the first to navigate wedding planning and the significance of marriage while also helping your friends understand this new phase of life for you. It’s a lot to take in.
The good news is that you can plan ahead to make this transition easier for yourself, and your friends. There are ways to make this time more joyous, inclusive, and meaningful for all of you. As long as you follow the tips in this post, you’ll be able to plan a wedding with joy, and set the tone for the future weddings in your friend group.
The First To Get Married: 7 Tips For The First Bride in a Friend Group
This post is going to share eight tips for the bride who is the first to get married in a friend group. The tips are not complicated, but they are significant. I normally say pick and choose what works best for you, but in this case, I recommend following all the tips for the best wedding experience.
Let’s get into it!
1. EMBRACE BEING THE FIRST TO GET MARRIED
The first tip is to embrace being the first to get married in your circle.
Whenever you’re the first to do anything, you’re more likely to get questions, experience curiosity, and even find that those around you don’t understand what you’re going through. You don’t have to see this as a burden, though. Rather, this is an opportunity.
In the spirit of embracing your position as first, be open and honest with your friends. Share with them what you’re planning, feeling, and what you ultimately need and want from them. Tell them about the great parts of wedding planning, and the downsides. Help them learn from your experience.
2. BE INCLUSIVE BUT SET EXPECTATIONS
With weddings comes expectations and opinions. And, you know, your friends aren’t mind-readers.
It all comes down to being clear with your vision. Be sure to tell your friends your expectations of them, especially if they are in your actual wedding party. Tell them what you need or expect early on, and let them know what you prefer in how you work together. Help your friends understand how you’d like to include them in your wedding, and also the parts of your wedding planning where you don’t need their help.
While you’re informing your friends about how they can be involved, set expectations in terms of their budget and time spent on your wedding. If you need help making your wedding affordable for your bridesmaids, this is the post for you. The key here is to kind of lay it all out for your friends, so they are both included and know exactly what to expect, early on.
3. BE UNDERSTANDING WHEN DRAMA COMES UP
Whenever there’s a wedding, there’s the potential for drama. This drama can often come from within your friend group, and it’s not always pretty.
Some of your friends will be thrilled for you and ready to be involved in your wedding. Others may have some unpleasant feelings about their own life situations, or being involved in a wedding at all. Your friends may also have comparisons amongst each other, as they “live up” to each other’s expectations, compare efforts among the group, or stress about being in a wedding. Lots of things can come up.
When, and if, this happens, be understanding. Acknowledge the feelings that your friends have. If you notice someone acting differently or withdrawing, check in with them. Show them that you value your friendship, no matter what else is going on. Look for opportunities to involve everyone, too, whether they are a bridesmaid, or not. Low key gatherings like dress shopping or crafting can bring everyone together.
4. PLAN AN AUTHENTIC WEDDING WITH YOUR GUESTS IN MIND
As the first to get married in your friend group, you set the path for the other weddings that will follow. This means that your wedding feels authentic to you and your partner, and has your guests in mind.
To have an authentic wedding, start with your priorities. Work with your partner to determine what each of you find most important. It could be your venue, your food, or your wedding entertainment. These priorities come first with your budget and planning.
From there, think about your guest experience. How would you like to experience a wedding? Show your friends how it’s done through thoughtful planning. You don’t need to “wow” everyone, but you should make your wedding fun, easy to enjoy, and planned with your guests in mind.
The key here is to have an amazing wedding, not just for you, but for your guests, that is also within your budget and abilities to curate. All of that may sound intimidating, but you’re setting the path here for your friend group and you’re definitely up for the challenge.
5. CREATE NEW TRADITIONS
When you’re the first to get married, you get to be the first to start new traditions that may stick for the rest of your friend’s weddings, too. It’s a great opportunity, if you ask me.
For example, you can trade off on being each other’s maids of honor, if your group is a trio, a la Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel on Friends. You can also have your bridal shower at a restaurant so no one feels the need to host at their homes. Perhaps your bachelorette party is at a low-key venue, or a busy city. Maybe you all have a slumber party the night before the wedding. Start something that may be fun and worth keeping as a tradition later on.
6. GIVE ADVICE TO THE FUTURE BRIDES AND GROOMS IN YOUR FRIEND GROUP
As the path-leader, you’re bound to get questions from your friends, especially if they are planning on getting married soon. Give advice freely to them.
This will be especially true after you get married. When your friends turn to you for advice, embrace your role as the “experienced bride”. Offer any tips or lessons you learned, and encourage your friends to make the right choices for themselves. Every situation is different, so don’t feel like you wasted any time sharing what worked for yours if they do something else.
The point is to be supportive when your friends need you. Attend their weddings with the same excitement they had for yours, and be supportive when it’s “their time”. The way you approach giving advice and also being married can inspire your friends to follow suit when they are in your same shoes after their weddings.
7. CELEBRATE THE NEXT CHAPTER IN YOUR LIFE
The last tip if you’re the first to get married in a friend group is for you to celebrate the next chapter in your life.
Starting a marriage is so much more than just a wedding. It’s about love, growth, and new beginnings. Being the first of your friends to “get there” is big, and it takes courage. Celebrate it all by taking photos, writing, and spending time with those you love the most.
THOUGHTS ON BEING THE FIRST TO GET MARRIED
Friends, being the first to get married of all your friends may feel strange but it’s also a chance to lead with love and authenticity. Stay true to yourself, your partner, and your vision for your wedding and marriage. Be sure to include your friends, and take the lead on “teaching” them on how to be in a wedding and also plan their own. Celebrate that you’re about to start a new chapter, and be appreciative of all the ones in your circle supporting you. Happy wedding planning!
More On Wedding Planning From Hummingbird Wedding Advice
Wedding Planning Perfectionism: How To Let It Go
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15 Ways To Include Your Future Sister-In-Law In Your Wedding
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