Yes, there are unbelievable maid of honor mistakes out there.
The thing is, being a maid of honor can be a difficult job. The maid of honor is put in charge of the rest of the bridal party, asked to spend lots of money and time on someone else’s wedding, and expected to enjoy it and feel honored to have the position. And, yes, it’s okay to be both overwhelmed and joyful as a maid of honor. However, there are ways to have it all lean towards joy instead of stress, if you know what I mean.
Once you know what the most unbelievable maid of honor mistakes are, and understand how to avoid them, I promise you’ll be a better maid of honor. Plus, the experience of the bride will be much better too. Because, let’s be honest here. If you accepted the role of maid of honor, chances are you want to do a good job at it. Avoiding maid of honor mistakes should be the baseline of doing a good job.
Unbelievable Maid Of Honor Mistakes (That Are Easy To Avoid!)
This post is going to share the most unbelievable maid of honor mistakes that are easy to avoid. It mainly all boils down to being a good friend and partner with the bride. It also breaks down making it easier for you to be a maid of honor. Additionally, the mistakes to avoid include common sense, some courtesy, and thoughtfulness. I promise that the advice in this post can be followed by just about maid of honor.
Let’s get into it.
MISTAKE #1: NOT COMMUNICATING WITH THE BRIDE EARLY ON ABOUT EXPECTATIONS
First things first, let’s talk about unbelievable maid of honor mistakes that involve communication. Or, lack thereof.
I know firsthand that being asked to be a maid of honor is an exciting request. It’s flattering, and it’s also easy to get carried away with it. However, what the maid of honor may be thinking about how to support the bride may not align with what the bride is thinking. Because of this, the maid of honor needs to communicate early on with the bride about expectations. And, vice versa.
This includes having a conversation very early about pre-wedding events such as the bridal shower and bachelorette. It may also include talking about a possible plan to pick out bridesmaid dresses, or expectations for the rehearsal dinner and being at the wedding. Level setting expectations helps both the maid of honor and the bride get on the same page, which can help them avoid disappointment and frustrations later on.
MISTAKE #2: GHOSTING THE BRIDE
Look, we all get busy sometimes. However, when a maid of honor ghosts a bride, it’s a huge no-no.
What am I talking about here? How about not responding to multiple texts? Calls? Emails? Falling off the face of the earth when the maid of honor knows the bride is trying to reach her? Yes, in some cases, the maid of honor may need a break and is purposely ignoring the bride. Or, she may be legitimately busy. However, a short text to let the bride know when you can connect will help the bride calm down, step back, and leave you alone.
Plus, responding is just common courtesy when you know your friend is stressing.
MISTAKE #3: NOT BEING SUPPORTIVE OF THE BRIDE’S VISION
Why is not being supporting of the bride’s vision a maid of honor mistake? Because it can create needless drama.
Yes, not every idea out there is a good one. And, the bride may have some crazy ones. However, if the bride’s ideas are safe, affordable, and feasible, try and have an open mind. This goes for events the maid of honor may be planning like the bridal shower and bachelorette. It also goes with the overall wedding vision. Even if she doesn’t like the bride’s attire, or plan for her wedding, after a simple response on thoughts, drop it. It’s the bride’s wedding, and she’s going to do what she wants. Be a friend and go with it.
MISTAKE #4: NOT BEING PROACTIVE WITH THE BRIDESMAID’S DRESSES
So many maid of honor mistakes can happen when it comes to attire and bridesmaid’s dresses.
It’s not that the maid of honor is expected to figure it all out. But, it should be on her radar. And, when it’s time to pick out a look, she needs to make it a priority. This is because the bride may have a very specific vision and some time may be needed for everyone to get on the same page with what to wear. It’s also because looking good, and consistent in the wedding photos is a real concern.
So, if you’re a maid of honor, have a plan for what to wear, talk to the bride, and don’t wait until the last minute.
MISTAKE #5: NOT BEING A LEADER FOR THE BRIDESMAIDS
The whole thing about being a maid of honor is that she is essential the leader of the wedding party, at least on the bride’s side.
The maid of honor sets the tone. She makes decisions. She needs to communicate. And, if she is super passive and expects others to take the role, she may be doing the wedding a disservice. It’s not that every maid of honor has to be a take-charge kind of person, but she should step up when needed. This is true for letting everyone know the plan for pre-wedding events, what to wear, and understanding the details of the wedding so she can help the bride and answer questions.
MISTAKE #6: FORGETTING ABOUT PRE-WEDDING EVENTS
Oh, this is a biggie among the unbelievable maid of honor mistakes in this post.
It is super important, I repeat, super important, that the maid of honor is involved with pre-wedding events. It might be that she is planning them. Or, just attending them. And, yes, sometimes a maid of honor cannot make an event. This should be due to good reasons, though, and not just forgetting to show up. Forgetting to plan an event or even show up to one is unbelievable, and not okay.
MISTAKE #7: NOT INVOLVING THE BRIDE WITH PRE-WEDDING EVENTS
I’ve mentioned multiple times in this post that each maid of honor should involve the bride when it comes to planning pre-wedding events.
This is so the two of you can get on the same page. The whole goal is not to plan the maid of honor’s dream bridal shower or bachelorette. It’s to plan the bride’s dream. Of course, some brides do really want to be surprised and left out of the loop. This is totally okay. However, the maid of honor should discuss that with the bride before going ahead and planning without her.
MISTAKE #8: NOT DELEGATING MAID OF HONOR TASKS WHEN OVERWHELMED
You know what’s a biggie maid of honor mistake that can totally ruin the experience? Not delegating.
Some maids of honor will take everything on themselves. The planning of the parties. The coordination of the attire. Making sure the bride is supported with DIY projects, counseling, and all that. It can all add up, though. The great thing about being part of a wedding party is that there are other people. If the maid of honor is overwhelmed and stressed, she needs to reach out to the bridesmaids and see who can help her. If they are close to the bride they will likely be glad to step up.
MISTAKE #9: SHOWING UP LATE OR UNPREPARED ON THE WEDDING DAY
There are many expectations placed on the maid of honor for the actual wedding day.
For example, the bride may request that the maid of honor bring snacks. Or an emergency kit. The maid of honor may be tasked with coordinating with the hair and make up team, or communicating the details to the rest of the wedding party. All of this is situational, but there is one universal request among all maids of honor, regardless of the wedding.
She needs to show up on time, and prepared.
This means bringing what she’s been asked to bring, and being there when needed. Wedding mornings can be hectic, stressful, and jam packed with activities. A late maid of honor, or one that shows up without the right supplies, will not be received well.
MISTAKE #10: BEING A BAD SPORT ON THE WEDDING DAY (OR AT ANY IMPORTANT PRE-WEDDING EVENT)
Some maids of honor may want to make things all about themselves, instead of the bride. Or, they will bring a bad attitude or mood to a fun pre-wedding event. None of this is okay.
No, maids of honor don’t have to be Suzie Sunshine all the time. They can have feelings, and their moods can adjust and shift as needed. However, each maid of honor should come to the pre-wedding events, and the wedding, with the right attitude. Don’t be a damper on your friend’s experience. Just smile and get through what you need to, and let the emotions out later if you have to.
MISTAKE #11: NOT BEING PREPARED WITH A MAID OF HONOR SPEECH
Uh oh. Some maids of honor forget there is public speaking involved.
Look, not every wedding will have the maid of honor say some words. But, many will. And, it’s important to understand what kind of wedding you’re in. In some cases, brides will tell a maid of honor they don’t need to say anything, and then ask at the last minute to step up and speak. This happened to me. So, be prepared. Jot down some notes. Practice. Have a speech ready. Maid of honor mistakes are sure to come if there’s no effort at all when it comes to saying a few words.
If you need help with speeches, this is the post for you.
MISTAKE #12: FORGETTING TO BE A PART OF THE WEDDING, AT THE WEDDING
I hate to remind everyone this, but maids of honor are not coming to the wedding to have a blast as a normal wedding guest. There are expectations that come with her attendance.
Each maid of honor needs to remain aware that she is there to help out the bride, in whatever way makes sense. This could be helping her pee when she needs to. Or, directing guests on where to go. It might be help putting gifts into a car at the end of the night, or calming down a belligerent groomsman. No matter what the thing is, the maid of honor may be asked to step up.
In short, she needs to remember that she is a part of the wedding, not just there to celebrate.
THOUGHTS ON UNBELIEVABLE MAID OF HONOR MISTAKES
Friends, there are so many unbelievable maid of honor mistakes out there. Mistakes that are easy to avoid, if you have some common sense and courtesy in you. Remember, even if you make a mistake as a maid of honor, you can always own up to it and try to move forward as best you can. Your friend asked you to be in her wedding for a reason, and you’re going to be amazing at it. Enjoy the experience!
More On Maids Of Honor From Hummingbird Wedding Advice
Can You Have More Than One Maid of Honor?
Why Being A Bridesmaid Is Such An Honor
How To Be A Great Bridesmaid (Even If You’ve Never Been One Before)
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