Wedding planning can be super intimidating if you’ve never done it before. And, let’s be honest here. Most engaged couples have never done it before.
I’m not afraid to admit I went a little crazy when I was planning our wedding. Every little detail was determined. Of course, wedding planning took effort. It took thought. It took research, decision making, and critical thinking. Doing all of that required a bit of time and space, and was not accomplished in the first days, or even weeks, of being engaged.
The thing is, there really are some foundational things to take care of before you start wedding planning. Basic answers to basic questions, so to speak. Now, of course, for some couples, the answers aren’t so simple. For others, you can get them readily and with a little intention. Once you have your initial information, though, you’ll be able to complete the rest of wedding planning with much more ease.
How To Start Wedding Planning: The First Four Steps
This post is about how to start wedding planning. It will go into the first four steps you need to do in order to do everything else. Yes, it really is that simple. Start by focusing on these four things, and these four things only. A little preview for you is that the four things are to write down your guest list, decide when you want to get married, determine your budget, and pick your wedding date and location. In that order. More on each item below.
Let’s get into it!
THE FIRST STEP TO WEDDING PLANNING IS TO WRITE YOUR GUEST LIST
Most people don’t realize this, but your guest list is everything.
When you first start wedding planning, you and your fiancé need to brainstorm everyone you want to be involved. At this point there’s no harm in listing old friends you haven’t seen in a while, new friends you don’t know that well, or cousins who invited you to their wedding five years ago. Go for it.
When you and fiancé have your list (preferably in some sort of spreadsheet), reach out to your key stakeholders. In most cases, this will be your mom’s, grandma’s, or close relatives who may have strong opinions about who they think should be included.
Combine all the lists from everyone and you have your first draft guest list. If your guest list seems like too many people, you can make some cuts. Plus, you should adjust as time goes on. Remember, not everyone you invite will be able to make it to your wedding, and nothing is set in stone until you send invitations.
For more information on creating a final guest list, check out this post.
NARROW DOWN WHEN YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED
If you are flexible on this and not particular about seasonality or year, don’t spend too much time on this step.
However, if you have always pictured yourself a June bride (or groom), or have to get married after or before some deadline or starting point (graduation comes first. . . or baby. . . etc), then you have an idea of when you want to get married. Talk with your future spouse about your vision, and make sure you’re on the same page.
A subset of this would be to discuss what day of the week to get married. Most people prefer to get married on Saturdays. Friday evenings or Sunday afternoons may certainly be more budget friendly and have more availability, but it will help to pre-decide what works for you.
DETERMINE YOUR BUDGET
Obviously, weddings can be expensive.
There are ways to cut costs, but you need to know what you’re working with. Do you have money saved for this? Can you cash flow wedding items? Will your families help contribute to the fund? Whenever possible, avoid going into debt over your wedding – this will create more stress than it’s worth in the long run.
Why do I say do this after you narrow down your preferred wedding date? Well, it will let you know how much time you have to add more money to your wedding fund. Yes, there will be some costs along the way of your engagement (deposits for venues, photographers, clothes, etc), but the majority of the funds will be due right before the big day. This gives you some time to plan accordingly.
For detailed instructions on how to create a wedding budget, check out this post.
PICK YOUR DATE
For the vast majority of couples, this will mean finding a venue. The first two things a venue will want to know? How many guests are you expecting and when do you want to get married?
I found the easiest way to find venues was to search online, but you could also crowd source on social media for recommendations. Not sure if you want a local or destination wedding? Think maybe a winery would be great, but your dad is a member at a country club? Look into them all! Doing research is all part of proper planning.
Once you find potential venues, contact them for some basic information. Ask the coordinator about how many people they hold, what dates are available, and what an average wedding there costs. This will eliminate many venues before you even take the time to see them. Once you find some that fit your criteria, go on tours, take pictures, and ask lots of questions. You’ll know when you find the right venue, and it will be so exciting to lock it in.
HOW TO START WEDDING PLANNING
Friends, it’s not easy to start wedding planning. However, if you’re able to systematically start with the first four steps laid out in this post, you’ve got the foundation to keep going. After you pick your venue and commit to get married on a certain date at a particular location, it’s time to really get the ball rolling by booking all your other vendors and really getting things moving. Happy wedding planning!
More On Getting Engaged From Hummingbird Wedding Advice
The 12 Best Places To Get Engaged In The Bay Area
9 Simple Ways To Announce Your Engagement
12 Engagement Party Games That Are Actually Pretty Fun
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