Have you noticed some American wedding traditions are falling out of style? I sure have!
There are some wedding traditions that are almost always in movies and TV shows that feature weddings. Some things are just stereotypically “wedding”. However, if you go to a fair bit of weddings, you will see that many of the things we see on TV aren’t happening in real life. Weddings today are doing things a bit differently, and don’t go with tradition just because.
Just because some wedding traditions are falling out of style doesn’t mean they will never be seen again. It just means that they are less common than one may expect. If there are traditions on this list that you absolutely want in your wedding, go for it. There is no reason you shouldn’t have a traditional wedding in the exact way that you see fit. However, if you see traditions here that you are not feeling, don’t feel pressure to make them happen. Many of your wedding planning peers aren’t either.
Which American Wedding Traditions Are Falling Out Of Style?
This post is going to list out which American wedding traditions are falling out of style. It’s based on my observations, and no one else’s. In some parts of America, you may be more likely to see these things. In others, hardly ever. There may even be traditions on the list that you’ve never seen or even heard of before. All of that is okay, as weddings today are about cultivating what the couple wants to have, with little pressure to uphold traditions.
Let’s get into it.
THE BOUQUET TOSS
The bouquet toss is definitely one of those stereotypical wedding traditions that we see in the movies.
Often, when seen on TV, there is a group of mad women clawing at a bouquet, desperate to grab what the bride is throwing. While this may seem commonplace at American weddings, it really isn’t. Many weddings are skipping the bouquet toss, or doing an alternative. At my wedding, we had guests dance and the last couple standing was the one who had been together the longest. They got my bouquet.Â
All of this is to say that tossing your bouquet to a gathered crowd of single women is definitely falling out of style, and no one will miss it if you omit it from your wedding.
THE GARTER TOSS
Oh, the garter toss.
When was the last time you saw a garter toss?
I’ve got to admit. . . it’s been at least a decade for me.
The garter toss is definitely trending out of style. There’s just something about it that isn’t that appealing to today’s couples. Could it be the pressure to “sex” it up in front of all your closest friends and family? Could it be that single guys at weddings just don’t want to participate in grabbing the garter from the groom?
I’m not sure. All I know is that if couples are skipping this tradition, no one is upset about it.
CAKE CUTTING
Let’s get controversial on this one.
Look, many, many couples still love cutting their cake in front of wedding guests. We totally incorporated this tradition into our wedding. However, cakes, in general, are trending out of style. Many couples are choosing dessert bars, or pies, or ice cream trucks. Cakes will probably always have their place at weddings, but today there are many options.
Because of this, cutting the cake is probably a wedding tradition that is falling out of style.
GIVING THE BRIDE AWAY
I’ve written a whole post about giving the bride away, and the history of where it came from.
These days, less and less brides are “given away”. Couples are getting married older now. They are more established than ever before. Many brides have been taking care of themselves for quite some time by the time they get married. It seems a bit strange to have their fathers, or other male relatives, give them away.
Now, this isn’t to say that dads aren’t walking their daughters down the aisle. It’s just that the whole tradition of making a show about providing permissions and blessings and being okay with her getting married is definitely falling out of style.
VEILS THAT COVER THE BRIDE’S FACE
This is a cultural thing, but these days it’s super rare to see a bride’s veil covering her face at an American wedding.
Veils are of course, still very much in style. They are more of a fashion statement, or an add-on to the wedding day ensemble, than anything else. They aren’t meant to create the aura of mystery that veils once provided to brides. Historically, in arranged marriages, veils that covered faces seemed to provide a bit of purpose. These days, the face covering thing just isn’t on trend.
If you want to learn more about veils and their history, this is the post for you.
BRIDE’S FAMILY PAYING FOR THE WEDDING
This one depends on the family.
In some cases, the bride’s family will pay for their wedding. And, in others, the groom’s family will cover the expense. However, as couples are getting married later in life, in many American wedding situations, the couple ends up paying for their wedding. Sometimes they may gather help from family, but this isn’t the expectation it once was.
Here are some blog posts about talking to your family about paying for your wedding, and reasons why you should pay for your own wedding.
NOT SEEING EACH OTHER BEFORE THE CEREMONY
Again, a controversial wedding choice.
Many couples still wait to see each other as the bride walks into the ceremony space. And, I think that this will never go away entirely. For some couples, waiting for “that moment” is really special and exciting. There is no judgement for those who wait.
However, first looks have arrived as an option and they are here to stay. A first look is when the couple chooses to see each other before the wedding. The moment is often private, and it is still special. It allows couples to take a lot of photos ahead of the wedding, and it saves time during the wedding. Because first looks provide convenience, they are quite popular among today’s newlyweds. They are definitely a wedding trend that is becoming more of a tradition.
HAVING A BIG WEDDING
I believe the pandemic changed weddings forever.
Gone are the days where big weddings are the expectation, no matter what. Of course, this depends on the family, but micro weddings have arrived, and they aren’t going anywhere. Big weddings are more expensive, and more work to plan. The appeal of having a small wedding that is focused solely on the couple’s closest friends and family, is huge among many people who are engaged. It all depends on the couple, and what they want for their wedding experience, but big weddings are one of those wedding traditions that are falling out of style.
MATCHING BRIDESMAID’S DRESSES
Every bride has a vision of what she wants her bridesmaids to wear.
It used to be that every bridesmaid wore the same dress. And, those dresses, historically, were not that cute. While times have changed, and bridesmaid’s dresses have come a long way, gone are the days where we can expect every bridesmaid to wear the same thing. In some weddings, bridesmaids will wear literally whatever they want, and in others they wear similar gowns, but not matchy-matchy.
While matching bridesmaid’s dresses will likely never go away entirely, it is an American wedding tradition that is falling out of style. There is just a lot of freedom these days to do something a bit different.
RECEIVING LINES
Do you know what a receiving line is?
If not, let me break it down for you.
A receiving line is where guests at a wedding will line up after the ceremony and approach the newlyweds one by one. The newlyweds will spend a minute with each guest, greeting them and welcoming to their wedding. While some weddings do have variations of this, as seen with newlyweds “excusing” guests from their ceremony seats, or doing reception photos at each table, the days of guests actually lining up are diminishing.
This is a great example of a tradition that used to be the norm, falling out of style.
GUESTS SITTING ON THE “BRIDE’S SIDE” OR “GROOM’S SIDE”
Think about the last time you went to a wedding.
Were you sitting on the “right” side?
Did anyone tell you to move? Did anyone even tell you where to sit? Probably not. I mean, these days, when you go to a wedding, you’re probably just looking for a good seat where you can easily see the ceremony. You’re not going to spend more than a moment wondering if you’re representing the “wrong side”.
The tradition of segregating guests based on who they are closest to at the wedding is pretty much over, if you ask me. And, I think this is a good thing. Not only are weddings about blending everyone, but having to sit on a side is confusing. It’s best to let guests sit wherever they like and move on.
CLOSING THOUGHTS
Friends, there are many American wedding traditions that are falling out of style. If you are deadset on one of the traditions on this list, or want to work on bringing it back, go for it! If you’re not into them, skip them. I promise your wedding will be fantastic either way because it will be about what works best for you and your vision. Happy wedding planning!Â
More From Hummingbird Wedding Advice
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Honor Your Late Loved One At Your Wedding
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