As the person getting married, your actions can totally help your bridesmaids have a great experience supporting your wedding.
I’m sure we’ve all heard the horror stories about people who agreed to be in weddings and then later regretted saying “yes”. The stories about brides who were overbearing, unrealistic, and downright ungrateful. The truth is that the actions the bride does or doesn’t take can greatly impact the experience of her bridesmaids.
Being aware of what to do is the first step to making sure your bridesmaids have a great experience helping with your wedding. Because, let’s face it. They are doing you a favor, and it’s important to make it as special as possible for them. The small things can really add up. And, one day, you’re likely to be in their weddings so you’ll want them to do the same for you.
13 Ways To Make Sure Your Bridesmaids Have A Great Experience
This post will list out 13 ways to make sure your bridesmaids have a great experience throughout your engagement journey. Most of the suggestions won’t cost you anything. And, many of them can be accomplished with just some intention. Think of it this way. The more you help your bridesmaids, the more they will help you. Making your wedding a wonderful experience for them will pay dividends in the end, for everyone.
Let’s get into the ways!
1. START WITH A THOUGHTFUL BRIDESMAID PROPOSAL
I recently wrote a whole post about bridesmaid proposals. In it, I go over the importance of them, creative ways to ask someone to be in your wedding, and considerations based on the kind of person you’re asking.
The moral of the story is that the bridesmaid proposal is your wedding party’s first glance into your wedding. It sets the tone for the rest of their experience. So, if you’re thoughtful and intentional about asking someone to be in your wedding, it helps them see how thoughtful and intentional they should be as your bridesmaid. Asking someone over text, or in a nonchalant way, compared to a planned request shows them a lot. When in doubt, be thoughtful about the initial request.
2. MAKE INTRODUCTIONS ONCE YOU KNOW WHO IS IN YOUR WEDDING PARTY
Chances are, your bridesmaids don’t all know each other. Some many be from different friend groups, or relatives who live far away. Because they will have to work together throughout your engagement, it’s up to you make sure they get introduced to each other.
Introducing everyone doesn’t have to be formal. Of course, it would be nice if you’re able to plan a dinner or night out so everyone can get acquainted. This isn’t always possible, though. Introducing everyone can be as simple as an email to everyone. Or, creation of a social media group where everyone is included. The important part is that they all have each other’s contact information so they can plan pre-wedding events with ease.
3. SET YOUR EXPECTATIONS EARLY
If you don’t tell your bridesmaids what you expect from them, it can lead to a lot of confusion, or even drama. And, this isn’t fun for anyone.
When you ask someone to be in your wedding, let them know what that means. Tell them what kind of travel they may be asked to do. Let them in on your vision for your bridal shower or bachelorette. Inform them on a timeline and tentative schedule. All of this will help them feel more at ease about what your wedding means to their own lives, and clear up any confusion down the road.
4. BE UNDERSTANDING OF YOUR BRIDESMAID’S LIMITATIONS
Look, we all want to feel like our wedding is the center of everyone’s world. However, it isn’t.
It will help your bridesmaids have a great experience if you take into account their personal lives as you plan your wedding, and their involvement. Not everyone will be able to travel for pre-wedding events. Not everyone can afford a fancy dress. Taking factors such as financial limitations, work schedules, and family commitments into account will help your bridesmaids feel at ease supporting you in your wedding.
In some cases, you’ll have to be understanding or compromise when a bridesmaid has personal issues that conflict with your wedding vision.
5. PAY FOR AS MUCH AS YOU CAN
Being a bridesmaid can be a super expensive endeavor. Don’t know what I mean? Check out this post on how to be a great bridesmaid. It lays out all the possible expenses that can come up.
To help your bridesmaids have a great experience with your wedding, try and pay for as much as you can afford. This doesn’t mean you have to cover all travel expenses, or their attire. It may mean that you pay for their wedding day accessories, a dinner during your bachelorette, or for their hair and makeup. What you cover depends on your comfort level, and a little will go a long way.
6. CHOOSE BACHELORETTE PARTY DESTINATIONS THAT EVERYONE CAN AFFORD
If you have a bridesmaid who is really tight on cash, and you suggest a bachelorette party that involves air travel and hotel accommodations, it will surely stress her out.
When you plan your pre-wedding events, think about what will work for everyone. This may mean going somewhere close to home. Or, finding lodging that isn’t four star accommodations. It may mean that you have two bachelorette parties so a bridesmaid is still able to join in for some fun. Just take into account what will probably work for everyone, and be okay with the outcome.
If you need some low-key bachelorette party ideas, check out this post.
7. LET YOUR BRIDESMAIDS CHOOSE THEIR OWN DRESS (OR CHOOSE ONE THAT CAN ACTUALLY BE WORN AGAIN)
Gone are the days of ugly bridesmaid dresses. These days, bridesmaid dresses are chic, pretty, and re-wearable.
Now, not every wedding follows these guidelines. However, since you want to make sure your bridesmaids have a great experience, your wedding will. There are two main schools of thought to make it happen. First, you can have your girls choose their own dresses. You can provide parameters, if you want, to ensure consistency. Second, you can choose for them, but choose wisely. This means picking a dress for them to wear that doesn’t scream “bridesmaid”.
For more information on shopping for bridesmaids dresses, check out this post.
8. BE CLEAR ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT AND DON’T WANT
As you go about your engagement, and your bridesmaids ask for your input, it will help their experience if you’re super clear about your wishes.
So, don’t leave them hanging. Don’t make them guess. When they ask you who you want to invite to your bridal shower, be clear about who. When they ask if you want to have a low key bachelorette, or a ragger, don’t falter on your answer. If you’re asked if they should wear their hair up, or down, at your wedding, tell them. Again, don’t make them guess. They just want to execute your wishes, so let them be known.
9. GIVE YOUR BRIDESMAIDS A SHOUTOUT WHEREVER POSSIBLE
A simple “thank you” can go a long way with most people. And, since your bridesmaids are supporting your wedding, putting in time and money to help with your vision, it’s important that you thank them whenever possible.
Look for opportunities to shout out your wedding party. For example, your wedding website is a great way to start. You can include a photo of them, their role, and how you met them. You can also tag them in photos with a “thank you blurb” if you post about your bridal shower or bachelorette on social media. Of course, if you give a speech at your wedding, don’t forget to name names there, either.
10. DELEGATE BASED ON THEIR SKILL LEVELS AND AVAILABILITY
No one wants to feel overwhelmed when they are involved in someone else’s wedding. This is why it’s essential to your bridesmaid’s experience that you delegate their involvement according to what they are comfortable with.
For example, if you want to have a member of your bridal party organize an elaborate bridal shower, it’s best to not ask the person who has never even been a bridesmaid before. And, if you need help with a crafty DIY project, don’t consult the bridesmaid who doesn’t even own scissors. We all have different interests, experience, and comfort levels. You’re probably already aware of the strengths each of your bridesmaids have.
Delegate wedding tasks accordingly.
11. CHECK IN WITH YOUR BRIDESMAIDS ABOUT THEIR LIVES
Yes, being in a wedding is exciting. It means a lot of involvement. However, it’s also not the only thing that your bridesmaids have going on.
In order go to make sure your bridesmaids have a great experience with your wedding, don’t forget that they have other things happening in their lives. When you get together throughout your engagement, ask them what’s been going on. Listen to what they want to talk about with you. Be thoughtful and generous with your friendship, if they need it. It will mean a lot to them to know they haven’t lost you as a friend while you’re wrapped up in your wedding planning.
12. ALLOW PLUS ONE’S
This may be a bit controversial. And, it depends on the situation. Also, I didn’t even follow my own advice about this when I got married. But hear me out.
If your wedding has a hard and fast rule about plus one’s (in that they aren’t allowed), you may want to make an exception for your bridesmaids who aren’t in serious relationships. For example, one of your bridesmaids may be in a relationship that is fairly new. They might want to bring their new partner to your wedding, but you aren’t sure. Just let them. Unless there are some serious issues with guest count, one extra person who is there to support the friend, who is supporting you, won’t make or break your day.
However, all of this is a judgement call. You may have bridesmaids who are single, and you don’t want just anyone to come with them. So, there is leeway with this recommendation.
If you want more details on plus one’s, check out this post.
13. GIVE YOUR BRIDESMAIDS A THANK YOU GIFT
There are lots of ways to thank a bridesmaid, and giving a little token of your appreciation is one of them.
Not sure what to give? Well, you can treat everyone to an experience, like a massage. Or, you can take everyone to dinner one night. Treating your ladies to the accessories they can wear to your wedding, and a little “bridesmaid kit” is also sweet. It all depends on your group, your budget, and everyone’s taste. If you need more ideas, check out this post on gift ideas for your wedding party.
CLOSING THOUGHTS
By now I think we can agree that it’s essential to make sure that your bridesmaids have a great experience supporting your wedding. And, that you, the person getting married, plays a huge role in that. It’s all about being understanding, thoughtful, and intentional with your group of friends. In return, they will help make your wedding day experience amazing. Happy wedding planning!
More From Hummingbird Wedding Advice:
12 Alternative Wedding Guest Book Ideas
Coordinating Of Parents Of Kids Who Are In Your Wedding
EIGHT Stunning Ways To Transform Your Venue
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