Ready for the worst wedding advice ever?
I’m kidding. You all know that I take a lot of pride giving great wedding advice. At least, I think it’s great. However, once in a while, it’s fun to switch it up. And, even though I’m doing the opposite of what I normally do, the takeaways are still there. If you know the advice is bad, you’ll avoid taking it, which is the goal.
The funny thing is that when you’re engaged you’ll get advice from all sources. Some of it is good, and some of it is very, very bad. This post may even call out some of the bad advice you may receive. Hopefully this will help you avoid taking it, even if it seems like good advice in the moment.
The Worst Wedding Advice Ever
This post is going to give you the worst wedding advice ever. I’ll start off with the advice and then in the notes let you know why it’s bad. If you think some of the advice is actually good, well, that’s your prerogative. This is your wedding, and I always say that you should do it your way. Even if it’s not what I would recommend.
Let’s get into it!
JUST SPEND WHATEVER – IT’S YOUR WEDDING DAY!
Some people can be very short sighted when it comes to money.
The problem with spending whatever you want on your wedding day is that it can come back to bite you. You may enter your marriage with a ton of debt. Perhaps you’ve blown an emergency fund on your wedding, and then an emergency comes up and you need the money. Yes, your wedding is worth splurging on, but you need to be strategic about it to avoid stress and headaches later on.
GET MARRIED NOW, YOU CAN ALWAYS GET DIVORCED LATER
Yikes. I can’t believe that some people actually say these quiet words out loud.
The point of getting married is not so you can have a wedding. It’s so you can enter a marriage that you believe can last a lifetime. Getting a divorce may seem rather easy, because it’s rather common, but it’s not fun or easy. Divorces are stressful, emotional, and can cost a lot of money.
If you are engaged and already thinking of divorce, you may want to reevaluate your plans. Canceling a wedding and breaking up with a partner is way easier than divorcing, trust me. Yes, it’s hard in the moment, but it will be much, much harder later on.
BE SURE TO FOLLOW THE ADVICE OF OTHERS, EVEN IF IT GOES AGAINST YOUR EVERY WILL
Planning a wedding means following your gut. You have to do what’s right for you.
If you have a mom, a maid of honor, a partner, a wedding planning, or anyone else giving you advice that you really, really don’t agree with, you don’t have to listen to it. Yes, it may upset some people if you don’t do what they want. However, this is your wedding. You and your partner are adults. You’re about to be a married person. So stick to your gut, respectfully, and choose guilt over regret.
MAKE DECISIONS BASED ON WHIM AND NOT RESEARCH OR THOUGHT
Yes, I just said go with your gut. However, you still need to research your big decisions, and think about them.
In the moment, it’s easy to get caught up in wedding choices. Maybe a good deal is coming along. Or you tour a venue that is perfect (except for the price tag). Take some time to evaluate. Do your research. Don’t choose things because you think you need to rush, or your heart tells you to go for it in the moment. It’s okay to sleep on it. You may surprise yourself.
YOUR WEDDING SHOULD BE EXACTLY LIKE PINTEREST
Are you the kind of person to fall down Pinterest rabbit holes?
If not, let me break it down for you. Pinterest is filled with the most beautiful wedding images you can ever imagine. And I mean, breathtaking. Pinterest can be very inspirational, but it’s not always achievable. Many Pinterest images have a huge financial backing, and can even be professionally staged. This is not attainable for most people.
So, don’t worry if your wedding isn’t like the ones you see on Pinterest. It will be your wedding, and that will make it beautiful. The worst wedding advice ever includes the pressure you may put on yourself to be “Pinterest Perfect”. Let it go.
Do you need more information on Pinterest and your wedding? Check out this post!
DON’T WORRY ABOUT THE FOOD, YOUR GUESTS WILL EAT WHATEVER
Have you ever gone to a wedding and thought “I am not looking forward to the food at all”?
Chances are, no.
For most of us, food is really important. It’s nourishing. It’s fun. And, it’s something that we look forward to when we go to weddings. Whether appetizers, the main course, or dessert is your jam, you’re probably looking to eat something that you’ll like.
Long story short, food is important. So make sure it’s at least decent. Your guests will thank you.
ALWAYS HIRE THE LEAST EXPENSIVE VENDOR
Even if you’re the most budget conscious couple ever, I would caution you against hiring the least expensive vendors you can find, just because of their price.
Most vendors will provide what you pay for. Meaning, if someone is really, really cheap, you may not get the best quality out of them. I’m talking photographers who show up for just one hour and take forever to get the photos back to you. Caterers who serve food that tastes awful. Florists who are unreliable and bring flowers that are dying. When in doubt, do your research, know your priorities, and hire accordingly.
IT’S OKAY TO RUSH YOUR WEDDING PLANNING, JUST GET IT DONE!
Alright, for some couples, yes, time is of the essence when you’re getting married.
Maybe one of you is in the country on a fiancé visa and you have a ninety day limit. Or one of you is about to be deployed. Perhaps you need to get married to qualify for health insurance, stat. There are reasons, sometimes. But not all the time.
Most couples do have some leeway for when they get married. This means that they don’t have to rush. They can save money. Do some research. Take their time. It’s all good.
MAKE YOUR WEDDING EXACTLY LIKE OTHERS YOU’VE BEEN TO
Of course, if you’ve been to your fair share of weddings, you’ve likely gathered some inspiration.
However, you don’t want your wedding to be exactly like the ones you’ve been to. It’s okay to mix things up. Choose a different location than your family expects. Skip a tradition you and your partner hate. Not have bridesmaids. Or, have tons of bridesmaids. Wear a – gasp – colorful wedding gown.
There are no rules when it comes to weddings, outside what the government deems legal and appropriate. So plan the wedding you want to plan, and don’t worry if you’re a trail blazer.
YOU DON’T NEED TO READ YOUR VENDOR CONTRACTS
Girl, you need to read your vendor contracts.
Are they boring? Probably. Are they filled with legal mumbo jumbo that you can barely understand? Maybe. But will they tell you exactly what you’re getting into with your vendors? Yes.
Look, vendors can surprise you as you get closer to your wedding. Bills can be larger than expected. Timing for payments can be inconvenient. Things can go sideways. So, do yourself a favor and read the contracts. Or at least ask a trusted person to do it for you.
WEDDING PLANNING ISN’T COMPLICATED. PROCRASTINATION IS TOTALLY OKAY IF YOU’RE BUSY
If I have one piece of advice to those planning a wedding, it’s likely along the lines of getting things done in a timely manner. Oh, and of course, planning a wedding that’s true to you, but that’s another topic.
Look, you don’t want to wait until the last moment to get your wedding planning tasks done. Be sure to schedule time to accomplish tasks at a steady pace. The days before your wedding should be spent resting or with family and friends, not frantically trying to finish it all. I promise you’ll be happy to cross things off your list, if you are intentional with it.
JUST SEND INVITES TO EVERYONE ALL AT ONCE – THEY LIKELY CAN’T COME AND WILL SEND A GIFT ANYWAY
Some people think that people are not into going to weddings. That if you send out invitations, you’ll get gifts and a bunch of declines. This is totally among the worst wedding advice ever.
Declines are not something I would count on. I mean, yes, sometimes you may send an invite and get a gift when someone doesn’t come to your wedding. But let’s explore the flip side. Invite more people than you want at your wedding, and you may go over your venue capacity. You may go over your budget. It can get overwhelming. It’s not worth the extra gifts, IMHO.
So, invite a number of people you have space for and budget for. Stagger those invites if you have to. Need tips on this? Check out this post.
YOU DON’T NEED A DAY OF COORDINATOR
Yes, you need a day of coordinator.
I go way into it in this post, but long story short, a day of coordinator is essential at most weddings. This person will help direct everyone. Make sure your vision is accomplished. Do they have to be a professional? No. But they should be competent and available. You don’t want to have to take on this task yourself. Want the worst wedding ever? Take this piece of worst wedding advice ever.
IT’S YOUR WEDDING – DON’T WORRY ABOUT YOUR VENDOR’S SUGGESTIONS
Chances are that your vendors go to way more weddings than you do. And while, yes, sometimes vendors suggest things that you really disagree with, for the most part they know what they are talking about.
Look at your vendors as part of your wedding planning team. They know what works. What doesn’t work. They have likely seen it all if they’ve been around for awhile. Take their advice when you don’t know the direction to take. Vendors usually know what they are talking about and have your best interest at heart.
REHEARSALS ARE OVERRATED – JUST SHOW UP!
Some people think it’s a hassle to plan a rehearsal. That weddings are pretty strait forward and it’s okay for everyone to just show up. Unless your wedding is very, very small, don’t skip your rehearsal.
Here’s the thing. There’s a lot of pressure during wedding ceremonies. Even if you host a rehearsal, things can get confusing for your bridal party, your family, or even you. Practice makes perfect. So, even if it’s inconvenient, find a time to practice.
YOU DON’T NEED TO THANK YOUR WEDDING PARTY
Your wedding party, aka your groomsmen and bridesmaids, are going to do a lot for your wedding. It’s important to thank them. Not doing so is among the worst wedding advice ever.
Even if you don’t have a big budget, you can still find ways to thank them. A hand written card goes a long way. Or, a little trinket of appreciation will be, well, appreciated. Need ideas? This is a post all about thank you gifts for your wedding party.
EXPECT TO BE TOTALLY STRESSED OUT ON YOUR WEDDING DAY
If you plan your wedding correctly, you will not be stressed out on your wedding day. This means having an actual plan. Paying attention to what can go wrong, and mitigating that risk as best you can. Having a budget and sticking to it. Surrounding yourself with the right people.
Beyond that, you’ll want to take care of yourself leading up to your wedding and pick your battles as you get closer to the day. Define your boundaries, and your priorities. I promise your wedding day can be completely magical if you are intentional leading up to it.
THOUGHTS ON THE WORST WEDDING ADVICE EVER
Friends, the worst wedding advice ever is out there. And you don’t have to take it. Be sure to use common sense when you plan your wedding. Trust your vendors. Take your time. Rely on your partner. Marry the right partner, too. Don’t believe everything you see online, and take care of yourself. You’ve got this! Happy wedding planning!
More Wedding Advice From Hummingbird Gives Advice
How To Find A Wedding Officiant
Nine Ways To Connect With Guests At Your Wedding
Wedding Planning Principals Every Bride Should Have
Did you find this post helpful, inspiring? PIN it to your Wedding Planning Board on Pinterest!
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