Do you know what I wish I knew about wedding guests before my wedding?
Well, a lot.
I mean, when I started planning my wedding I thought I was covered. After all, I had actually been a wedding guest before. Many times. However, there were still some assumptions I made going into wedding planning that really did need to be validated. As I got deeper into the planning, I had to remind myself of certain truths. That there were some things wedding guests cared about, and some things they just didn’t.
For example, many details of your wedding are not of importance to wedding guests. However, they truly care about the food. Wedding guests want a good plan, and they want a logistical flow. They care about communication, and they want to be in the know about what is going on. Wedding guests love to be entertained, but they don’t need it to go overboard.
All common sense, I guess, but still things I wish I knew about wedding guests before my wedding.
15 Things I Wish I Knew About Wedding Guests Before My Wedding
This post is going to go into fifteen things I wish I knew about wedding guests before my wedding. Most of the items are not going to be mind shattering truths that you, yourself, don’t already know. They will be validating though, about what kind of effort you should put into what parts of your wedding planning. Put more time and budget to what guests care about, and less into what they don’t when you’re unsure of what your priorities should be.
Let’s get into it!
1. WEDDING GUESTS DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR WEDDING COLORS
Friends, let me be frank with you.
Colors are for the couple getting married. Guests really do not care about them at all.
Unless your wedding colors are absolutely obnoxious (neon orange, anyone), or incredibly depressing (I’m sure a brown and black wedding happened at some point in time), your wedding guests will probably not even notice what they are. And, the colors will not impact their experience at your wedding. So, choose colors that work best for your own taste and theme, and don’t worry about what others think.
2. GUESTS REALLY, REALLY APPRECIATE GOOD FOOD
As mentioned before, food is of great importance for wedding guests. Because of this, it’s important to take it seriously as you plan your wedding.
No, you don’t need to serve a five course dinner at your wedding. However, the food should be good. Don’t order a bunch of sub-par pizzas and think wedding guests won’t notice. Make food one of the stars of your wedding, and your wedding guests will be that much more appreciative that they were invited.
3. NO ONE WILL NOTICE IF THE FLOWERS ARE FAKE
I’m not going to knock the importance of flowers, if they are important to you and your partner.
Flowers are gorgeous. They can really bring things together at a wedding. However, if you don’t have the budget for a bunch of fresh flowers, don’t be afraid to supplement with some fake flowers. Especially if they will be used for areas that are not seen close up, like background décor or your ceremony arbor.
Wedding guests will not notice, and to be honest, they won’t really care, either way.
4. PEOPLE WON’T STAY AS LONG AS YOU THINK THEY WILL
When we planned our wedding, I was sure that every single wedding guest would stay until the very end.
Boy, was I wrong.
Wedding guests have a shelf life. Yes, some will stay to the end. Most may even stay to the end. However, many will leave as soon as dessert is served. It’s just what happens. If this was something I knew about wedding guests before my wedding I maybe would have changed some things around. Just saying.
5. WEDDING GUESTS AREN’T CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR CENTERPIECES, LIKE AT ALL
When it comes to how you decorate your wedding tables, don’t do it to please your wedding guests.
They don’t care about your centerpieces. They don’t care about your linens. Wedding guests don’t even care about your chargers. They care about having the right eating utensils. A glass for water. A clean napkin to use. So don’t sweat the aesthetics.
6. INVITEES WILL ABSOLUTELY LOOK AT YOUR WEDDING WEBSITE
The usefulness of wedding websites was something I kind of knew about wedding guests before my wedding, but it wasn’t something that really stood out until I started getting feedback from guests about the site.
Wedding guests will go to your wedding website. They will browse it. They will read what you put on there. So, be sure to set one up. It’s a great way to share a lot of information at once, and it will be clicked on.
7. GUESTS WILL ASSUME IF THEY DON’T SEND AN RSVP, YOU KNOW THEY AREN’T COMING
You know what really gets me going? RSVP’s.
I was one of those brides who looked into RSVP’s that I didn’t receive back. No, I didn’t assume a guest wasn’t coming if I didn’t receive an RSVP. I actually asked them. And, you know what? Many wedding guests couldn’t come, and assumed that since we didn’t receive the RSVP, we just knew that. I mean, come on. And, in some cases, we didn’t receive an RSVP and they were coming. It can get very confusing.
Long story short, always ask if you don’t receive confirmation. You never know.
8. THEY WILL USE THE SHUTTLE, IF YOU PAY FOR IT
Are you springing for wedding transportation for your wedding guests? You totally should if it makes sense for your wedding and budget. Your guests will use it.
If you are serving alcohol at your wedding, and have a hotel room block set up for your wedding, guests will absolutely jump on board your pre-paid shuttle. So, don’t think the money you spend on a shuttle will go to waste. Be sure to communicate the details to your guests, and feel good that you’re making sure everyone has a safe ride after your wedding.
9. IT’S TOTALLY OKAY IF YOU MAKE LAST MINUTE CHANGES DUE TO WEATHER (BUT YOU NEED TO LET GUESTS KNOW ABOUT IT)
We need to talk about the weather.
Last minute changes sometimes have to happen because of weather. It’s just a thing. The key here is that your wedding guests won’t mind if there are some changes. They don’t want to be out in the rain any more than you do. But, you have to tell them what the changes are.
Need help communicating with wedding guests? Check out this post!
10. NO GUEST WILL PAY 100% ATTENTION TO EVERY LITTLE WEDDING DAY EVENT
I couldn’t believe it when my in-laws missed a really fun dance at our wedding, but they did. And it proved something I wish I knew about wedding guests before my wedding.
That they will miss things.
Not everyone will be there for everything. Some will be in the bathroom during your first dance. Others will be distracted during cake cutting. There will be some guests who completely miss your best man’s speech, and others who won’t even remember the second half of the night. It’s going to happen, and your wedding will still go on.
11. WEDDING GUESTS DON’T ALWAYS WANT TO DANCE
You know what I wish I knew about wedding guests before my wedding, when it comes to the reception?
That some of them just won’t dance.
It’s easy to be enjoying your wedding reception and look out at a bunch of people still sitting at their tables. These guests may be taking a break from dancing, if dancing is going on, or they just may not be into it. Perhaps they like to watch. Perhaps they just want to sit and enjoy a drink or a conversation. No matter what the deal is, it’s okay. They don’t have to dance and you don’t have to worry about it.
12. GUESTS MAY SURPRISE YOU WITH THE AMOUNT THEY DRINK
Ask anyone who is bringing their own bottles to their own wedding, and they will tell you that estimating how much wedding guests will actually drink is hard.
Like, really hard.
And, it’s stressful, too. Buy too much, and you’ll have a ton of leftovers. Buy too little, and you’ll run out of drinks before the night even gets going. Here’s what I suggest. Anticipate two drinks per guest for the whole night. And then take about a quarter of your guests and assume they will have four drinks. Keep your drink options simple, and buy a little extra wine and beer. You can always give it away after the wedding.
13. WEDDING GUESTS AREN’T MIND READERS – GIVE THEM SIGNAGE
Have you ever gone to a wedding and had literally no idea what was going on? Yeah, me too.
So, give your guests some signage. Even if something seems intuitive to you, it may be confusing to guests. Put signs in the bathrooms. At the guest book. By the favors. In front of the bar. Put signs everywhere you can think of. Your guests will be less confused and can thank you later.
14. GUESTS WILL TOTALLY USE THE GOODIES YOU PUT IN THE BATHROOMS
Are you thinking about putting out bathroom baskets but aren’t sure?
Just go for it.
If you’re not sure what I’m talking about, this is the post for you. It’s all about thoughtful items you can put out for your guests at your wedding. And, here’s the thing. Yes, these thoughtful baskets are totally optional. They are an added expense and another task for you to take care of. But, your guests will have a better experience at your wedding because of them. So go for it, if you’re on the fence.
15. THOSE IN ATTENDANCE DON’T CARE ABOUT TRADITIONS YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT
Think you need to keep a tradition at your wedding just for your guests? Think again.
If you don’t care about a certain tradition, your guests won’t either. I wish I knew this about wedding guests before my wedding, because there’s at least one tradition I would have omitted if I knew. When it comes to your wedding, make it your own. This means not keeping things just for your guests. It will be okay to skip what doesn’t suit you and your partner.
THOUGHTS ABOUT WHAT I WISH I KNEW ABOUT WEDDING GUESTS BEFORE I GOT MARRIED
Friends, there are so many things I wish I knew about wedding guests before I got married. Luckily, I’m able to pass on the knowledge to you before your wedding. Remember, focus on the items wedding guests actually care about, like food, signage, and general logistics. Make your wedding your own when it comes to traditions, décor, and colors. You’ve got this. Happy wedding planning!
More On Guests From Hummingbird Wedding Advice
Ten Tips To Create A Small Wedding Guest List
Five Ways To Let Guests Know What Your Wedding Dress Code Is
Social Media Mistakes Wedding Guests Should Avoid
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